Love, Love — where can I find thee?


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Love, Love -- Where can I find thee? 
OR Another Chapter in The Purple Lady's Love Project

While I am not a very smooshy sort of person, I must say that I value honest, loving communications. Regular daily life does not warrant constant goobery professions of love, yet I believe the daily thoughtful things those who love and love in return do for each other are represented in this quote by Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

The scene from whence this comes is a mockery of a marriage proposal. He is enraptured with Elizabeth, yet he does not realize how he must treat Elizabeth for her to take his love in earnest. Deservedly, our feisty and bold Elizabeth shuts Mr. Darcy down and it would be left at that-- except the seed of love has been planted AND Austen must show how real love comes into being. What it looks like and where to find it.


For nearly the entire rest of the story, Austen unravels the way in which Mr. Darcy learns to show Miss Elizabeth Bennet that he ardently admires and loves her. His actions of care and concern for her welfare and the welfare of her wacky and embarrassing family, as they affect her happiness, are the driving force behind his comings and goings. Notably, he conducts himself in such a way that no one could mistake his genuine, honorable intentions. The actions are not done for show; he takes great pains to be anonymous in his generosity.

We find the essence of tangible love in the example of Mr. Darcy's new found selflessness. When care and concern are lathered upon our loved ones, they will know that we love and admire them. Because we show them. Discovering, and applying, this essential ingredient of care typically lights a desire to show more care and concern in return, when considering mutual-love relationships.

I think of the old adage actions speak louder than words and know of its truthfulness. When the actions of someone who professes love SHOUT an absolute lack of concern for your welfare, a red flag should go up. The idea that they just might not realize how to treat you should be given serious contemplation. The idea that something should go differently should be fostered into reality. Miss Elizabeth let Mr. Darcy know that his incivility would not warrant affection from her because his actions did not look like love at all.

Mr. Darcy's words and subsequent actions serve as the voice for what we all hope to find in that special someone's heart when they chance upon us. Talk is cheap and a broken heart costs much more than money, so remember to watch for the actions that make the words true and honest when considering things of the heart.

A few related links:

Juliet: Worth the Read

Romance Addiction at Its Best

Glee and a Rambling About Love

#PrideandPrejudice #love #quotes


5 comments:

  1. Oh...you knew I'd be a sucker for this topic...unable to continue on in life without giving my humble opinion! Hehe. I LOVE this story!!! And Darcy's proposal is one of my favorite scenes. He is such a typical man...saying those thoughtless, insensitive words...and being totally clueless as to why Elizabeth could possible be so offended. Your description of what unfolds throughout the rest of the story was beautifully written. That last half of the story, in my opinion, is the best! Thats where the angst begins to build, Darcy learns how to truly show love for Elizabeth (as you said) and Elizabeth begins to feel the ever-growing bonds of affection for Darcy. Awww...SUCH a great story! The point that I love that you made though is that sometimes the ones that profess their love (to us, for example) don't always know how to show their love, but that it can be expressed in the every day simple things. Does this mean I should cut a certain husband of mine some slack? ;)

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  2. I know what you mean.

    I love pride and prejudice and I love how Mr Darcy learns to show his love in the book.

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  3. Just some thoughts about LOVE. One of the best things I have learned about are the 5 Love Languages. The languages that help you to feel loved may be entirely different than the ones that they feel loved by. The was and is such a simple idea, but unless you learn about it, you may not really "get." If someone is trying to show you love with "THEIR" love language(which are the ones they know best or maybe all they really do know) and not "YOUR" love language, you are not going to feel loved even if they are "showing" you all the time.
    Go check this out if you have never heard of this: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

    There is even a link to several assessments to see what "Your" or Others' languages are: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

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