I think about the journey I have been on so far in life, school, motherhood, blogging, and I can only sit back and be amazed that I am still standing. This goes for nearly everyone I know as well. Each day that we pass through teaches us new things. Some days are difficult to choke down, some nearly choke us to death with tears, while some show us what joy is all about.
Most of my days have been absolutely peppered with stress and heartache-- for about four years now, yet I can still smile. I read blog posts, at least once a week, about people suffering with major illness or financial ruin or grief over some type of loss. We are all going through the fire that might refine us.
I am reminded of a section of the novel Crossed by Ally Condie as I ponder on the difficult journey we all are on right now. Ky and Indie are in the canyon. Indie asks him a personal question and Ky thinks to himself,
I don't want to answer but I can tell we're on the edge. It's as though she holds to the walls of the canyon. If I move wrong she will look over her shoulder, let go, and take her chances with the fall.This reminds me too much of the canyon walls I am climbing right now, except I am Ky and Indie put together. I see both sides and can place myself in either shoes.
I am on the edge of forever and cannot know whether I should take my chances with a fall or if what I am doing is actually hanging onto the walls because that is the way God will be able to bless me. If I move wrong, will I forever look over my shoulder?
Part of the answer comes after a bit of dialogue between these two characters.
I'm on the edge with her now. She knows it. I have to tell the truth if I'm going to keep her hanging on.I have crossed through canyons of life and am crossing one now. I am on an edge; He knows it; I must stay true if I am to hang on to the end.