Why I *DETEST* April Fools' Day

When I was a young girl, too young to know I should fear April 1st, I had a traumatic experience and it went something like this:

It was an ordinary morning, just like any other ordinary before school morning. Sleepy-eyed children sat around the breakfast table. Sunshine was beaming in through the windows onto them, warming their bodies and hearts. The little girl sat with her little brothers peacefully (they hadn't quite woke up just yet). She knew today was going to be a good day. Anticipation was rising for getting ready for school. Happy thoughts about playing with friends on the playground spun round and round. (She got to play with girls at school and this was a novelty to her still.) The whole eating food thing was not happening fast enough! Wiggling and ready to eat, the children poured bowls of cereal. Then, in turn, each heaped several scoops of sugar from the sugar bowl located in the center of the sunlit breakfast table. This sugar bowl was lovely. It made everything sweeter. It could even make Raisin Bran taste like something of a delight. The special sugar bowl spoon was beloved as well. It was different than the regular spoons and getting to use it meant life would be sweeter. Then, the peacefully warm, anticipating and wiggly children started to eat—each taking the biggest first bite with the most sugar on top to get that sweet loveliness onto their tongues as quickly as possible.

Then—shrieks of disbelief and spitting out of cereal anywhere and everywhere just to get that rotten, disgusting supposedly-sugar encrusted food out of their mouths filled the entire house. Crying and yelling and dastardly laughing mingled into one loud mess of a din. Mother tasted the girl's food and discovered the sugar to be salt, then tasted the sugar in the sugar bowl only to discover a prank had been pulled.

What is April Fools' Day anyway? The girl knew. She figured it out quick. It is the day when fools come out to make happy children cry and not trust that the lovely sugar bowl brings sweetness to life, proving to her and the world why they only get one day to bask in the light of their ignorance.

related links:

The Santa Conspiracy 

2 comments:

  1. You only hate April Fool's Day because you're too serious and can't take a joke! I love April Fool's Day BECAUSE of a prank pulled on my brother and I as children. My mother made mashed potatoes and put them in the vanilla ice cream bucket in the wee hours of the morning, unseen by the rest of the household. That night, we served up the "ice cream" liberally and topped it with chocolate syrup. The same reaction as in your household ensued. Oh, April Fool's how I love thee! Such great memories! ♥

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  2. I really detest April Fools Day, pranks are cruel

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