Confidence

Some people have it. Some people do not. But then there are people who have it sometimes and then not at other times. Most days, I am the confident type. The reason I say most days is because I am human, although I used to have so much confidence it was to a fault. Being overly confident in situations when you should have some reservations can be detrimental to relationships and future levels of confidence. I know this thing.

So anyways. I just wanted to say how NOT confident I am feeling today. I stand on the precipice of change and am ready to jump (I am actually most decidedly in the midst of an outright free fall), yet I do not know where I will land. Landing on my feet is something I expect, but how much more brokenness will I suffer in the process? When all you can think about is how much you need to be held, I think we can safely say confidence levels are significantly waning.

One thing that heartens me is that I have been given innumerable blessings to soften life's blows. Unexpected friendships--new and renewed--are my most valuable commodity at the moment. If I did not receive what I do from friends, I would not be able to keep going, temporally or emotionally. I am lifted and blessed by the gift of friendship on a daily basis without any exaggeration. I borrow from friends the confidence I lack until I realize what I should have seen in the first place. 

I am feeling low. Yet, I know things will work out somehow. We'll wait and see how it all pans out together.