no angel

I am not an angel, and yet I weep.
Through my endless tears I see things
Keeping me from smiling on the inside.
I stretch toward the sunlight
To warm my shrinking heart,
To keep myself from hiding at night
From the fears that have never been hushed
By reality's soft and quiet hand.

I am no angel.
I make things bad.
But not all the time.
Sometimes I deserve more.
I do.
I need more.
I deserve to be seen
Long enough and deeply enough
To be given what I need.
A hand outstretched
Just for me.
A heart to care for
Just for me.
A love to try
And stay
Just for me.

I need no angel.
I need real.
I need a best friend
Who will never leave
Who wants to stay with me
Never to be abandoned
To the elements ever again.
And still I weep

For all that could be
Until my love comes to me.