joy quest: affection

There are many ways to find affection. Some are better than others. Some are more appropriate than others. Some are perfect. We won't even discuss the perfect ones like hugs from your children, family, and friends. Those are perfect. What I will address is the type of affection that can only come from someone choosing you to be vulnerable with even if it's just for a one-time moment.

The past several years have been devoid of affection for me. I'd venture to say that genuine, generous affection—affection without high cost—has been absent from my life for nearly fifteen years.

And what do such depressing statistics have to do with a joy quest, you might ask. It has a whole lot to do with it! Like how I've realized how valuable affection is that I know I won't take it for granted ever again. I've been rejected so much by so many in so many ways. Not all bad ways, just matter-of-fact ways mostly. So when I get small tastes of this rare delight, a day here and a day there, I cherish it. I do want to add how affection as a single adult is playing in the big leagues though. Holy crap. I can hardly even open my mouth to say anything for fear of saying something that might mean something I don't mean thus causing trouble. It's sort of funny when you're not in the moment. Maybe.

The best thing about even a day's worth of affection is when your children recognize you deserve this special type of happiness and affection and are glad for you.

There's my bit of joy. Morsels of affection and approval. You know, that's actually a whole lot of joy. And I'm so thankful for it right now.


More about my joy quest: Joy Academy: My Quest for Joy