My Greatest Gift

 

What is your greatest gift? And why are you thankful for it? My greatest gift is my family—my children, my siblings, my future husband, my parents, my grandparents, my entire family tree. They make my life what it is. Without my ancestors paving the way to America, I would not be where I am nor have the American mentality that I do. Without my grandparents, I would not have the support and love I needed to grow in confidence as an adult. Without my parents, I literally would not be alive, but also I would not have some of my most needed traits like the fierce loyalty, love, and creativity that they instilled in me from a young age. Without my little brothers, I don't know who I would be even. That is a big statement, but it rings true as I think about how being their big sister, their only sister, has shaped my choices throughout my life—especially once our parents died. My role as the oldest in the family and a matriarch set upon me with more weight, and I still do not know what to do half of the time to fulfill what my parents would have me do, but I try. Every single day, I try to be the sister my brothers need. Without my children, I would feel as if I were living in a world where my dreams have not come true yet. I talked about having children since I was in high school as if I always knew I would be a mother someday, so it feels like I have been working on my most important calling in life as I grow into my role as a mother and friend for them. I am so thankful for all of my family. I have cousins who are like siblings to me. I have aunts and uncles who have filled in the holes of my heart where they are able. I have people who died long before I was born who made my life possible, and what a gift that all is. I can hardly contain the gratitude that wells up into my heart as I contemplate it all. 

Personal Revelation

When I consider how confusing society has become, I think first of how strong it makes me feel to be so sure about what is wrong and right. I rely on the spirit to direct my path daily as I face innumerable choices throughout my day, and I walk with confidence most of the time. I have my questions and problems and times of uncertainty, but as I take time to pray and rely upon my relationship with God, I find that the world gets a little easier to understand, and I can find my way. Prayer changes my perspective, my choices, and my future, and I am thankful to my parents for teaching me to pray and pointing me toward the gospel path. 
 

Home Sweet Home

 

I am grateful for my home, the place where I reside, the neighborhood and city in which I live, and the country that I have loved since I could say the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyone wants comfort, and my little piece of home gives me that. I feel safe where I live. I am able to move about without fear, and the people within my community are caring and mindful for the most part. Not everyone can say this about where they live; in fact, there is quite a lot of unrest, incivility, and even violence around the world, so when I think of how soft and warm and gentle my home is for me and my family, I cannot keep myself from thanking God for placing me where I am. 

Reaching Dreams

 

Not many people can say they have become what they wanted to be when they grow up, so whenever the topic arises, I feel a deep sense of gratitude. What am I grateful for exactly? I am grateful that I knew myself enough and have been true to her despite all the insane curveballs that I have faced. I cannot say I never felt like giving up. I cannot say that I am not in a writing drought of sorts. I cannot say that I love every single second of every single thing I do. But I can say that I stayed the course to get where I am as a teacher, writer, and editor. I can say that I still feel like I live a writerly life—a poet's life to be precise—so while I do not work on my next book but on the rare occasion, I do have a thread of it that I hold onto for dear life. And most importantly, I can say that I truly revel in and adore at least some part about each day that I work in each of the areas of who I am as a grown up. It is not glamorous to be what I have dreamed of since second grade (poet/writer)/high school (teacher)/editor (college), but it is fulfilling. To find such fulfillment in one's daily work is truly a gift, and I thank all the cheerleaders, supporters, blessings from God, and sheer willpower that have helped me to reach my dreams. 

Christmas Music

 

I was one of the people who made mixed tapes a thing, and the invention of playlists has been a dream come true for me. Such ease of mixing up the order and creating new playlists at the click of a button here and there. Like magic. Add that magic to the wonder and glory that Christmas music is, and you have yourself pure joy on your hands. Pure. Joy. Proof of this joy factor is how I have three Spotify Christmas playlists (so far), and I cultivate them a little each year. It has been five years since I began the practice, so they are getting really good if you ask me. The introductory playlist is called "Tinsel Christmas," and it has poppy, cheesy, oldie, and fun versions of the classic Christmas hymns plus man original song to add texture and an element of newness to the playlist. "Tinsel Christmas" is currently at a play time of 6 hours and 18 minutes with 97 songs. It could change though. The main body playlist that holds a grand mixture of fun and holy and covers and originals to match pretty much any mood but leans toward a gentler tone than that of "Tinsel Christmas" is entitled "Have Yourself a Lovely Little Christmas," which as  you might guess has several renditions of the song "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" to capture the overarching mood and tie it all together with a nice little bow. This middle playlist currently boasts 199 songs/hymns at a whopping 10 hours and 3 minutes of playing time, so if you want to just turn on one list and let it have its fun, this is the go-to playlist. And the final playlist that I love and save it for Sundays and the whole week of Christmas is "In the Christmas Spirit" to call attention to the reason for the season—Jesus Christ. This playlist is strictly sacred renditions of Christmas hymns and songs that are largely sourced from major choirs and other religious or community choral groups from around the world. "In the Christmas Spirit" has a playing time of 5 hours and 12 minutes with 94 songs as of the writing of this slice of gratitude. All three playlists are pointed toward Christmas music in many languages but mainly English, French, Spanish, and German since those are the languages I have experience with, but I delight in finding Christmas songs that are new to me, so I will add any song even if I do not understand a word of it (after at least reading over a translation once to see what the song means generally). I had a wonderful time over my Thanksgiving break cultivating these three glorious celebrations of Christmas music, and I am thankful that I could spend the time and begin my Christmas season so joyfully. 

Turkey

 

I read some crazy talk about turkey not being a good food to eat and people just eat it for Thanksgiving and Christmas out of tradition. I disagree. There is nothing quite like turkey golden baked just out of the oven, homemade turkey gravy, hot open-faced turkey sandwiches with leftovers piled on your plate,  and last but not least, turkey soup from scratch. These things are delicious, and I am thankful I grew up with a mom who made all these delicious foods, so I would like them and learn how to make them, so my children could know that turkey is most definitely something to be thankful for. 

Making Memories

 

As time flies by at an insane rate of speed, I catch myself being more and more cognizant of the value of memories, the ability to make ones you cherish and the ability to hold onto them. This Thanksgiving feels like the tail end of a tide that has been turning for several years, and I hope I can hold onto these last few strands of what I have known and loved before everything is completely different. I am not saying the new and different things are or will be bad because oftentimes change can be quite beneficial, but I am thankful for the good times I have had with my children and brothers. We have known a lot of hard times and hard things, but we have had a great deal of wonderful times where making memories felt easy and joyful. Those are the ones I am truly going to cherish and feel nothing but deep gratitude for. 

A Laundry List

 

Not sure where the saying came from, but I feel like Thanksgiving Day demands a laundry list of all I can think of to be thankful for in one quick burst. I am turning on a one-minute timer, and I will list every single thing that comes to mind in that one minute. Let us hope my typing skills don't fail me...

1. My children

2. The gospel of Jesus Christ

3. Christmastime

4. Good food

5. Clean water

6. Freedom

7. Travel

8. Friends

9. Joyful moments

10. Autumn

11. Christmas lights

Stopping at eleven feels lucky but also pretty short of a list, but time to think and to type made it interesting. I am thankful I can type pretty fast, or it would have been an even shorter list! 

And know that there are no favorites here—except for probably my children and Jesus. 

The Right Words

Ever have a rough day/week/month/year/decade, and someone comes along and really listens to you and you find peace for a moment and everything seems to be a little brighter and better? It is usually because they had just the right words at just the right moment when you were ready/needed to hear them. At least, that is what I have found. And I cannot find enough words to express how life-saving and life-changing recognizing this tiny miracle can be for a burdened heart. You feel seen and heard and understood and less broken. The right words are typically hard to find as we stumble over ourselves every day, but every once in awhile, the right words come, and it feels like a true gift. Every time this happens, whether I am the giver or the receiver of these right words, it does not matter. Right words heal. And gratitude overfloweth.

Enough

We go about our lives with so much help every single day, and I am just so thankful for every single pair hands that help to lift and bless me and my family in our daily tasks. We could get on without so much help, and we sure could use more help, but what we do have seems to be just the right amount to keep us going, and that is wonderful. It reminds me of the line Mary Poppins says in the old Disney film, "Enough is as good as a feast," and it holds true. I could not be more thankful for our just enough amount of help that we enjoy. 

wellness

Being well is something I pray for and thank God for regularly. After the pandemic and its aftermath of paranoia, political polarization, and mental fallout for many, I am much more conscious of how people perceive and deal with illness, and I just do not want to deal with all the control and weird judgment that happens. Being well is like a golden ticket to freedom of movement, thought, and mind, and I am extraordinarily grateful to be well right now…and I pray I stay that way. 

Good Food

It is not lost on me that not everyone has good food or enough food to eat and my family has both. Having enough and it being fresh and delicious keeps my heart at ease for myself and my children. The world has too many people going without for me to take for granted that we are able to have fresh fruits and vegetables, nice meats, cheeses, and breads, and refreshing drinks and other niceties just at the ready. I am thankful for my job and all other means that provide us what we need and like for our sustenance. It is a great comfort to me every single day. 

Time

 I was able to do some things that I needed to do today, and tomorrow promises to provide more of the same, and for that, I am exceedingly thankful. It is a rarity that I have enough time to truly clear some major things from my plate, and I just needed to give thanks that it happened. I have really needed a chance to catch my breath. So thankful for the time to do so. 

Santa

Not everyone has the opportunity to really wish that Santa is real and get to see how real he truly is. I am thankful in a weird way that I have been in low spots from time to time throughout my life that have shown me the love people can have for someone or a family they don't or hardly know just so that they can lift them in ways that only Santa can. It can feel truly miraculous on the receiving and the giving ends, both. I have a few cherished stories about the role Santa has played in my life, but there is not time to share them all here. Just know, I will believe in Santa for the rest of my life, and I hope you will too. 

My Book Club

Tomorrow night is the night when my book club gets together to vote on what we will be reading the following year. We loosely model it after the Jolabokaflod tradition with a book exchange, a gob of chocolate, and celebrate the eve of the official Christmas season one week before Thanksgiving. I love love love how fluid and structured and casual and formal it all is all at once. We talk about books and life and have about 1-5 conversations going at any point, and it is so good to me. I had a rough year with trying to get books read, but I always know that the book club is about connecting and sharing more than it is about finishing, I look forward with a thankful heart that I have been able to run a book club of my own. It feels meaningful and delightful to me, and I cannot wait to see what we read in 2024! 
 

Good (and even celestial ) Friends

 

When you are in school, you can never tell who will end up going the long haul with you through life. You make friends, you lose friends, you make one or two more, lose them, and rinse and repeat until you leave school forever one day. Your whole life actualy, you are sifting and being sifted through the friend pile that is ever changing, yet every once in awhile you realize that one or two stellar souls keep on sticking to you. Or maybe you stick to them. Or possibly you keep taking turns, and it all turns out to be this big parallel thing in your life where these one or two people seem to be running alongside you with eerily similar yet still distinctly different experiences, and you always seem to be helping each other. And it is in that helping and seeing and sticking to one another's sides that the friendship can truly be seen for what it is—a celestial intervention of sorts. And it is a reminder that we signed up to help each other along this joyous yet occasionally treacherous path called life, and there are in fact some people who stay the course for a really long time, and I am so thankful that I have been sent not one, not even only two, but a few of these good friends who I do not know what my life would look like without them running alongside me through the good, bad, and ugly. 

Teaching Writing

It has been a hot minute since I last let myself really write without restriction. I haven't really put any actual restrictions on my writing, but I also have not been giving myself room to breathe so that I can write, and that is almost the same as being grounded. That all said, the time I spend teaching my Creative Writing class provides me with that flicker of light I need to keep knowing that I am a writer. I am a poet. I am good at it too. I just don't know where to put the silence yet, so I can truly open up and write like I used to, and knowing that it is okay to not know all the answers causes me to feel deeply grateful. For now, mentoring young authors as they explore their creativity and my sporadic attempts to remind myself that I write too are enough. 

Lights All Aglow

 

I am not thankful that my Christmas tree we have had for like ever and a day has finally bit the dust, but in the disappointment and realization that yet another thing has broken and the list of broken household items is mounting to insurmountable levels, I realized that the years we have had this Christmas tree have been many, and I caught myself feeling thankful that it lasted as long as it did. In that moment of realization, my entire outlook changed, and I could see the many happy times we have had sitting around its lights all aglow with Christmas gifts piled beneath, and it made me a little sad and a whole lot grateful. I am also extra grateful that the stores are slashing the prices on Christmas trees leading up to Thanksgiving week, so I can get a replacement without having to eat ramen for a year—or two.  

Eating Like a King (Queen)

There is just something about eating out that makes me feel taken care of and lifted from my station. I think it has something to do with someone else doing all the work. And maybe part of it has to do with restaurant-quality ingredients too, but I am sticking with the someone else doing the work thing. It just makes a lot of sense. I am not grateful for how expensive it can get to eat out, but when you only go out every once in a blue moon, it is definitely a treat and something to be thankful for. The novelty of it is not wasted on me nor is the blessing of having a break from all the steps it takes to get food to the table and all the steps afterward of cleaning up. We had a nice time eating out for a few meals this weekend, and it provided a much needed break from reality for which I am truly thankful. 

Words, Words, Words

 

I just had the song "On the Street Where You Live" come into my mind from My Fair Lady when I was considering how I wanted to write about my gratitude for words. Eliza Dolittle sings "Words, words, words, I'm so sick of words," and all I can say is I am in complete opposition to her sentiments! I am thankful for good words, words that make you feel something important or valuable. I like the words I write, read, or that people teach me that make my life better, happier, holier, greater, fuller, and closer to God. I grow sick of bad, mean, or lying words. I will give Eliza that much, but I won't budge on al the rest. Words are wonderful! 

School Community

 

I am thankful for all the wonderful people I meet as a teacher. There are the students who are so fun (and even not so fun) who all teach me things, and that makes me grateful. There are the students' parents who are oftentimes thankful for me and all I do to teach, guide, and support their student in their journey of growing up and learning how to be, and I am thankful for every parent ever who sees what I give and appreciates my good work. And then, there are the teachers, staff, and administrators who could make or break my experience but always seem to make it, and they make it so good. I could never have planned on loving where I work so dearly. It is like a second home most of the time, and who could ask for more? (other than being independently wealthy and not having to work, am I right?). 

P.S. 

I don't even know what I did with that punctuation for the last sentence, but you get my drift…hopefully. 

What a Day

Good days do not have to look like rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes, a really good day is just giving your son a ride to school and still making it to work on time, making a few students genuinely laugh somehow probably by a miracle, eating really good snacks and lunch that your admin provided because they appreciate you every single day not just on an official teacher appreciation day once a year, reveling in nerdy English teacher stuff with your work bestie, eating tuna sandwiches and pork and beans because it is easy dinner and your special needs daughter is easy going and likes most anything, and finishing up with a Hallmark knock-off Christmas movie that wasn't too bad actually. That is what good days are made of, and I am thankful I took the time to see it, enjoy it, and not let the beauty of it all escape me. 
 

Autumn Appreciation Post

One of my favorite things about Gratitude Month is that it falls during fall or autumn, as I like to call it. Leaves changing colors and leaving their branches they have occupied all summer make me so joyful every time I see it or think of it. The loveliness of things gently traipsing off to sleep for the winter makes me smile. I adore it all. Sweater weather, crisp mornings, the fading of the light, shortening of days, and the promise of Christmas being just around the corner are all pure magic. I am thankful for the changing of the seasons in general, but the transition from summer to autumn makes my heart happy. 
 

taking care of me

The weekend flew by as per usual, but I did some things on purpose, with intention, to take care of myself. I get stressed out with so much responsibility resting on my shoulders, and it can get overwhelming at times even when I am taking care of myself. When this happens, I need to do a self-intervention and get in for a pedicure, manicure, massage, or all three. I had a counselor many years ago tell me that my mental health cannot afford for me to be cheap and not get these things done. For a little background knowledge, he asked me what are some things that help me to destress, and we made a list of things from at-home, in the car, and intervention level. And pedicures, manicures, and massages help to manage the physical aspect of my stress when things get to be too much. I am so thankful that I had a bit of time to take care of me. It made a big difference for me, so my gratitude is full right now. 
 

Early Christmas

About twelve years ago, I realized that the Christmas season slipped through my fingers a little too quickly for my taste once I was becoming a teacher (instead of a stay at home mom) and my children were all over the place in December. So that's when the tradition of decorating for Christmas on or just after Thanksgiving changed forever. And this weekend, I dug out all the boxes of Christmas Past and reminisced and gave thanks and smiled and shed a few tears as I look at where the time has gone. My last child will be celebrating his last Christmas as a child. And that has been a hard thing for me to face, but at the same time, I am so thankful for my planner self who always looks ahead to see what day needs to be seized. And this Christmas season is going to be seized to the hilt! All the magic and joy and love and remembering Jesus Christ's birth and infinite love for us will all be there starting now and probably go into the new year if I can work it out. I am thankful for all the chances I have had and am being given now this Christmas to celebrate early, so we can savor the time and make some happy memories. 

riding in cars with music

 I did not have my vehicle for a couple of weeks due to a minor yet expensive rear-ending that a teenager gifted me this past summer in a Barnes and Noble parking lot, and I got it back yesterday. So that means I have been driving around town running errands with the windows down, sunroof open, and and the sick beats bumping. And I love it. I felt so much energy and joy and comfort and pure gratitude to be in my own car feeling safe and happy. I even put on my sunglasses, so you know it was a really good day. 

Comfort and Love

 

Having a comfortable home is not something everyone has, but I am not grateful for mine just because it can be seen as a luxury. I am thankful for it because I know my home is something I have had to work for and beg for and fight for. I am reminded of the sacrifices of my parents and their parents and theirs to work at creating a home, and their examples to me make me grateful. They always maintained memories of the past, of family and comforts, so I maintain these things too, and it makes my home feel like a spot of heaven on the hard days when missing them gets to me. Whenever I have guests over who are visiting my home for the first time, many times, people say how comfortable my home is, and I cannot agree more or be more thankful that they feel the spirit of it all in one visit. They can see and feel the generations of love that surround me and my children within the walls that would be bare and empty without all that love. 

Ability and Lessons Learned

 

Being able to wake up each day to try again is something I have considered a true gift lately. The ability to take care of oneself and the responsibilities around you should never be taken for granted. I am certain that the different injuries and illnesses I have experienced over the past five years or so have contributed to my gratitude in this thing, but we really should not knock what teaches us good lessons. I am reminded of something one of my students said in class the other day about how even all the bad things are valuable and we should be glad of those too (or something to that effect), and I said out loud something like, "Uh I am 100 hundred percent not glad for a couple of bad things for sure," yet here I am agreeing with her. So I would have to say that for today I am thankful to be well and strong enough at least to take care of me and mine and concede that I might be a tiny bit thankful at least for what the hard-earned but helpful lessons that the bad stuff teaches me. 

Children and Water

Every time I stop to think about what I am thankful for, I think about my children and fresh running water. 

I always am so grateful to know I was able to become a mother, to be given the chance to try my hand at raising up good humans, and I feel like I am succeeding. No, I am not perfect at this mothering thing, but I do put forth great effort each day to love, learn, grow, and repent of the mistakes and wrongs that seem to be never-ending. Getting to know the people I helped to bring to the world has been a great joy in my life, even if it has also been pretty difficult too if you ask me! What I have found is for all the challenges, we also receive fresh chances to touch pure golden joy that washes over the rough spots of life, clearing away some of the bad. I know this happened with my parents and me, so as I think of my children, I know that the time we spend working to know and love each other will become a beautiful gift despite all the hard things we experience along the way, and I am so thankful for this chance I get to try. 

songs on a breeze

There was a song that floated in on the breeze

Singing of softness and simple things

A fire and some stones to sit around and sing

A window pane telling stories of work and sensitivity

This song has chords, here and there, 

That speak of things that are not soft, 

But they always melt back into harmonious delight

Of lovingkindness and thoughtfulness fair 

The breeze brings with it memories 

And shining eyes with joy and tears

Through to the end, it wraps the notes 

In gentlest of tones that float across the years

Forgetting all the times of pounding out 

The notes on unforgiving keys

Writing a melody with words 

That go unsung 

Who will take these notes that look like words

And give them space and time, allowing them to sing

And bring a lighter, brighter sound

A happier charm, replacing the beating of the drums

Teach me a song I can trust and carry with me

In my heart and on my sleeve

No matter where I am or where I go, 

To show me love is what I know

This sweetness grows on me like moss

So softly hanging on the edge of a pond

I never knew I could touch such pure simplicity 

By caring for these precious souls 

Who offer me each passing day

A smile and care-laced questions

Each day is gained a mutual trust

Respect, and happiness in every song I see. 

 

these lines

The lines keep writing across her fading skin

The stories that she lives

The words keep being tattooed across her waning heart

As it slows while she lives

The gifts she has are tucked inside 

With the hopes she once would say

But the lines are all fading now

And the words are losing 

Their fire

buried

buried in dishes 

completely unromantic

unclaimed destiny 

glowing

glowing up this lane

reinventing ourselves now

forgetting the old 

about time

I don't know where I went wrong 

Most of the time

I can't seem to get things right 

Most of the time

I won't take the chance

Some of the time

I can't see down the road

All the time 

 

about life

The palms of her hands are still soft 

Though she works at life like a 

Field hand with no rest 

The whites of her eyes are still dry

Though she cries on the inside about life like 

Someone who has been punched in the gut

The strength of her mind is still sharp

Though she cannot hold life's memories like an

Old woman with nowhere she knows is home

dull

My pencil tip has been too used. 

It is dull and cannot find more words to muse.

The days are long and tiresome

Like the last bits of writing that come

From the last nub of a pencil, almost all used. 

sanctity well worn

Sanctity well worn

Fading flower left to die

Fighting against night

clouds stroll by

Crawling across the sky with not a care in the world

These gorgeous, daring clouds stroll by like a pretty girl

Floating like cotton candy without its paper stick 

These pillowy, billowy clouds are purely photogenic

Such loveliness and comfort, like a blanket for the air

These blue and pink and white piles of clouds laid bare

These clouds go by soaking up some warmly lit sun, having a bit of fun

springtime fait accompli

Guide me to the garden path that's strewn with roses wild

Take me to the pathway's hedge laden with fragrance mild

Stand with me in the archway, holding our dreams with the golden honeysuckle strands

Grow with me in the sunlight, reaching for love like happy violets holding hands

Wake me if you must from this sweet springtime reverie

But let it last while it can, for its assured end must be a fait accompli 

song of the lamppost man

We did not always need you—before the street lamps came to be

But once we saw the light at night, we decided that created a job must be

You did you work with precision—on the dot with help from your clock

You brought out the light on time to rise like suns with your ladder and pole

And returned again at close of night to let the authentic sun take its turn

You lent us security in the darkest part each night

You offered up a change for extra time to play or even fight

Yet as time passed, we found new ways to always have our night be day

And we do not need you anymore; you're written out in a thankless way

But when we perchance walk home at night, we feel your sacrifice

And cherish all the light

burnt out

Ground up pieces of old kindling memories

Sitting, almost waiting, in an old tin can 

With not much more than worn out niceties

Pushing persistently against this worn out plan

A plan to always be that forever friend

A person to lean on and never pretend

That something can come from nothing 

Although nothing has come from something—

And the fire is nearly out. 

shine!

Shine out! Shine out—you glorious fool!

Remember! Remember! Do not forget who you are—

A queen or a king, triumphant supreme!

You, yes, you are a treasure and beam!

Your light is bright. Your worth divine. 

Give to the world the light that you shine. 

Give glory and goodness with your story sublime. 

Let your words shine as they pour onto each line. 

black and white delight

black and white delight

facing stark reality

guiding truth remains 

rain

I hear it patter-pitter-pattering across the glass and landscape 

Below and besides and oftentimes 

The soothing quality is lost in the heaviness

Of the pressure system that surrounds every nerve 

Across our skin and sends signals that confuse 

Or delight depending on the day, the mood, the circumstance

But always pressure on all sides 

When it could be different—

It could be soothing loveliness that blesses, not divides

It could be light and bright refreshment found 

When the sounds come patter-patter-pittering across the glass

So gentle and kind like the caress of droplets on roses 

The refreshing caressing blessing of rain in spring 

she brang joy

She did it. 

She lived to care for her own. 

She lived to watch over many. 

She tried. 

She sacrificed. 

She cried. 

She sang and gave

And brang the joy 

Of God to life. 

She made sunshine out of rain—

Made something out of nothing—

Fearless warrior woman, mother saint

Dedicated to Frances Trotter. 

make it make sense

Wonder is a wonderful thing except for when it paralyzes. 

Who wants to not be able to move or choose or do what needs to be done? 

No one, that's who. 

Yet here we are. 

We are, day after day, pushing against the paralyzing indecision. 

We wonder too much about how we will be okay without doing much about it. 

We strive and try and cry and do things to feel alive. 

Yet here we are. 

What is this life but a series of questions gone unanswered? 

Until—one day—something happens. 

Something good and unexpected but expected at the same time. 

We are ready for it all, all the joy and pain, and how it now makes sense. 

Almost. 

dreams on a stone shelf

Dreams on a stone shelf

Indescribable sorrow

Hope greets tomorrow

this road

Where can I find the peace I seek as I wander on this lonely road 

This road with no end in sight that has taken my whole heart to traverse

To bravely traverse the ups and downs, the hills and valleys, has been my life's work

My whole life's work seems never-ending like this road that breaks me down into pieces

Into ground down pieces of humility and hope, I find myself broken and shaped for more

For much more am I destined, and my soul understands where I can go for peace

For the peace I need is in my faith and hope and charity that leads me on toward Heaven