courageous

I just had a thought
Run clear across my mind
So quickly yet deeply
That I don't know what to feel.

I will never be as perfect looking
As all those you'll ever meet,
And you shall never find me
Ready or ever wanting to compete.

I catch myself wondering
If those roaming eyes of yours
Might open up and want to taste
How precious this love can be.

From afar we feel together
With the blooming pleasure
Of beloved exploration
Transporting us nearer still.

Actions spiked with adoration
Coupled with discordant communication
Show my blinded eyes that I do not know
Where I stand within that enigmatic heart.

Nurturing sweet love
With ink and postage
Sending more than things
To travel by road and skyway.

Warning given though not taken
Without asking, I give affection.
You tell me one thing
Yet elicit another.

And all I remember now
Is how my flaws
Are so many
And distance is great.

I opened up this broken heart
To someone who didn't want it.
And yet the sense that you do,
That you need me, is still present.

You kindly reject, and I ignore
In a tangled dance of sorts
Because this heart
Knows your heart

And never wants to admit
That you might never
Find the courage
To love only imperfect me.

Consequently, you will have to be
The one to choose for me which one:
The exit door or deeper in to the us that I perceive
Because I don't have the courage to love you any less.