holidays and funerals

I do not recommend allowing grief to get in the way of truly evaluating all that is on the calendar when planning a funeral. It's so important to connect the dots as far as other recurring occasions such as national holidays, etc., or you'll forever be reminded of what you did that holiday that one time when your mom died unexpectedly.

I've worked hard the last few years to learn to enjoy St. Patrick's Day again. I used to really enjoy pinching people, you know. I made a concerted effort this past year by sending my children a very fancy treat package to be delivered on the holiday to add to the excitement—not just wearing green and hoping people can't tell I'm thinking about the day we buried my mother. I have even stopped talking about it so much (and then here I am talking about it!). We aren't even Irish at all—I don't think. However, I grew up celebrating the Irish in this small way, and I believe it is a wonderful American tradition.

I also want you all to know that I don't feel any terrible pangs of sadness either. It's just really, really sad to always be reminded of it. To remember and then choose to let it go.

So anyway. Back to my point. The pro tip I have to offer: Do not plan a funeral on a holiday—no matter how minor it may seem—because you'll forever be reminded of one of the saddest days of your life no matter how much you heal.