Laura and Oscar: The Complete Series

Now that the Laura and Oscar series is finished, I'd like to offer you a one-stop shop for your reading pleasure. Writing these memories was an amazing adventure, and I hope you enjoy reading it even just half as much as I did while writing it with my dear friend and writing accomplice, Oscar.

So, without any further ado, I give you:

Laura and Oscar: The Complete Series

Week 1: Who said you can't find love in junior high? -- A Beautiful Beginning
Week 2: A Beautiful Beginning
Week 3: Adventures in Falling
Week 4: Summer -- Electric Night
Week 5: Summer -- Sentimentality
Week 6: Kissing
Week 7: Kissing continued OR A Moment Before It Ends
Week 8: The High School Years -- Blondes and Bleachers
Week 9: Blondes and Bleachers
Week 10: High School
Week 11: Sweet 16
Week 12: Grown Up and Moved On -- A Crossroads
Week 13: A Crossroads
Week 14: A Crossroads
Week 15: A Crossroads
Week 16: Lessons Learned

pure salt

I cracked the shell myself
And poured salt into those holes
With no help
I did it all myself
Wishful and romantical
Nonsense
Breaking through all the doors
I built with strong locks
Only to give away the key
So quickly
I gave it brazenly
No requests were made
I gave it all
On my own accord
I broke my own heart
There are no victims here
Why even have locks
When you'll open the door
To a known wolf
Why run
When you won't hide
When will you be safe
From your very own self
Maybe never
Maybe you like
Salted wounds, tears
Because that's what you know.

a bubble

I know it will take a lot
But I dare you to try
To set aside the sad
Set aside the angry
and broken up feelings
That drive you mad
And come away with me
Into a bubble of peace
Join me for a moment
Of pure simplicity
Where none of it matters
Where no one
Not even ourselves
Can hurt our hearts more
Or tell us what to think
Or say or feel or do
Come talk with me
In my bubble castle
I've imagined up
For you and me.

no regrets

We live our lives out with every breath we take, yet do we really live?
Do we take advantage of every opportunity possible to show we care to those that need it most?
Do we seize the day as much as is in our power in order to live with no regrets?

I think about these things today and many days. They are a gauge for myself when I am in a rut and not seeing how to make better use of my opportunities. The most pressing of them all is making sure the best that I can to not live with regret. I've done it, and it hurts so much once regret greets you at it's closed, locked door.

Time cannot be brought back, so before it slips through our fingers, we must grasp onto it tightly and live.

Chores

I was responsible for chores alright. My brothers and I were made to rotate responsibilities, so at some point in my childhood I had done every household chore you can think of at least a million times--or so my childish memory recalls. I can't say I actually enjoyed any one chore though. It never came (comes) natural to me, and I never got (get) into a "cleaning mood" like some of my friends. It was (is) a necessary evil, and that's it. However, my first job I worked at taught me to enjoy one chore, and I still go to it first to this day.

Vacuuming.

I worked at Miller's Outpost. And yeah, they don't exist anymore, so that pretty much dates me to high heaven. So anyways, I worked in the Miller's Outpost in the mall, and at nighttime, we had to vacuum the entire store from wall to wall. Since I had zip training in counting down a cash register drawer, I usually got stuck with the vacuuming and straightening any messed up racks. After a couple weeks of this routine, I found that it was relaxing to pace back and forth across the floor with the hum of the vacuum surrounding my thoughts.

Not to say that I love any chore, but vacuuming is my go to when it's time to get busy on keeping the house in order.

In one word, I shall tell you the chore I have always never "enjoyed": Laundry. End of story.

 

Laura and Oscar: Week 16

Lessons Learned

Thinking back now, I really ought to blame (I mean thank) Oscar for my shameless lack of game-playing skills. This boy instilled in me an expectation for genuine and unaffected honesty in a relationship because he accepted me as I was and loved me in his young, immature ways so perfectly. I completely believed we would be together forever. (Now just stop laughing, ok. Since growing up, I do realize that all girls thought this of their first boyfriend but that does not mean my experience was not truly authentic.)

These memories are not in perfect sequential order, yet somehow it feels good that they aren’t. As I encountered each enchanting layer of remembrance individually and unconnected, it brought with it a newfound awe and wonder, and time stood still for a few short moments. You must know--this sort of love transcends time. There is no way to put a cap on it or tie it down to one particular moment. I see now how it has been a seed of joy planted in my heart which took root and has never died because I nourished it with fond recollection and genuine heartfelt appreciation.  In hindsight, I must admit he entered my heart and never left. I recognize it as an undeniable fact I was blind to. Sometimes we can not/should not see what is hidden because it would damage our present lives too much to allow ourselves to feel into the realm of impossibility. Yet, sometimes, when time offers us a crossroads that realm is transformed into something else--something beyond description. Call it what you will.  

One challenging aspect to meeting your potential soulmate in junior high is that if you don’t stay together, you probably will take such different routes along your life paths that you will never be able to reconnect romantically again.  To love someone so deeply without the ability to do anything with it hurts, and it hurts forever.  There is genuine gladness in the other’s successes and compassion in their pain, but to never be able to touch again--like they once did--requires so much love that it must be able to consume the disappointment.  

Without a doubt,  it has been a small price to pay to have loved and been loved so well no matter how short its duration.

Related links:

more than you know 

a desert beauty
 

impossible kiss

Enchanted with you by the magic of friendship
I expose myself as I inelegantly trip
Through an arid roomful of unspoken deliciousness
And you swiftly break the fashioned silence
With a uniquely warm boyishness
Making it all appear as pure innocence
A hidden delight and a charm
Is what I've found beneath your surface
A darling, brave heart that disarms
With kind gestures and flirtatious chase
You put me at ease at once with your quips
As I skirt around the daydream of your lips

PURPLE: an acrostic poem

Possesive by nature; taking hold of people's hearts
Undeniable versatility that climbs off the charts
Royal and ravishing whether soft, bright, deep, or plain
Perfection so perfectly perfect it incites jealousy and disdain
Luxuriant delight permeates every tint and hue
Encompassing not only color but moments both red and blue