Where did you go, Love?
I cannot face the truth of when I lost sight of you—
When you just let go of my hand.
It all happened so suddenly, in a breath really
As I stood there watching you choose
Every person, place, and thing other than me.
I saw you let go; I felt your devotion leave.
What happened to your promises? Where did you wander, Love?
I hope you find your heart, Love.
I hope you find your way home—to me.
Heartbeats beating down the door
As the clock tick-tock-ticks
And monkeys are jumping on their beds
Then the calendar keeps running its mouth
And letting her little monkeys out
They are running, climbing every tree in sight
She stands in awe, a witness
As she greets the growing distance
With those little monkeys learning to be free
Learning how to leap and how to land
Heartstrings stretching toward the hard won light
Of the tangled up jungle of adult life
And watching eternity unfold before her
Heartbeats beating as she watches her little monkeys
Swing from tree to tree—what a delight
Hold fast to love, my friends.
Hold fast to the dreams you dare to muster.
Hold fast to your tenacity.
Hold fast to faith and devotion.
Hold fast to truth and nurturing.
Hold fast to joy, kindness, and innocent hope.
Hold fast to holding out for what you deserve.
Hold fast to thoughts of eternity.
Hold fast to love, my friends.
I forgot to write it all down
The thing I wanted to remember
That one time I had a lot of fun
That time I made a lot of friends
That time I learned an important lesson
And I think I recall falling
A little bit in love
With a memory
That I forgot
Because I forgot to write
It all down on paper
So time has taken ahold of
Things and managed to
Lose it all because
I forgot to write it all down—
And I wish I could remember.
You are my light that keeps
me in the fight.
You lift my burden when
life is uncertain.
Your love brings me home when
I am alone.
Your strength gives me hope when
I cannot cope.
The Garden, the tears, the nails—
All bring me to my knees in
prayer, faith, and humility.
The elephant in the room is
How did everyone even get here.
And I will tell you—
It was on a triple dog dare.
She couldn't help but say it,
"Yeah, I'll take the TRIPLE DOG DARE;
I'm not scared!"
But when the squeals and laughter
And the rampaging of pelican girls
Came into sight,
Threatening to swallow her up,
all she could think now was,
"Maybe I don't want to be here;
Maybe I am scared…"
Where has the time gone?
The days and weeks and years
Slipping by with frightening speed.
Children one minute; gone the next.
One, two, three, then snap—
Everything has changed again,
And all there is to do is wonder
How it all could go by so fast—
Even autopilot offers some adventure.
Once upon a time, I read or wrote (I do not know)
"Anything we do in excess can keep us from
Doing the most important things
For our eternal salvation."
I found these several yet succinct strings of words
Too true. Ever true. A set of whispers from the past
Telling me how to make it out alive better than I thought—
Finding strength in moderation.
I believe in goodness
That lifts us when we're down.
I believe in joy
That teaches it's alright to frown.
I believe that everything
That shows us who God is
Can lift and teach and bless us
When we least expect it.
Beautifully breathless butterfly,
Why do you fly from me?
Songs that softly and gently sing,
Why do you fly to me?
Dancing, leaping, longing,
Why do you fly in time,
You delicate, darling flower
Caught in an unrelenting breeze?
So lovely and fine,
You invite me and entice me
To breathe, sing, and dance
In the charm of your sweet melody
Of fragrance fine.
Sweetest, dearest heart—
Allow your light within to dispel the dark.
Let your song of goodness create a new sound.
Discover purity of the divine
As you fly, sing, and try.
With bandaged heart,
I take the mirror,
Crashed and broken,
Searching my reflection
In every shard of glass,
and the question,
"Will I ever be recovered enough?"
Begins knocking around in my head.
The shards become reflections
Of him and me
Offering a certain quality
To the demanded answer—yes.
I believe in God
Who is my Father true.
I believe He made a plan
To guide me and you.
I believe the world is where
I will find my treasure
When I seek in faith and love
Without measure.
No one typically chooses brown to describe autumntime,
But there is so much to say about a color that holds so much inside
That it lets the other colors shine.
The colors of the sun,
As it fades at summer's end—
Yellow, red, and orange are hidden in brown.
Dandelions and leaves—
In autumn at its start—
Are yellow hidden in brown.
Pomegranates and the blush
On gala apples in autumn
Are the red hidden in brown.
Pumpkin patches and dusky sunlight
Reflecting on lake glass
Are the orange hidden in brown.
Fields of turned over soil ready for winter's rest
And an old farm truck rusting where it rests
Are the brown in autumn
That no one thinks to revel in
Like piles of drying leaves
Strewn on top of summer's grass.
Where did you go, my dear, my darling friend?
Are you lost going to and fro in the dark, dark night?
I never thought there could be an absolute end,
From sharing one heart to this deafening dark washed out in blinding light.
Your love's loss takes my breath and bites
With a sharpness I can hardly stand;
I can only think to stand and fight
For the chance to once again have you hold my hand,
My friend, the owner of the love I never planned
To give away so freely and for eternity,
That light at the end of the tunnel was a contraband
That we never paid the toll on for our steadfast amity.
Where have you gone?
I have stood here too long.
The future is bright, they say.
Opportunity is knocking, they say.
You have the world at your feet, they say.
Good things come to those who wait, they say.
And so they say so many things, but all I can think is
Trepidation is biting at my heels
Like a rabid chihuahua,
And I really just need the loud, crowded voices to quiet down
And show me the way to where
I should head as I find my way
Into the hopefully bright
Yet unknown,
Hopefully successful
Yet who knows anything anymore
Except for them
Future.
While I was waiting, I saw
Children growing,
Children learning,
Children playing.
While I was waiting, I saw
Friends loving and sharing,
Neighbors giving and caring,
Family connecting and forgiving.
While I was waiting, I saw
Laid out before me,
One day at a time,
Pieces of forever
Beneath the surface lie things
No one would want to see
The grief, sorrow, and pain
That never seem to melt away
But sink into the depths of time
Through days, years, and generations
And we find in the depths the
Grief, sorrow, and pain
Are part of all the joy, love, and faith
That always seem to stay
And play in the depths
With the heartstrings
At the turns, every one,
She sighs.
She knows too well what is to come,
And the only thing to do
Is sigh.
Life and lights and highs
And lows
Corners and bends
And blows
At every turn,
All she can do
Is sigh.
Words can bite and sting and cut
Like any terrible thing,
Yet we keep writing them,
Saying them, thinking them—
Repeating them—
Until we learn to only
Write, say, think, and repeat
The things we hope can
Heal and help and keep
The love safe that we always
Want to give but somehow
Can't find the words
Light that glimmers on the heart
That cuts through glass and leaves
A mark that breaks memories in half
And proves that hard things can
Be beautiful.
I never got to really know her before she went Home.
She was dynamic and wonderful even before I began to realize
How she had a life separate and apart—and long before
She became a mother.
Music and language were part of her heart before
She ever knew me.
The way she brought life to a party before
Anyone ever showed up—and long after.
Never before did I truly see how in everything she did
She made everything so good.
