Easter Morn

Light and life and all 

Given by One who loves us

Sacrifice divine

baby, it's cold

There are two songs claiming to be Christmas songs that I detest. One of them is "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and the other we shall save for another Christmastime rant. I never liked that song even before all the controversial analyzation of it. There are people weighing in all over the place, so I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe if I write about it, I can set it on the shelf and forget about a song that has always grated on my nerves.

I've read a couple of articles bashing it and a couple of articles defending it by means of the cultural context of the sayings that are being railed against. None of the articles, however, address the issue with it not being a Christmas song in the least.

As soon as I could understand the words, I was like, Huh? How does messing around and pretending to be or actually becoming incoherently inebriated have anything to do with Christmas? Seriously, I don't get it. Maybe people do those things extra around Christmas? But the thing is it is not about Christmas.

The meaning of Christmas is about the celebration of Christ's birth and the many good things he exemplified in his life, so we can make our feeble attempts to be more like Him. To me, that's the essence of Christmas. Many people who aren't Christian even participate because of the goodwill and kindness that it provokes within our communities. Then some people might pose the flimsy argument about the pagan origins of some traditions, etc., but that's not what any Christian has celebrated at Christmastime in two or three hundred years. If what I do to celebrate Christ were meant for pagan motivations, I would stop doing them. So don't even start with me. My intent at Christmastime is entirely focused on showing love for my fellow man and to honor my God and His Son with more fervor.

Yes, the song about being cold outside, but that doesn't make it about Christmas. If we're going to cut to the chase, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is more like a song about two people giving in to temptation and making excuses for their behavior and blaming the weather instead of being honest about feelings or circumstances. All I can hope is that I don't have to switch the radio station as often because it's not coming on anymore.

what easter means to me

Baskets with plastic grass and matching dresses

Fancy hats, white gloves, and lacy bobby socks

Boiled eggs and treats galore, family togetherness

Is this what Easter means to me? 

Worship with words and praise through songs

Scriptures by the apostles of old

Thoughts of the Garden and the Cross

Is this what Easter means to me?

Remembering each wound I caused

Considering the heartaches He healed

Partaking of His infinite Atonement

Is this what Easter means to me?

His birth

His life

His death

Is this what Easter means to me? 

Agony and pain

Three days of mourning the Son

Mists of darkness to be overcome

Is this what Easter means to me? 

An angel and an empty tomb

Mary, the first to witness and attest

Disciples one by one

Is this what Easter means to me? 

My Savior, your Savior

Rising triumphant from that grave

Proving to the world that God's love will overcome

The sun will shine on all with care

We too will rise in the light of God's grace

His joy is our joy when all is done

All of it is what Easter means to me. 

Christmas Songs: week four

Last but not least, I have found a song to be dedicated to my oldest yet youngest child, my child who has severe autism.

Her song is "Silent Night."

Christmas Songs: week three

This week is a little more difficult for me to write. I have struggled to choose a song to dedicate to my youngest boy. He's so easygoing and likes so many things equally that I am not sure. One song stands out although it is only because he was making fun of me for liking it.

Christmas Songs: week two

Seeing as this is Week Two, you might want to catch Week One if you missed it . . .

For this week's song, I want to dedicate "Last Christmas" by Wham! And so you know, that exclamation mark was forced on me. Why do bands even use punctuation anyway? Seriously. But I digress . . .

Christmas Songs: week one

This Christmas, I want to dedicate a song to each one of my children. The reasoning behind the dedications will be different and as unique as each of them. I hope you enjoy it.

Two things inspired this series. The first is "Feliz Navidad" by José Feliciano, and the second is my little son who is not so little anymore.

Christmastime

The best part about Christmastime is that you can begin celebrating it anytime you like.

If you think about it, Christian believers who are living the gospel actually celebrate Jesus year round. Right? So I don't quite understand what the big problem is with busting out the sparkling lights and other decorations in November to get things off to an early start.

Since getting divorced, I realized that our Christmas celebrations seemed rushed and went by too quickly. So last year, I began doing things a little differently—we started our Christmastime November 1. My children thought it was crazy at first, but when December 25 finally came around, they felt like we had a wonderful Christmas, fully enjoyed and not so rushed through.

The first thing is to decorate. What is so fabulous about doing decorating early is that you can ease into it, only doing a bit here and there until it's all complete. And you are finished by the time Christmas events and parties start up. There's no rush to get the tree done because it is done. And you've had time to truly savor the memories and stories and decorations.

We have been able to focus more on Christ's birth instead of all the hustle and bustle of the "holiday season."

With every other weekend gone with their father, we still can do all the fun things, watching Christmas movies, baking treats, sledding, going to Christmas concerts, and we have energy for it now instead of feeling a strange sort of burnout from rushing around too much.

We kicked off our Christmastime this past week with putting up our Candy Cane Forest and then watching Elf last night while we had Chinese food my oldest son bought for us. We even snuck in some Christmas music and a little service to a friend and her family before getting our dinner and treats for the night. It made my night to have all of my children together to begin our Christmas season.

I look forward to every single day for the next month and half until the new year begins. Christmastime makes the ending of another year absolutely magical.

an open letter for single moms

Dear Single Mom Self (and other single moms),

You cannot do it all. No matter what anybody says, you are not simply making excuses. The things you can actually accomplish are a far cry from the mom who has a supportive husband. Life looks different for you. And that's okay. 

There will be times when people might point out how this famous person or that had a single mom and all it took was determination, drive, blah blah blah to make it big and find success, but I would like to just say be quiet, leave me alone, stop guilt tripping my already jacked overachiever self. No one can know how long it has taken to let go of so many things you used to do or wish for but had to release in order to stay sane. No one can do it all. 

Statistics on how many people have their crap together hardcore after going through what we have would help me out too. 

And another thing. It's okay to want more. Just don't ever get down on yourself or think that somehow you could have done more when the facts are you are doing your best. 

You shine. You make things happen. You are lovable and needed. Just because no one wants to stay does not mean you aren't worth staying for. Someday, someone will show you that you're worth it, but until then, remember that each family has its struggles and successes, and your family is lucky to have such a beautifully dedicated mother to teach, lead, and guide them. Your children are wonderful, and there's no better honor than to be the mother of such caring, helpful, and thoughtful children.

You are amazing! Buy yourself flowers and chocolate.

Happy Mother's Day! 

Sincerely, 

Me

celebrate and believe

Easter. A time of year when all of Christianity rejoices in the glory of the atonement and the miracle of the resurrection. I rejoice in these things. 

Without the atonement of Christ I would be a condemned soul, and the condemnation would come from myself because I would feel so hopeless in ever being able to overcome my many faults and shortcomings. Aren't we all our own worst critic? Yes. Who do we forgive first--ourselves? Never. I have learned to forgive myself better, but it is a general struggle with us humans. We want to see the best in others, but we are our own worst critics. With Jesus having suffered for all our mistakes and even our afflictions, I recognize the miracle and try to let go of guilt as I repent and work to improve myself. 

Not everyone in the world celebrates Easter. Not everyone believes in Christ. But I believe and I celebrate because with Christ, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Brother, and my Friend, I can overcome all sorrow, suffering, and sin. By his loving grace, I can live forever in glory instead of guilt. I can live forever with those I love. I can be who I am intended to become. 

making it last

Kicking off Christmas early during the week of Thanksgiving has made for a wonderful Christmastime for me. My children met friends and family whom I cherish, and we spent time with them doing and seeing things we never have before. The time we shared was split with people who made us feel loved and welcome and some who set the stage for us to feel decidedly unwelcome. There was no in between. And while it felt bad to be ill treated, I'm glad for the experience. My children were able to see quite blatantly how to treat guests—whether they are family or friends. The experience added to our ability to appreciate the gladness that we do share with others, creating space for us to feel the spirit of Christmas all the more.

Another way we've made Christmas last a little longer is going to see Christmas lights a couple more times than normal, and taking pictures with our little Santa Claus doll has been a very fun time indeed. I can't forget how we have watched all of our Christmas movies together too. 

The one thing that hasn't happened yet this year, and it probably needs to happen tomorrow night or it won't is going caroling. The attrition rate around here for willing carolers is high, and I think it might be the end of that era for at least a while if not for always. And I'm sad about it. I don't know if I should make my children go because they will appreciate it later, or if I should just hang it up, and let it go. Rest assured, I've listened to every Christmas CD I own, bought more Christmas music files, and I've been creating a playlist that will hopefully be complete before Christmas. I'm not lacking in Christmas music, but I sure am lacking in the rejoicing in caroling to neighbors tradition I enjoy so much. 

No matter what, I have felt loved this year. I hope I've helped others to feel loved. And I am filled with joy that it is Christmas this week! 

stand amazed

As I reflect on this Christmas season and those of years past, joy, love, and gratitude are the hallmarks. 

The years have dragged me along while also flying past, and my heart is filled with gratitude for it all. To learn and grow so deeply has been a painful experience nevertheless I give thanks to Heavenly Father for keeping watch over me and my family through every trial. We have been watched over with a most tender hand. 

Love permeates my thoughts as they turn to the people who surround me now and at every point that I stood in need of love and they were there. Whether intentional or not, many people have been the Lord's hands in loving and protecting us. I have been loved even when I could not see how anyone would or could ever care about me. Friends have made time for me when I needed to not be left alone; they have sacrificed family time and happier friend time to help me through my dark days. Every time I stop to ponder what has happened in my life over the past several years, amazement washes over my heart, and I can hardly keep from weeping with joy and gratitude for the miracle that has been my life. It gives me hope for the future, that it will continue being a miraculous journey of love and joy. 

With Christmas upon us, I tie all of it together to honor the Christ Child who was born, shared the gospel with the world, atoned for all that we have done—our mistakes, sins, sufferings of body, heart, and soul—only to be crucified. But he overcame death. And that is how we have Christmas to celebrate. The love and joy that we sometimes take for granted comes to us by the grace of God and through the light of Christ within each of us. 

While it is not a traditional Christmas song, the hymn "I Stand All Amazed" has always been one that resonates with me. I especially think of the second verse at this time: 

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine 

To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,

That he should extend his great love unto such as I,

Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

My hope and prayer is that the light of Christ will brighten your Christmas and that you will feel God's love for you no matter where you are, no matter what is happening in your life, whether or not you fully recognize His divinity.

Let's stand amazed and neither forget nor take for granted the gift of Christ's birth. He lived, atoned, and died for us all that we might live again and be with God and our families for eternity.

Happy Christmas to all!

freedom is mine

To be so free has been a dream
Yet it was always here
Waiting for when I awake
From the bondage
I allowed to keep me
From what I was born to

Born to be free
To love
And be loved
Free to choose
Happiness over strife
Free to be myself
And to surround
Myself with people
Who care just as much

chocolate makes everything better

The past few weeks have been rough. I've been sick with a terrible cough the entire time, and there have been some pretty serious setbacks in my personal life. Staying downhearted isn't a preferred option for me, but with being forced to rest so much and having rugs taken out from underneath me, I must admit I've struggled with being positive. I've cried a few tears and gone through bouts of "quiet." However, all the while, I have had love and encouragement coming at me from all sides.

Friends, family, neighbors, readers, and kind service workers (of all random people to be grateful to) have been completely wonderful. I've been brought dinner and health supplements, taken on drives, gone for ice cream and a good talk (while ignoring my hacking cough) for a mini Girls Night Out, called "love" twice by the service worker, listened to while I cry and cough, and entertained with texts, movies, and good company. Throughout my most difficult times, surges of lovingkindness always come at me, yet I am always surprised by it all. And sometimes I get really surprised.

I haven't told anyone this, until now, but Mother's Day has become an extra stressful situation for me the past few years. My children always make a lovely effort to show their love and appreciation for me, but without someone other than myself to help them, they get anxious about it all. So, of course, I start fretting about their fretting about two weeks prior to the holiday. This revelation means that I have not only been sick, tired, and dealing with stupid stuff, but I've also been worrying over something that is supposed to bring me joy.

And then—my children were shown that you don't even have to have met someone and they will help you celebrate their mother.

Last week, I received a package on my doorstep from a darling friend. The package contained a beautifully presented box of fine chocolates with a simple message enclosed. The card reads, "'A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.' — Victor Hugo Happy Mother's Day!!" The thoughtfulness of the gesture has me beside myself with gratitude. My friend couldn't have known how my children had been fretting or of my concern for them, and then he goes and does that.

I believe that the special people in our lives have this way of knowing what we need and when we need it—even if they don't understand all the reasons why. Because they care, any motivation is reason enough. For whatever reason my friend chose to send that Mother's Day gift, all I know is how much happiness was felt as a result of that choice.

What a gift and a treasure. And I'm not talking about the chocolates.

Christmas Traditions: Stories and Ornaments

Christmas is my favorite holiday for a few reasons. Foremost, I'm Christian and it's the holiday celebrating Christ's birth. Second, my family culture growing up had many special traditions that revolved around Christmas. And last, I have continued many of the Christmas traditions my parents handed down to me because I truly love Christmas time so very much. Two of those traditions are particularly special to me.

One of the traditions that I have carried on is reading Christmas stories to my children. I don't recall my mother reading the stories to us more often than on Christmas Eve, but I have expanded it and read Christmas stories to my children throughout the month of December. When I became a mother, my mom gave me her set of books that celebrate different Christmas traditions around the world, and those books are favorites now because there are photographs and chock full of interesting factoids that my children soak up like sponges.

When I was given the opportunity to review Christmas From Heaven, a zing of excitement went through me. I had been wanting a new Christmas story to add to our collection, and I was thinking this one might be a good choice. Well, after reading it to my children and enjoying the DVD included with it, the votes were in—this is a fabulous Christmas story!

What I like most about Christmas From Heaven is that it tells a story from history about how someone gave true Christian kindness in a time of post-war tragedy. I had heard of the Berlin Candy Bomber before, but I didn't really know the story in any detail. The book has photographs of the people, planes, and thank-you's sent to Lt. Halvorsen aka The Berlin Candy Bomber. An extra treat is having the Christmas DVD to watch with the story read by Tom Brokaw along with music by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. We had just read the book, but my children were just as engrossed in the telling of the story on the DVD because of the added features from the performance.

I highly recommend Christmas From Heaven to anyone who would like an uplifting historical story for Christmas time.  If you don't want to wait to see if you win the book giveaway, I have a direct link for purchasing a copy:  http://deseretbook.com/Christmas-Heaven-Tom-Brokaw/i/5108410

The other tradition I would like to share with you is collecting ornaments for the Christmas tree. My mom had a lovely collection herself, but she started one for me from the first year I was born and continued adding to it until her last Christmas. So, ornaments are a precious part of my Christmas each year. Taking out each ornament and finding a perfect spot on the tree is a wonderful time for me. 

Another exciting thing for me with this review was that, in addition to the book, I was sent a set of Biblical Names of Christ ornaments. These ornaments come in a set of twelve and are simple yet perfect for focusing on the true meaning of Christmas. I'm one for glitter and lots of color, but I really was impressed by the quality of each ornament. Another nice thing about these ornaments is you can tie a ribbon through the top or use ornament hooks. I'm going with a sheer purple ribbon, but that's just me. 

For anyone wanting a quality ornament set that is unique and places emphasis on Christ, this set would be an excellent purchase. To get a set for yourself or as a gift, here is a direct link: http://bit.ly/1h3s7JD

*GIVEAWAY*

Now, for the really fun part. I hope all of you enter to win a copy of the fantastic Christmas story Christmas From Heaven, the true story of the Berlin Candy Bomber. Good luck, and remember to spread the Christmas giveaway cheer by sharing news of the giveaway: tweet on Twitter, post to Facebook, and email the link!

Christmas music

34.

I don't know what the deal is with all this Christmas stuff in August, but as I've said before, it just proves that the slips of paper are randomly chosen.

When I was little, all the Christmases were a blur of sparkling lights, cookies, candies, wrapping paper, and gifts. You could hardly walk across the floor once everyone's gifts were opened for all the paper strewn across it. But setting gifts aside, my parents always took time to teach us about Christ's birth being the center of everything, and my mom made it happen by infusing the season with music: singing songs to and with us, playing the most high brow Christmas selections on the record or tape players, playing sacred hymns and carols on the piano, taking us to concerts for Handel's Messiah, and participating first-hand in Christmas caroling as a family.

Christmas was shaped for me then into a permanent form. Christmas is not Christmas enough unless there is music filling the air as often as possible.

just joy

32.

First of all, we will just ignore the typo, ok? So anyways. Back to our usual program.

I grew up in Las Vegas, and not to say downtown didn't ever decorate for Christmas, but I don't remember it being all that. It only snowed once in all my recollection as a child. And Downtown Las Vegas is different from most downtowns you'll find anywhere, like around the entire world, for being such a small city when I was growing up. It's just inherently different.

I did, however, grow up in an area of town where there were mostly Las Vegas natives, and I'm telling you, they knew how to decorate. It was so fun to go for rides in our big old van to look at all the Christmas lights on people's houses around (our side of) town. I look back on that tradition and feel so much joy. It was a wonderful time to be together, singing Christmas carols while driving with my parents and little brothers.

It could be the passage of time making the memory sweeter, but I don't have any bad memories mingled with these outings, so that makes it all the better, maybe even perfect.

Christmas trees and other things

22.

(This little strip of paper stands as proof that this weekly gem thing is luck of the draw. It is not Christmas time, but oh well.  It's never too early to begin celebrating, right? Just kidding.)

Christmas trees. This brings back so many memories from childhood.

Most years, we would all pile into the big white Econoline van and head down to the tree lot on Nellis. My mom, the ever-singing angel of our family, would lead us in Christmas caroling whether we sang along or not. I loved it even when I didn't. Once we arrived, we'd all start hunting down the best tree of all time. I think mom had an idea for which one she wanted, but let us feel like we helped.

We'd get a Douglas fir when my dad got his way (or money was tight) and a Noble fir when my mom got her way. I never liked the Noble fir trees until I began doing my own Christmas decorating as an adult. I didn't realize how much better the ornaments hang. I think my flaw in taste was that I equated the branchiness of the Noble with the Charlie Brown tree. No kid wants that tree!

So anyways, we'd get home and all help decorate the tree. When I was really young, my mom used to bake gingerbread for us to build a house from scratch, decorate the front room with garland and cute Christmas cartoon art taped to the wall, and this kept our busy little bodies busy so as to not break her collectible ornaments. Decorating was always a very cheerful event even before we were allowed to actually touch the decorations.

One of my favorite things to put on the tree, which I refuse to bring into my house, was tinsel. My parents must have really loved the look of it or maybe it was for tradition's sake because I don't see how they could abide the holy mess we'd make with that stuff. It got all over us, the floor, and, yes, some on the tree.

My parents bought an artificial tree once I was just about out of the house since they discovered my mom had an allergy to pine trees. Gone were the winters of perpetual bronchitis after that, but also gone were the days of hunting down the best tree of all time.

To Mom With Love

We remember the days when we would drive you nuts.
You'd get the wooden spoon and spank our little butts.
A couple--or so--got broken in half.
Since time has passed, we all have to laugh.

Many things bring to mind fond memories of you.
Without such a great mom, we don't know what we'd do.


written for Mother's Day 2001

related links:

Mother's Day 2011: In Her Footsteps

Hopeful Rest: Mother's Day 2012

a slice of Easter

A new day. The sun is shining, and I actually do hear birds singing outside my window. I am awakened by the delightful sounds of Spring--not my children babbling about what the Easter Bunny brought them whilst they slept.

It is the first time we are not together for Easter. I am certain God knew I would feel heartache because as I arose the music and words to one of my favorite Easter hymns "He is risen!" came into my mind at the very first. Not any self pity. Not any emptiness. Only a feeling of fullness of joy and of the holy spirit.

There were moments during church that I felt their absence pinch at my heart, but my Father in Heaven would not have me be anything but of good cheer today. In celebration of Easter, I had the pleasure of conducting an adult choir and a girls choir during our Sacrament service. So, between all the spiritually uplifting messages and doing my part, I was filled to the brim with no room for sadness.

This day is not done, but I want to tell you of a transformative experience I had after church. While preparing for the Easter Bunny's late arrival tomorrow, I was wishing the children were with me. I even allowed myself to entertain a few tears, but then I recalled all of the beautiful messages of peace and Christ's sacrifice and resurrection that I received earlier in the day and could only feel gladness. Instantly, I felt glad that I had received comfort, that I have a testimony of Christ and his atonement. And then the transformation occurred. I began to feel glad that my children's father did not have to be alone this Easter. The fact remains that we cannot be together which means someone will always need to be apart from the children on holidays. From one moment to the next, I was transformed from selfishly sad to reveling in compassion. I have been happy from that moment on--completely filled with God's love for me.

Many times in our lives, we are apart from those we cherish, but the good news is that Christ can be our companion as we allow his atonement to heal our hearts. We can sing a song of redeeming love by reaching past ourselves and recognizing that God has a plan and it is one of happiness. I know Christ lives and loves you and me even all of us. 

I hope that my experience might reach someone in need of it today. Have a blessed Easter, everyone.

Source: twowritingteachers.files.wordpress.com via The Purple on Pinterest