upon meeting

I love a man 
who is a boy 
who keeps giving 
pieces of love 
to too many 
while stealing 
my girlish heart 
in a way 
that I know 
I gave it freely 
upon meeting him, 
my darling
heartbreak.

a sweet dream

33.

Retirement feels more like an elusive, distant dream to me than any sort of reality I can fathom, yet I can see it right in front of me as if it is tomorrow, and in that dream I am traveling along the countrysides of new and familiar places with someone, not quite sure who yet, but traveling contentedly with a darling, dear companion who loves me and I love him, and I write about the sights and sounds, smells and tastes of everything we encounter at the end of every day because in the midst of our adventures I am taking photographs like an absolutely obsessed freak, who is happier than a kid on Christmas in a candy store with their hand caught in the cookie jar riding a train for the first time.

The Sort of Great Escape

On the cusp of insanity with kids on one side fighting, yelling, and lazing about on the floor despite the fact that you've told them to clean their room, take out the trash, and put away their laundry about fifteen times with no new response except for your voice going up half an octave every time you repeat yourself, and on the other side, you've got the wish and--dare I say--pipe dream for a lovely, beautiful summer with an organized home, clean children who have learned so many wonderful lessons and behaved in miraculously sweet and respectful ways that they are pretty much entitled to any bit of fun you could possibly provide despite all the worries which could make life miserable but don't because things are so darn great, you steal a moment in the very middle of these polar opposites--seizing it by piling the lazing little miracles into the car and running away to the movies.

Lunch Is Never Just Lunch

I went to eat lunch at the school with my youngest, and here is how it went:

I thought to myself as I walked past the paramedics vehicle in front of the school I will definitely survive--they already called for back up; proceeded to the office to get checked into school land; walked past two teachers quarreling in the hall; stood watching my son lolloping toward me completely oblivious to my presence; said BOO! loudly and got a really cute smile out of him; upon reading the menu, announced that I hate fish sticks, but that a chicken patty sandwich sounds fabulous; received informal poll results from several children on how they hate both options; conducted a mini-lecture on how there are starving children in the world and we need to be grateful for fresh food (boy, did I feel like a jerk for saying I didn't like a type of food); proceeded to vocalize high praise for all the fresh, hot food as we went through the cafeteria line; sat with my little monkey boy and his friends, one of which announced that he only had a roll and milk since he forgot lunch money too many days in a row, so, of course, I had to give the kid half of all he would take of my lunch (believe it or not, he passed on the curly fries offer); witnessed a kid getting bullied by two bigger kids at a table next to ours; proceeded to tell the bullies to knock it off; ate more lunch with my monkey and his friends (oh yeah, and one of my friend's daughters came over and sat on the other side of me--I feel special); witnessed the bullied kid going under the table to get stuff the bullies were messing with; pretty much commanded said bullies to Leave the boy alone right now! and Get busy eating your food right now! and I mean it! Now!; finished eating; gave a hug to my sweetie guy and got one in return bigger than I gave; proceeded to the garbage area to witness a disgusting amount of food wasting as I threw away my trash; gave another big hug goodbye; got roped into using every cent of spare change I had on a slew of candy grams to surprise my children and one of my friends who works at the school (she is newly divorced and so I don't think she'll get many valentines other than from students this year); checked out; survived.

Source: twowritingteachers.wordpress.com via The Purple on Pinterest

growth chart

Letting out the hem on scout uniform pants tells the story of how fast a boy grows...

Buried Treasure

It's been a rough and tumble type of day and all your thoughts tend to lead you into Temptation's unkind hand showing you how to loathe yourself by lathering on negative self talk and unhealthy habits that only create a thriving environment for more self-loathing, which chips away at and inevitably buries the strength you must have to blossom in such an unforgiving world with endless demands on your heart and mind and physical body, until you begin to truly want to give up on your dreams and stop caring so deeply about people who continually spurn what you have to give--what you give so freely and beautifully--as you continue on your journey toward eternity, which appears to be completely out of reach and maybe not for you, no, because maybe you don't deserve to be happy or loved or appreciated or make any measurable difference in this brutal existence since whichever direction you turn there continues to be disheartening and terribly disenchanting dead ends, but then--you reach out one more time with a quiet, pleading heart and someone is able to read your humanity right and care enough to reach out in return even though it might be a risk to take as well to show pure loving understanding, and a treasure is unearthed: friendship in its perfect form.

Source: twowritingteachers.wordpress.com via The Purple on Pinterest

A Girl Who Writes

There once was a girl, not just any girl but a girl with energy beyond the bounds that caffeine has power to provide; a girl with the blind ability to make people laugh when she is being so serious looks could kill; a girl whose heart is so large that it longs to love unconditionally and completely deeply every single person she ever loved without restriction or inhibition; a girl whose pain has moulded her into who she has become, making it impossible for her to wish it away; a girl who grew into her womanhood while she wasn't looking and sometimes doesn't comprehend how it even occurred; a girl seeing through the dark void of yesterday with her eternal vision power to realize a peaceful future; a girl with enough spice to qualify for space in a professional chef's pantry; a girl whose hair, on a bad day, looks electrified yet somehow it matches her personality too well; a girl whose aspirations for expression reach infinitesimally out to a point that no one can fully comprehend; a girl whose hope is constant--to a heart-breaking fault; a girl who has a soul larger than her body and hence feels cramped in her own skin; a girl who wants to be loved deeply so much so that she can almost taste the man's lips upon hers and will recognize him when that moment comes; a girl whose imagination runs like wild mustangs across a wide open plain; a girl who writes really long sentences, even so long you might come away with the sense that you just read a short book.

The Fire Hydrant

In the midst of endless blistering hot summer days, the fire hydrant is the keeper of the key to an entirely magical and wonderfully fantastical world where once irritatingly bothersome and bored little children morph into dazzlingly delightsome and animated munchkins whose laughs are just the right volume, wet clothes somehow are the best sort to have on (even though in the normal world one spot of wet would demand a complete change of outfit), and no sibling could ever be imagined to be inclined to bite, hit, call a foul name or kick another, which of course inclines every mother who ever lived for even one beautiful moment of  time in the land of The Fire Hydrant to yearn for and always have a treasured place in her heart for when they all dwelt together in peace, love, and harmony while the roar of the blasting water drowned out the momentarily eternal giggles of running, splashing, lovely, happy darlings who are now firmly planted in the land of dry, hot, miserable, you're a stupid head meanie and I hate you until the day arrives when the water authority needs to run another water test.

...and the list goes on

The confidence of others; getting of a kiss from someone who adores me; a kind word on a less than good day; getting to the top of a trail in time to see the sun peek out over the horizon; watching the sun melt into the sea while breathing in the brisk salty air; getting a letter in the mail from anyone, yet most especially from someone who knows how much I love it; hope in every good thing coming to me in good time; getting to know my mother enough to truly love her before she died; the privilege of becoming a mother and realizing it is a gift; getting to know the many people that I can honestly call my friends; a smile on the face of someone I love because I helped put it there; getting into the car at the beginning of a roadie no matter the destination; the clean and beautiful sense of peace which abides in my heart ever since I recognized who I am and where I belong and did something about it; getting over the heartaches of life long enough to taste happiness; learning how to use language in such a way that leaves no doubt of my meaning; getting away with being brainless and intelligent all in the same conversation; the touch of a caring hand as it encircles mine in moments of lamentation as well as the most luminescent joys; getting to hear a long lost voice on the other end of the line because I was not forgotten; seeking beauty in its several forms; writing; loving; wishing; giving; receiving; dreaming of and remembering you are what I have lived for...