to be refined

I don't know what to say anymore. My life continues on with these unending waves of hardship that push me under until I nearly drown. And yet, I know I'm not unique. Many people go through hard things and periods of trouble. It's part of the human experience. That's what they say anyway.

When will we find a stretch of peace—my children and I? My faith is my source that truly grants much of it. I have support from some family members, friends, neighbors, and church members. Tuning into the spirit really opens my mind to possibilities and answers I didn't have until I prayed. And my life is just plain better because of the lifestyle of spiritual cultivation that I have embraced.

All of that said, I can't imagine where I'd be without the hope and faith that is in me right now. I believe that those two things have kept me from being able to see what giving up looks like. It's just not a path I visualize. In all of my bouts of wanting to quit, I never could imagine it actually happening. It has never looked better than keeping on keeping on even on the worst days. But you know, I have cried a great deal over the past several years, and I really don't know what to expect from day-to-day anymore.

It's hard living in a fire.



1 comment:

  1. "It's hard living in a fire." I don't know your "fire", but I sure feel your exhaustion. One step in front of the other. Keep moving away from the flames that seek to engulf you. Count your blessings. Reach out to the people who have offered support. Create simple opportunities for you and your children to laugh together.

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