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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

50 Things by 50: 2 Months Out Check-in



I did a progress report in October, and here is my 2 months until the big 5-0 report. 

I have accomplished all but the following goals: 

3. Publish a poetry only book. 

    This has not happened even in my imagination. I am unsure if it will. Cross your fingers for me, and please send comments demanding I get it up for sale in time for Valentine's Day (or sooner!).  

10. Go on a girls trip. 

    I have not done this yet. I hope to accomplish it in January. 

11. Go on a sibling(s) trip. 

    I have not done this yet either, but I am happy to report that one is in the works—in February. Let us all cross our fingers it works out, so I can cross this off the list. 

13. Visit a lake.  

     I almost did this but had to cancel. Not sure when/if it will happen.

15. Write letters/emails to 50 women who have been inspirational to me. 

    I have now written thirty-three letters of fifty…I need to still get writing. 

16. Find something meaningful to do for others in honor of each of my parents' birthdays. 

    I made my mom's homemade bread in honor of my mom's birthday, and I am not sure what will happen for my dad, but I am hoping to do something special soon within December as a tribute. 

17. Break the habit of worrying about things I cannot change. 

    Progress is being made. I think I will never be completely rid of the practice, as it is very human of me, but I am thankful to have taken time to become mindful of when it is happening and learn how to stop doing it. 

18. Give away ALL clothes that do not fit anymore. 

    Round one of the purge happened in the summer, but I STILL need to go through things one last time before February hits.  

20. Complete the revisions on my will. 

    Still needs to happen. 

21. Revise and renew life insurance. 

    Still needs to happen. 

23. Create an exercise plan to do for a minimum of ten weeks in a row to create healthier habits. 

    If we count physical therapy after my Boston injury, I've got it down. But if we aren't counting that, I might need to start this around Thanksgiving and/or Christmas breaks.

24. Go on a picnic. 

    Still has not happened, and it will have to be a wintertime picnic to make it happen. haha.  

26. Try a new exercise class, and stick with it at least five times. 

    I plan to try to do this over Christmas break. 

27. Organize a neighborhood cleanup. 

    After the injury, it has been weird and difficult to do stuff, so I am unsure if this will happen in time. If it does not, I will organize one in the spring once I feel more able. 

28. Complete or give/throw away all unfinished craft projects. 

    I still need to finish one project, so we will see! 

30. Watch the sun rise. 

    Still needs to happen...

33. Play at least one round of golf (probably go to the driving range a couple of times first). 

  If I can just go to a driving range a few times, I will count it since it is now wintertime.

36. Attend a city council meeting. 

    I have not done this yet. I want to make this happen after Christmas. 

37. Make a better habit of taking walks around the neighborhood/walking to church. 

    With my injury, this is a fool's errand for now, but I have been doing extra walking on my good days to meet this.  

38. Eat a sausage roll (going to York to do so is recommended but optional). 

    I need to do this still! 

42. Go dancing. 

    I will probably have to count dancing at my birthday party, but maybe I can try something better by then.   

46. Brush up on Spanish. 

    Has not happened. Still unsure if it will.  

49. Decide on a top 50 films list. 

    This is done, but I decided to do 100 films (50x2), and I will publish it on here ASAP. 

50. I decided on what to do, have been organizing it, and will send out invitations soon. 

Gratitude: Memories

 


Not all memories are good ones, but today, I am thankful for every good memory I have from the past, the present day, and for the hope of good ones ahead. When I was a teenager, my mother wrote me a note since she could not be there to help me get ready for my first homecoming dance, and she said, "I hope there have been enough good times to outweigh the bad," and that sentiment has stuck with me ever since. I did not appreciate it fully at the time, but as the years without her add up, I hold to that wish of hers as a promise that good memories will always outweigh the bad. I have seen it happen. I have learned to let go of the bad and focus on all the good that comes my way, and I am just so grateful to have the chance each day to try to outweigh the bad with all the good that we keep on striving for. I am so grateful for the memories I have made this month alone with focusing on gratitude and introducing another set of students to this mindfulness project that is truly life changing and wonderful. I hope you, Reader, have enjoyed the read and have tried to find something to be thankful for each day as well. Until next time...

Gratitude: Christmas Lights

 


I am sure it began when I was a small child, sitting in front of the Christmas tree with its lights all aglow, wishing for good things to come. So now, when I have my Christmas tree up, I will plug in the lights in the early morning and at nighttime and sit gazing on the soft light and reflect and wish and hope. Gratitude runs deep for the comfort and joy I have in Christ, and the Christmas lights remind me of all that He made possible for me and all of us. Christmas lights remind me of the birth of Jesus Christ but also the light of hope I have for being with my family in heaven and throughout eternity. And I am so very grateful for every reminder, especially Christmas lights today, that keep me hopeful for good things to come. 

Gratitude: The Pilgrims


 I come from a long line of immigrants to this land we call America, and I am grateful for each one of them who took their life into their hands and tried this American Experiment. I can trace ancestors from the 1600s who came as early settlers in the Massachusetts Bay Colony and elsewhere, and it gives me a sense of ownership of my destiny as an American knowing that my long line of American-minded family members sacrificed to make a new and different life for themselves and their posterity. I am thankful for all of the good, determined, faithful folks who did strive and fight for a better way. Whether my direct ancestors or otherwise, I know it takes community to survive in unsettled wilderness, and I am grateful for what they did to pave the way for my freedom and comfort. I am so blessed by their efforts and even their lives. 

Gratitude: Visitors

 


Especially at Thanksgiving and Christmas, visiting and being visited are a thing, and I am here for it. I love it. In recent years, I have not been as able to go visiting very far from home, but I have had family come to me, and I love it so much. One of my brothers who lives about 500 miles away will be coming to visit for early Thanksgiving, and I am so thankful that he would take time and money to come see me and my children. It means so much. I am grateful for the various vehicles that make all visiting possible too. Without the vehicles, we would be stuck like it used to be before modern transportation provided more freedom of movement. Vehicles and visitors go hand in hand, and I am thankful today for both. 

Gratitude: Thanksgiving Break


 There is a saying that you should create a life that you do not need a vacation from. I feel that. As someone who chose the teaching profession, I learned quickly that the breaks are absolutely essential. Maybe I am doing things wrong, but I cannot seem to keep up on health and wellness other than during breaks. I am grading and lesson planning and organizing and conferencing, etc. eight to ten hours a day (sometimes eleven to twelve when grading is piled high), and it just does not leave time to do much else except be mentally and physically exhausted. I have been evaluating what I assign and how I measure student performance in order to work smarter not harder, so my hopes are high that I will soon not have to be on such a grind. I am in my eleventh year of teaching now, so I feel like I probably should have figured this out by now. My only  excuse is that I have been teaching a wide range of classes over the years, and only in these last two school years have I been teaching core English classes again. That has got to be the issue. That all said, I am exceedingly grateful to have this Thanksgiving break to take care of myself and my family and my home. The comfort and peace it is giving me is palpable. I needed these days off to recuperate, rejuvenate, and restore. 

Gratitude: Innovation

 


I don't know about you, but my life has been blesses beyond measure by innovative minds who create inventions and/or take old things and repurpose them to new ways of doing things. It has been phenomenal to witness in my lifetime the many new things that change my life and make life better. I am in true awe as I contemplate all of the blessings come from sheer innovation. Computers, phones, dishwashers (I did not grow up using one), microwave ovens, washers and dryers (I did not grow up using a dryer either), safer Christmas lights, and the list goes on and on and on! So many wonderful and good things that make my life so good. I am exceedingly thankful for anyone who works to innovate for the good of humanity. 

Gratitude: Sight

 


It is natural to take for granted the things that come easy, so taking the time to notice things like the ability to see is important. I used to have perfect sight, but getting older has stolen that from me. Nevertheless, I can still see very well, and I have access to an optometrist and glasses that make my sight almost as good as it was. I am so grateful that I can see. Being able to look out my windows is glorious and calming as I see the beautiful sky filled with clouds and enjoy the radiant sunlight. The gift of sight is precious and important, and I am thankful for it. 

Gratitude: Calm

 


As a teacher and a single mother and a me, I rarely know calm. I never really have but on very few and far between occasions. So when I saw the opportunity to get a substitute teacher for a couple of days before Thanksgiving break, jumped at the chance. And I am happy to say, I am on the road toward calm, and it feels nice, really nice. I have taken care of almost my entire random you can only take care of these things between 9-5 list, and we are not even to Thanksgiving yet. This means my home might actually get completely clean if I can keep my eye on the prize. You might be asking what does this have to do with calm? Well, when all the random things are taken care of and my home is clean, I feel like I can actually have a minute to breathe. I have not been a stay-at-home mom for over a decade, but those were the days when I could achieve some calm from time to time when all the errands were ran, dinner was cooking, the children were playing, and I had finished whatever cleaning project that day. Yet, I digress. Long gone are those days, but I remember what helps me to enjoy a sliver of calm, and today, I can see it coming toward me on the horizon. 

Gratitude: Jolabokaflod

 


January through October, my book club reads a book and has a potluck discussion about the book. And every November, we get together to celebrate the year of reading and discuss what books we want to nominate for the upcoming year. When planning what I want my book club to look like, I decided that I loved the Icelandic tradition of Jolabokaflod, exchanging books and eating chocolate at Christmastime, so we celebrate with a book flood of books to give to each other, chocolate, and a different Christmas themed party each year. Last year, we had a chocolate and fondue fancy night in theme, and this year was a pancakes and pajamas party theme. And every year, we have a nice array of chocolate and delicious food items, and it always feels like a wonderful way to wrap up the year of reading with the women who join in with me. I am thankful for each of the women past and present who have been part of my book club, for all they do to invite and attend to make it a rejuvenating time for themselves and me. I am thankful for all of that because it makes it possible to even need to do the special end of year/Christmas season kickoff, our version of Jolabokaflod. We just enjoyed our Jolabokaflod last night, and it did not disappoint. So much fun talking books and hanging out and eating delicious food and treats. I am already looking forward to it again next year! 

Gratitude: Clean Water


 

Every year, I write about being thankful for clean, fresh water, and every year, I mean it. I will not take for granted this amazing life-giving necessity that comes to me without delay, on tap, every single day of my life so far. I have water to use for cooking, cleaning, bathing, and drinking, and it has rarely ever been in limited supply. Access to clean water keeps me and my family healthy and very happy. I am so grateful to have clean water to use every day. 

Gratitude: Movies

 


Going to the movies was a big part of my childhood and beyond. My parents would take us on opening weekends and even try to get first showings for some movies. I grew up and my children grew up going to the drive-in and movie theater as well as enjoying an extensive home movie collection. The great thing about collecting movies still is that even if I do not have a certain streaming service or no streaming services carry the movie I want to watch, if I have it in my collection, I am good to go. I have made sure to get some of my obscure favorites while I still could, and it has definitely paid off. I am developing a top 50 or maybe a top 100 best movies of all time list for my 50 Things by 50 challenge, and I am feeling excited to work on that some more after contemplating how thankful I am for movies. Movies bring smiles and tears, but most of all, they bring back some of my happiest everyday memories that I can think of. 

Gratitude: Christmastime

 


I am one of those on November 1 I decorate for Christmas people. I am also one of those if I can help it I leave up my Christmas stuff through Epiphany people. The extreme nostalgia and joyful focus on Jesus Christ just calls for some extra special decor if you ask me. I also love kicking off the season with Christmas songs right away. But one of the aspects of Christmastime I am most thankful for is the increase focus on striving to be Christlike and thinking of others. My imperfections help me keep it real, but I always am watching for what I might to do lift where I stand, what would God want me to do to help others like His Son. Christmastime is a time of giving and receiving, loving and striving, remembering and worshiping, and I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who sent His Son to redeem my soul. So very thankful for Jesus and His birth and life given for me and for you.   

Gratitude: Sleep

 


Since the summertime, I have been focusing on getting better and more sleep. It has been a much more difficult task than I had anticipated. For some reason, my body does not want to let me get more than six and half hours on average each month. It used to be only six hours and fifteen minutes, and I am not sure if this small adjustment has made a difference. I think it has, so I am thankful for this small progress. Sleep helps so many things for our bodies, and I am grateful to be making even little steps in helping my health. 

Gratitude: Prayer

 


Not a day goes by that I do not reach to my Heavenly Father for guidance, inspiration, discernment, and hope. I am thankful for my parents who shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with me as a child and set me on a path to know Him and our God who loves us all. I am thankful for the ability to pray each day to God and for the ability to hear Him and feel His love in my life. 

Gratitude: Fresh Air

 


Breathing easy is not something to take for granted. There are places around the world with significant air pollution levels, and they cannot see the stars at night because it is so bad. Granted, many places with air pollution issues also have light pollution at play, but I digress. The fact remains that it is a blessing to have fresh air to breathe. The rain, snow, and even wind that helps keep the air clear throughout the year are blessings, and I am thankful for each day that I can be outside and breathe easy. 

Gratitude: Sunshine

 


Autumn is my favorite season with Winter being a pretty close second, but I am always thankful for those warming rays of sunshine that break through clouds on an autumn day or the full sun in a bright, fresh sky in winter. The sun shining in these seasons feels more welcoming than the blazing sun of summertime. It feels like hope and happiness. I am grateful for the sunny days that surprise and delight us when the temperature outside is telling us to stay inside. 

Gratitude: My Dad




I saw a meme on Facebook today that got me remembering a really random but wonderful memory about my dad, and so I want to share my thoughts about it:  

My dad used to catch me when walking by or sitting talking together and give me hug and a little cash every once in awhile when I was a teenager, anything from a couple bucks to a twenty. It always hit on days when I was broke and needed gas money or wanted to do a 7-Eleven run but had no cash. Gas cost around a dollar per gallon when I first was driving, so two or three dollars meant a lot. He grew up very poor, even destitute at times, and I am pretty sure that was his motivation to do this.

Another instance of this wasn’t when I was sad but getting ready to head down the aisle to get married. He asked if I was ready, gave me a hug, and slipped me $500. I had nowhere to put it, so I tucked it into the top of my dress, then he opened the door, and we entered the chapel. What a great memory even if things didn’t turn out.

I love my dad so much for all the ways he lifted and blessed us as a family. It has been twenty years this month since he joined my mom in Paradise, so remembering special little moments like this make me even more grateful for having a dad who tried so hard to get life right.

Gratitude: Support

 


I am thankful for all the people who see the world I am in and know to reach in from time to time. I do not need to feel seen very often, but when I do need it, somehow, people can feel it and they come to my aid and support. I rarely need to ask, and so it feels miraculous, and I point to God and His love for me that shows through the people He has put into my life to help me. What a blessing to have so many people who care. I know not everyone who needs it has support, so I am exceedingly grateful that I do. I cannot see how I would have made it through today without the supportive people who crossed my way. So thankful. 


Gratitude: Good Pens

 


I don't know about you, but I have always been a sucker for a really good pen. It is not about being an expensive pen but more about how cute, nice, special, or purple the pen is. My favorite type of pen is gel pens, so when my youngest daughter bought me a whole box of purple gel pens for Christmas? or my birthday? about five years ago, I about fell over with happiness. I literally still have one or two of those pens that I use for letter writing or in my journal, but I do save when I use them in order to make them last. Another pen I especially love right now is the purple pen I got at the Tower of London two years ago when I visited England. It is purple, has a purple crown charm, and has Crown Jewels stamped on it in a gold tone font. It has blue ink that writes nice and smooth, so that is great too, but I really wish it had purple ink to match the outer casing. But I digress… I am so thankful for the several pens that I have to write with to match my every mood or whim. It feels luxurious to me! 

Gratitude: U.S. Veterans

 


Leading up to every Veterans Day, I take time to contemplate the blessings I have because of the sacrifices of the American troops, past and present. What luxury we are able to enjoy because of these brave people. Upholding the U.S. Constitution and serving fellow citizens are things that can be easily taken for granted if we forget to recognize how needed it all is. Freedom does not just happen without action and support, so I am very thankful this day for everyone who has served the United States of America in any branch of the Armed Forces. I would like to add one shoutout to my brother who is a combat veteran. I am always in great awe at how he pushed through to do his duty to the oath he took as a U.S. soldier. So proud. So thankful. 

Gratitude: Snow

 


It has snowed a couple of times so far this season but not really anything to speak of, just flurries here and there. And I am not sure why snow came to mind just now, but I really am thankful for it. I love how snow transforms the landscape of everywhere it touches. It is amazing to me. I grew up going to visit snow once a year when my parents would trek us up to the nearby mountains, and it was magical to me, so now whenever it snows, I think of them. Snow reminds me of how they took time to help my brothers and me have experiences with snow despite living in Las Vegas. Sledding on wooden Radio Flyer metal-railed sleds is peak childhood winter for me, and I just love to think of it. I am also thankful for the water that mountain snowpack provides to the entire area, and every time it snows, I thank God for it all—the beauty, the reminders, the life-sustaining water. 

Gratitude: Nerd Lunch

 


I do this thing called Nerd Lunch with my Creative Writing class every fall semester, and I just love it so much. When I was first developing the curriculum for my Creative Writing program, I spent (way too much) time brainstorming ways to give the students as real world of an experience as possible. I got to thinking about what published and aspiring authors do, and I recalled how helpful the write nights had been for me when I would go. With it being a school assignment, it would not be easy to plan a night thing since no one else would be at the school, but I just had to find a way to make this work. I got thinking and thinking, and then it came to me—Nerd Lunch—an author write night but in the afternoon at the school with a snacky potluck. I even had a logo designed for it and stickers made that I give to the students who attend, and every year, I am astounded by how much fun my Creative Writing students have working, snacking, and helping each other. It is glorious, and I am so thankful that I am able to do this fun tradition for students to look forward to each fall. 


Gratitude: Shoes


 

I am thankful for shoes. Lately, I have not been able to wear the type of shoes I normally would like, but it is a small problem to have in the grand scheme of things. I am blessed with enough and to spare for showing up to work looking professional, completing nice looking outfits for church and going out, and being able to care for my feet. What a wonderful blessing to have this comfort and protection for such an important part of my body! 

Gratitude: My Family

 


I write about being thankful for my family every year, but I maintain that I am indeed thankful for them. I find purpose in serving them, my children, my brothers and their families, and any extended family I get a chance to help out from time to time. Also, having the chance to love them all feels like a privilege and even a miracle how God has put us all into families to help each other. My children are all growing up and finding their own lives, and that keeps me finding ways to keep us connected. And I am thankful for the effort they make to come together when we can make it happen. 

Some days, I am wracked with feeling like I have failed at being a good sister, mother, aunt, etc., but I honestly strive to show everyone how dear they all are to me, and I hope that will be enough when all is said and done. I would be lost without them. 

Gratitude: My Job

 


There is no mystery around the fact that teachers are grossly underpaid, nevertheless, I am exceedingly thankful for my job that I have. Opportunities to do what I want within my purview as an educator arise every year, and it keeps me thriving in experiences for growth and success. Another aspect of my job that inspires so much gratitude is that I have it. Not everyone has a job who needs one, let alone one they are successful at doing. It means a great deal to me that I can do work that is rewarding on many levels, and I am very thankful for the chance I get each day to see success in the eyes of my students as they learn and grow. It is a dividend that never ends. 


Gratitude: America

 


It is Election Day in the United States of America, and the world is turning faster than ever, and I wonder how it will all shake out as we are stuck on this insane merry-go-round. That said, I love my country. I have ancestors who left their homelands to take a chance across the sea to come to American soil and make a new life. I feel their love, sense of adventure, boldness for freedom and liberty, and how their hopes and dreams for a good future are now on my shoulders to carry. What a blessing and privileged to be part of God's promises to His children. I love being an American, and my heart is full of gratitude. 

Gratitude: Food

 


Whenever Gratitude Month rolls along, I try to take a step back to notice every good thing in life, and food is at the top of the list. We actually need food to live, and I have never gone a day of my life without the food I need and most of the time the food that I want. And this fact is something to be truly grateful for. My heart is full thinking about how I have been watched over every day to have this thing that I need, and I believe it is a blessing from God because of my parents' hopes and prayers for me and mine. They always would make sure I had what I needed and some of what I wanted even after having my own family, and I just know they are helping to keep us taken care of somehow. 


Gratitude: Friends

 


It has not always been this way, knowing how how blessed my life is to be so full of friends. I used to take for granted growing up on the same street in the same house in the same town that my mom and her mom grew up in. There is just something special about people knowing you and your family and caring about you. I also used to think no one could like me, taking for granted all of the friends who I could not see or thought they were just putting up with me. I feel so thankful right now as I contemplate just how many people are my friends. It is amazing and wonderful. 


Gratitude: Movement

 


Being able to move—even more specifically walk—is one thing I had never thought to be deeply thankful for, but the past two summers have had injuries that affected my ability to walk, and I am so thankful to be able to move my body. I have pain almost every single step I take still, but I am able to move my body and not be stuck home or stuck in a wheelchair, dependent on anyone to get me where I need or want to be, and my gratitude is immense. There are many people who do not have freedom of movement, and I only had a small taste of that life, and it was extremely difficult for me to manage and cope. I thank God every day that I have been able to recover as much as I have for which I am also truly grateful. 

 

Gratitude: Time

 


Today, this first day of November and Gratitude Month, I am thankful for the gift of time. As a teacher and single mom, I do not always have time for things I want to do, and I was able to arrange my schedule to give me time to do what I want to do most right now. It looked like cleaning my home, sorting through Christmas decor, and working on a mini DIY project I have been wanting to do for a few weeks. That might not sound very exciting, but it was rejuvenating, and I am so thankful to have had the time to unwind. 



My 50 Things by 50 Progress Report





Being held accountable when setting goals helps you in reaching them, so I am making a progress report with just 4 months out until the big FIVE-O hits in February. 

Progress on my 50 Things by 50 list: 

1. Visit a city (or even country—Scotland, I am looking at you) I have never been to before. 

    I have been to Cocoa Beach, Florida AND Boston, Massachusetts, both of which I had never visited. I really loved where we stayed in Cocoa Beach, and I hope to go back. Boston would have been super awesome if I had not gotten injured on the first day there. Alas, I was injured the whole time, so it was pretty rough. I will say I loved the Isabella Gardner Stewart and the Boston Museum of Fine Art. Amazing. So worth it. I would go back. 

2. Complete a service opportunity at least once a month if not more often. 

    So far, I have been service minded and doing very nuanced things to lift where I stand. I look for things to do now, and it has made me happy. 

3. Publish a poetry only book. 

    This has not happened even in my imagination. I am unsure if it will. Cross your fingers for me, and please send comments demanding I get it up for sale in time for Valentine's Day (or sooner!). 

4. Develop a cookbook. 

    I have been enjoying this project immensely. I have already developed an apple-peach jam recipe and fine tuned an apple butter recipe that is stellar, plus I have been working on several dinner dishes that are delicious. 

5. Spend time reconnecting with at least one friend I have not seen in a year or longer. 

    I was gifted a few opportunities to do this, but the one that stands out is with one of my old North Las Vegas friends, Julie, in a random thrift store last week. It was amazing! 

6. Try a new food. 

    I have tried more than I can count, and I love that I challenged myself to do this. 

7. Make music somehow (singing, instruments, etc.). 

    Feels weird to say this, but making music has been a hard one for me to tackle. I joined the church choir after a long absence, and I am committed to singing at least through Christmastime, so I am counting this one as done!

8. Try a new hobby. 

    My latest hobby has been upcycling and random, very small DIY projects to enhance my home and style in order to add comfort and peace to my physical surroundings. It has been a lot of fun, and I think it has made a difference in my life. 

9. Experience a new self care treatment. 

    I have been trying red light therapy, and I love it!

10. Go on a girls trip. 

    I have not done this yet. I hope to accomplish it in January. 

11. Go on a sibling(s) trip. 

    I have not done this yet either, but it is not for want of trying. I am unsure if this will be able to happen. And that thought makes me sad. 

12. Find something that is specifically spiritually uplifting to do every Sunday. 

    My default has been to do family history work after choir practice, so I need to count this. I will keep pondering new ways. 

13. Visit a lake.  

     I almost did this but had to cancel. Not sure when/if it will happen.

14. Go on at least one mom time of their choice with each child. 

    I just need to follow through with one last child, so hopefully it will happen! 

15. Write letters/emails to 50 women who have been inspirational to me. 

    I have only written three letters of fifty…I need to get writing. 

16. Find something meaningful to do for others in honor of each of my parents' birthdays. 

    I made my mom's homemade bread in honor of my mom's birthday, and I am not sure what will happen for my dad, but I have awhile to figure it out. 

17. Break the habit of worrying about things I cannot change. 

    I have been improving on this, and I am thankful. I still need to work on it more though. 

18. Give away ALL clothes that do not fit anymore. 

    Round one of the purge happened in the summer, but I need to go through things one last time before February hits. 

19. Deep clean my home. 

    June was the month that this happened. I even had help from a friend who donated the paint to get two rooms completely refreshed from top to bottom! 

20. Complete the revisions on my will. 

    Still needs to happen. 

21. Revise and renew life insurance. 

    Still needs to happen. 

22. Evaluate every expense, and cancel anything that is not truly beneficial. 

    I have cut off two subscriptions that were just taking my money, and I was able to replace one with a free option, so it feels really great. 

23. Create an exercise plan to do for a minimum of ten weeks in a row to create healthier habits. 

    If we count physical therapy after my Boston injury, I've got it down. But if we aren't counting that, I might need to start this around Thanksgiving and/or Christmas breaks.

24. Go on a picnic. 

    Still has not happened, and it needs to happen soon before winter sets in. 

25. Go to a day spa for at least a half day. 

    This fun stuff is going down in a week and a half, and I am so excited! A friend asked me about my list and wanted to help me get something checked off, so she is taking me to a place she loves and then to lunch. So fabulous! 

26. Try a new exercise class, and stick with it at least five times. 

    Again, the physical therapy has taken over my life. I want to try to do this still maybe over Christmas break? 

27. Organize a neighborhood cleanup. 

    After the injury, it has been weird and difficult to do stuff, so I am unsure if this will happen in time. If it does not, I will organize one in the spring once I feel more able. 

28. Complete or give/throw away all unfinished craft projects. 

    I am almost finished with everything I want to do, and I gave away some things I know I would not have time/ability to complete. 

29. Donate to a book drive. 

    I did this right off the bat last spring. Felt nice to donate so very many books. 

30. Watch the sun rise. 

    Almost happened in Cocoa Beach, but I chickened out due to the fog. I am so regretful about this. I want to make this happen, and with winter coming on, soon it will be easier to wake up before the sun to watch it! 

31. Try a new recipe. 

    I have tried and developed many new recipes, so this one has been really great. 

32. Donate to a humanitarian effort. 

    I have done this one too! It is hard seeing so much suffering around the world, but I hope that my small efforts make a difference. 

33. Play at least one round of golf (probably go to the driving range a couple of times first). 

    The injury this summer is truly the gift that keeps on giving (ruining my plans). I hope I might be able to go soon. If I can just go to a driving range a few times, I will count it. 

34. Visit the state capitol. 

    My family and I did this in the spring to see the cherry blossoms bursting with loveliness, and I loved seeing all the interesting historical things inside. 

35. Complete a 1000-piece puzzle.

    My youngest and I completed this last spring before he left for the summer. 

36. Attend a city council meeting. 

    I have not done this yet. I actually forgot about it with so much national election stuff to focus on researching and making decisions. Hopefully, I can make this happen. 

37. Make a better habit of taking walks around the neighborhood/walking to church. 

    With my injury, this is a fool's errand for now. Maybe things will get better soon, so I can get it going. 

38. Eat a sausage roll (going to York to do so is recommended but optional). 

    I need to do this still! 

39. Do a 30-day sugar detox. 

    And this too!!!

40. Cultivate and practice daily gratitude. 

    I have really worked hard on gratitude, and it has made a difference in my mindset and attitude. I hope I can keep going at this because it has helped me many days. 

41. Increase temple attendance, and set the bar there. 

    I was doing great, and then — wait for it — I got hurt, and it has just been difficult. But I am going at least once a month, so I am glad for that. 

42. Go dancing. 

    Oh dang. My stupid knees. 

43. Work on seeing how to truly forgive an enemy, and do it

    I have made real progress here. 

44. Read at least five books from my physical TBR pile of books that are NOT book club reading. 

    I have read: The Lighting Thief, Stars Above, One Dead Spy, Winter, The Trumpet of the Swan, Cress, and Scarlet so far. Good times! 

45. Create a classic films movie marathon lineup, and invite guests. 

    I have set up the movie marathon details in an evite, and will be sending it out the invitations in a couple of weeks. 

46. Brush up on Spanish. 

    Has not happened. Not sure if it will. 

47. Permanently break the habit of being undecided at restaurants. 

    This goal has been achieved! I am so proud of myself for this..hopefully, I do not backslide after acknowledging my progress. 

48. Create a calming and inviting office space. 

    This beautiful thing happened in June, and I absolutely love what I did. So pretty and comforting and organized. 

49. Decide on a top 50 films list. 

    This is done! I just need to refine it a bit and share it. 

50. Actually decide on what to do, then organize and celebrate my fiftieth birthday. 

    I kicked on the birthday shenanigans in August for half birthday fun, and I have made sure to celebrate in various ways once a month ever since. The day spa thing is my October plan, and the movie marathon is my November plan. I hope to do a girls or siblings trip for my December and January plans. And if the world is still turning in February, I am going to have a big potluck with volleyball and board games and music and maybe dancing. I hope this party idea can happen. It would be so lovely to see my friends and family all gathered together. Cross your fingers! 


Here is to making even more progress on these 50 things by 50. It has been really good so far. 


your way to me

Where did you go, Love? 

I cannot face the truth of when I lost sight of you—

When you just let go of my hand. 


It all happened so suddenly, in a breath really

As I stood there watching you choose

Every person, place, and thing other than me. 


I saw you let go; I felt your devotion leave. 

What happened to your promises? Where did you wander, Love?  

I hope you find your heart, Love. 


I hope you find your way home—to me. 




for my little monkeys

Heartbeats beating down the door

As the clock tick-tock-ticks 

And monkeys are jumping on their beds

Then the calendar keeps running its mouth

And letting her little monkeys out


They are running, climbing every tree in sight

She stands in awe, a witness 

As she greets the growing distance 

With those little monkeys learning to be free

Learning how to leap and how to land


Heartstrings stretching toward the hard won light

Of the tangled up jungle of adult life 

And watching eternity unfold before her

Heartbeats beating as she watches her little monkeys 

Swing from tree to tree—what a delight




ready

It can be disheartening to see
When staying is the wrong play
It can be difficult to see
When leaving is the best way 

It can be freeing to recognize
When a new path might set you free
It can be freeing to organize
When different choices get you ready

Ready to leave or stay and wait
Ready to love or leave it all 
Ready to grow and learn all you can
Ready to try everything and more






hold fast

Hold fast to love, my friends. 

Hold fast to the dreams you dare to muster. 

Hold fast to your tenacity. 

Hold fast to faith and devotion. 

Hold fast to truth and nurturing. 

Hold fast to joy, kindness, and innocent hope.

Hold fast to holding out for what you deserve. 

Hold fast to thoughts of eternity. 

Hold fast to love, my friends. 




write it all down

I forgot to write it all down 

The thing I wanted to remember

That one time I had a lot of fun 

That time I made a lot of friends

That time I learned an important lesson

And I think I recall falling

A little bit in love 

With a memory

That I forgot 

Because I forgot to write

It all down on paper

So time has taken ahold of 

Things and managed to 

Lose it all because

I forgot to write it all down—

And I wish I could remember. 



 




taking time

Like picking flowers in a garden 
That is not yours,
Time is what you make it 
When you are running toward
Responsibility and remember 
That you have to make it fun. 

Take the time 
Like a pocket getting picked
Every single day
When you wake up

Get in, and don't look back
Because if you do, 
You might not notice
Time is taking its toll 
And you forgot your coin purse
To pay the piper 
And Time will take its due
Whether you take the time
To take a minute to look around 
Or not. 




Redeemer, My Teacher

You are my light that keeps

    me in the fight. 

You lift my burden when 

    life is uncertain. 

Your love brings me home when

    I am alone. 

Your strength gives me hope when

    I cannot cope. 

The Garden, the tears, the nails—

All bring me to my knees in 

    prayer, faith, and humility. 





elephants and pelicans

The elephant in the room is 

How did everyone even get here. 

And I will tell you—

It was on a triple dog dare. 

She couldn't help but say it, 

"Yeah, I'll take the TRIPLE DOG DARE; 

I'm not scared!"

But when the squeals and laughter  

And the rampaging of pelican girls

Came into sight, 

Threatening to swallow her up,

all she could think now was,

"Maybe I don't want to be here; 

Maybe I am scared…"




snap

Where has the time gone? 

The days and weeks and years

Slipping by with frightening speed. 

Children one minute; gone the next. 

One, two, three, then snap—

Everything has changed again, 

And all there is to do is wonder

How it all could go by so fast—

Even autopilot offers some adventure. 




a really good quote

Once upon a time, I read or wrote (I do not know)

"Anything we do in excess can keep us from 

Doing the most important things

For our eternal salvation."


I found these several yet succinct strings of words

Too true. Ever true. A set of whispers from the past

Telling me how to make it out alive better than I thought—

Finding strength in moderation.




lift, teach, bless

I believe in goodness

That lifts us when we're down. 

I believe in joy

That teaches it's alright to frown. 

I believe that everything 

That shows us who God is

Can lift and teach and bless us 

When we least expect it. 




fly, sing, try

Beautifully breathless butterfly, 

Why do you fly from me? 

Songs that softly and gently sing, 

Why do you fly to me? 

Dancing, leaping, longing, 

Why do you fly in time, 

You delicate, darling flower

Caught in an unrelenting breeze? 

So lovely and fine, 

You invite me and entice me

To breathe, sing, and dance

In the charm of your sweet melody

Of fragrance fine. 

Sweetest, dearest heart—

Allow your light within to dispel the dark.

Let your song of goodness create a new sound.

Discover purity of the divine

As you fly, sing, and try. 



recovered

With bandaged heart, 

I take the mirror, 

Crashed and broken, 

Searching my reflection

In every shard of glass, 

and the question, 

"Will I ever be recovered enough?"

Begins knocking around in my head. 

The shards become reflections 

Of him and me

Offering a certain quality

To the demanded answer—yes. 




I believe

I believe in God

Who is my Father true. 

I believe He made a plan 

To guide me and you. 

I believe the world is where

I will find my treasure 

When I seek in faith and love

Without measure. 





jump in

Raindrops, falling fast

Love surrounds you—let some in

Puddles everywhere