From The Purple Lady, with love.
keeping it real
To say that I haven't felt like writing would be a lie. However, I can admit to not being able to put my thoughts onto the page as per usual. Ideas, feelings, random thoughts come visit for awhile, and then they fade out into nothingness as I let the wisps fly away instead of tying them down and spinning my yarn to make something more out of it all. It is hard to say how or when I will find my way out of this. I wonder if I ever will. It doesn't seem possible, no matter what anybody says.
Right now, I have so many things I want to tell you, but I can't seem to be able to invest enough heart to put it out there. Excavating my thoughts on emotional terrorism drained me of all I had left to give in any smart way.
I don't even want to tell you how long it took for me to get this much written down, because I am ashamed of how I've allowed myself to let go of my happy place, where I am free. I don't feel free to say or do as I choose. I know that I am; I just don't feel it.
Right now, I have so many things I want to tell you, but I can't seem to be able to invest enough heart to put it out there. Excavating my thoughts on emotional terrorism drained me of all I had left to give in any smart way.
I don't even want to tell you how long it took for me to get this much written down, because I am ashamed of how I've allowed myself to let go of my happy place, where I am free. I don't feel free to say or do as I choose. I know that I am; I just don't feel it.
Emotional Terrorism
When I was first contemplating the term emotional terrorism, I caught myself and began reflecting on whether or not I was putting hyperbole into action as I explore this avenue of thinking. So, I did some research by, first, looking up a few words in the dictionary, the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition to be precise.
I'm not sure if many (or any) of you are into reading dictionary definitions (we can't all be nerds), but I've found that understanding all the meanings of a word or words really sheds a great deal of light on how you can/should use the word(s) you took time to more fully comprehend. It also sheds light on the depth and severity of a situation when you know more facets of the words someone chooses to use when describing a situation or whatever the context may be without needing to know every unsavory detail.
That said, I believe there is something to this concept of emotional terrorism. It is not hyperbolic to relate a long-standing pattern of treatment that is peppered with narcissism; lying by omission; agitating in order to cause unnecessary anxieties; intimidation; appealing to emotions with intent to manipulate; and so on and so forth as being emotional terrorism. In fact, I believe it is aptly chosen when describing situations involving emotional wreckage inflicted outside of the power of the receiver to avoid or change. Whether witnessing as a third-party observer or being party to such treatment either by giving or receiving, it is rational to suppose that most people would agree these behaviors fit the mould as described within the aforementioned definitions. Albeit, the antagonist most likely would not readily admit to being such a character, but it would be true, nonetheless.
Emotional terrorism is a difficult thing to escape because emotions have been appealed to, loyalties have been secured then breached on many occasions in some instances, and there is always the chance that there is a hope for the person to one day turn things around and stop it.
But we must remember that there are no true victims here, once the situation is recognized for what it is: terrorism of the heart. One must take responsibility for cutting ties by not buying into lies, manipulation, half-truths, half-efforts, small tokens of care, and above all else, not giving unearned trust. Take responsibility for your emotional health.
As for me, I have realized that I have been soft-hearted and made a fool, and more. Due to realizing my part in adding to the unpleasantries now plaguing my life, I have adopted an official policy on emotional terrorism:
emotional:
1. of or relating to emotion 2. dominated or prone to emotion 3. appealing to or arousing emotion 4. markedly aroused or agitated in feeling or sensibilities
terrorism:
the systematic use of terror esp. as a means of coercion.
terror:
1. a state of intense fear 2a. one that inspires fear b. a frightening aspect c. a cause of anxiety; worry d. an appalling person or thing 3. REIGN OF TERROR [this is as it appeared in the text] 4. violent or destructive acts committed by groups in order to intimidate a population or government into granting their demands.
I'm not sure if many (or any) of you are into reading dictionary definitions (we can't all be nerds), but I've found that understanding all the meanings of a word or words really sheds a great deal of light on how you can/should use the word(s) you took time to more fully comprehend. It also sheds light on the depth and severity of a situation when you know more facets of the words someone chooses to use when describing a situation or whatever the context may be without needing to know every unsavory detail.
That said, I believe there is something to this concept of emotional terrorism. It is not hyperbolic to relate a long-standing pattern of treatment that is peppered with narcissism; lying by omission; agitating in order to cause unnecessary anxieties; intimidation; appealing to emotions with intent to manipulate; and so on and so forth as being emotional terrorism. In fact, I believe it is aptly chosen when describing situations involving emotional wreckage inflicted outside of the power of the receiver to avoid or change. Whether witnessing as a third-party observer or being party to such treatment either by giving or receiving, it is rational to suppose that most people would agree these behaviors fit the mould as described within the aforementioned definitions. Albeit, the antagonist most likely would not readily admit to being such a character, but it would be true, nonetheless.
Emotional terrorism is a difficult thing to escape because emotions have been appealed to, loyalties have been secured then breached on many occasions in some instances, and there is always the chance that there is a hope for the person to one day turn things around and stop it.
But we must remember that there are no true victims here, once the situation is recognized for what it is: terrorism of the heart. One must take responsibility for cutting ties by not buying into lies, manipulation, half-truths, half-efforts, small tokens of care, and above all else, not giving unearned trust. Take responsibility for your emotional health.
As for me, I have realized that I have been soft-hearted and made a fool, and more. Due to realizing my part in adding to the unpleasantries now plaguing my life, I have adopted an official policy on emotional terrorism:
I have no room for emotional terrorism in my life; I will not negotiate with emotional terrorists of any kind no matter who you are.
inspired by Ronald Reagan's statement on terrorism
My vote has been cast, and emotional terrorism is officially uninvited for reelection!
if you're reading this...
I don't know what to say, except thank you to everyone who reads my writing. There are so many undesirable things happening in my life right now, but writing has been one of the blessings. Discovering my voice and finding an audience are two things that add to my joy in life. It really has been a dream come true, and I'm just getting started. It is amazing to have so many people, who I haven't even met, wanting me to succeed and are willing to help me do it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
roller coasters
I used to think I liked roller coasters, until I had to live one. The ups and downs were such a thrill. Breathtaking delights they were. And now--now every up promises a down, not to mention turns requiring a twist. There's no need to take away breath. I forget to breathe long enough to make me dizzy.
I live a roller coaster, and I wish I could get off this ride, but it's not over, yet.
I live a roller coaster, and I wish I could get off this ride, but it's not over, yet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)