no more pretending

With every word you speak
I am reminded
Of the love you said you had
Yet there is no proof
In anything you say

With every thing you do
I am reminded
Of the care you swore you gave
Yet there is no proof
In actions past or present

You loved and served
Your self
And nothing more
The proof is found
In all the things that you hold dear

Stop pretending
That somehow you might
Get me to believe you
Like I did once
A very long time ago. 

patience

All day long, the people told their sides of the story. All day long, hearts were breaking. All day long prayers were said and felt and heard.

The battle finally came to a head and is over; after too many years, yes, it is unbelievably over, but the verdict is not in. As I ponder on the situation, I think of how life's battle is never over until the end--that there will be other challenges to come my way. Yet, I know to give credit to the experience I have gained throughout these past several years. Tears have taught me a great deal. Learning to forgive and how to better cherish time with my children have been two lessons, but the biggest and I think most helpful to me for personal growth has been patience.

The waiting hasn't even stopped yet, and maybe it won't ever really. However, I do know that I can wait and wait it out well, so I am content. 

One thing I'm not quite sure of is how to translate what I've gone through into making patience a virtue, but you know what they say...

every single one

4.

I never thought I'd be able to say this and mean it, but I really don't have a favorite scripture because I have learned to love so many of them. For this precise reason I decided to explore the idea of my Seeking to Become series.

Tell my 20 year-old self that I'd be writing something like this and I would probably have laughed in your face. My heart is humbled at the question, and I give thanks to God for the mighty change of heart I've had over the past several years.

The scriptures--every single one I have ever read--are my favorite. And I'm serious.

Silence

I have learned to embrace silence.
When people are on the hunt for blame and ridicule,
I withdraw
from the madness and lean into self reflection.
I embrace silence.

Searching, wanting, willing someone to be wrong,
Almost like a hunter looking for his prey,
Some people take their victims
With shutting out of conversations,
Twisting words, and demonizing.

No longer human
No longer worth their time
I withdraw
from the madness and lean into inherent worth.
I embrace silence. 

Hoping you might learn to love me
For who I am,
I stand aside
waiting in the silence.
Embracing it.




*Dedicated to every one who has ever stonewalled me.

I thank you for helping me to understand what love is not and to learn how to recognize my worth even in the most difficult of situations.

a slice of language barrier

The phrase "language barrier" wasn't imagined from nothing. Language is a type of gate. If we have full use of the language in our culture, we feel successful; we make friends; we can communicate our needs to others--our teachers, for one. When a student comes into the classroom, teachers need to help open the gate by taking the time to see if they are trapped behind a language barrier.

I am reminded of when I was a tutor at the community college from which I received my Associates degree. One of the students I was helping struggled terribly in her English writing course. In order to get to know why this seemingly bright individual might be having trouble, I decided to ask her about herself. I discovered that she was a refugee from Afghanistan and had the equivalent of a doctorate degree in her homeland, but due to the language barrier, she could not access her knowledge effectively in her new environment. 

The significance of her plight touched a chord that continues to reverberate through my heart. The ability to communicate opens doors—and a lack thereof can close and even lock them. 

Teachers have the opportunity to help students get the tools they need to access what they know, enabling students to experience encouragement and inclusion instead of failure or ostracism because they happen to be on the other side of the gate at the moment. 

Source: twowritingteachers.wordpress.com via The Purple on Pinterest