adieu

we said it a thousand times
but never really meant it until now
the anguish of hearts shoved it
even more between the lines
folded gently in as to make no noise
softly rolling down faces
onto their pillows so silently
paralyzingly exquisite
dreams now take on new shape
one piece taken from here and there
another became part of the landscape
when no one was looking
a hope personified and actualized
though it all remains a mystery yet
it must be said in action
without a word
for words have been worn out
worn out their welcome
and bourne more than their share
even blighted our memories
to never be undone or unsaid
to think of the impossible
being possible, being reality
its unbearable truth strikes
clear through the very soul of me
each tear bids you a somber
and sincere adieu 

the dark

17.

It might sound silly, but I still have a fear of the dark. It's not horribly debilitating, but every once in awhile I get weirded out and need almost all of the lights on in the house. Due to this fact, I cannot watch anything even remotely scary, and by scary I mean anything that puts you half way on the edge of your seat--even suspense in movies. I am such a little chicken when it comes to the dark, but at least I'll admit it. Right?

I'm not really sure why exactly, but I blame older family members scaring the daylights out of me when I was little. But, I will save that story for another day…

I Don't Care

splintered

three little words
said with so little thought
that it's not even worth it
to spell out the fourth

three unfeeling words
uttered by the unfeeling
so the hearer doesn't feel worth it
not worth their breath

three damaging words
repeatedly damaging
to the souls of all around
splinters felt by only those who still care

natural born sprinter

making it to the finish line
some how some way
it never stays in the same place
always moving, shifting
letting out another 20 yards
of hard sprint
out of breath
but going hard just as the end is in sight
it disappears
the race is not over
it's never over
at least not until it is really over
and I'm not ready for that

time slips by

not enough time for anything
everything takes so much
bankrupt at birth
yet as we grow older
we can't seem to have enough still
someday I will have an eternity of time
and I might spend it all visiting
with friends

fiercely

Always a fighter
now I know why
a time would come
when I would need
to fight for you
and win

Heaven sent

Questions pepper my thoughts
Running wild with no answers in sight
I look to my center to find peace
Reflecting on God's spirit
That holy blessing keeps me together
On the worst days, I am comforted
Angels surround me both from heaven
And on earth, lifting me
Helping and guiding
To find so much love
In the eyes of friends
Where we find the stuff of heaven

time-lapsed photography

blades of life sprouting

freshly hewn striving struggling

silent renewal

words escape me

no words, just fascination

shaking
maybe something more like trembling
so many friends
are they just pretending?
wishing
always wishing
why?
come so far
through so much
but it never seems to end
I must secretly love trouble
traveling--that's what I want to do
see new places
visit family
New York
Texas
British Isles
yes, family
sweet reunion
I long for that
someone to call my own
children are that
my wonderful, mess-making children
they are so much
life's breath
will someone who is not my own
choose to stay
forever?
humming
outside my window
the world is waiting
for me to start my day
writing
always writing
living the dream
from so long ago
still wishing
for more

for my daughter, my niece

written on the wind
a wisp of pure trusting love
bonded for ever

all at once

grasping at courage one strand at a time
stopping to smell the unpicked roses
wanting to cry from inner anguish
laughing out loud with friends
worrying over the unknown future
planning goals with hope and a prayer
dreaming dreams that sparkle and rush
waking from nightmares all too real
striving to know all that I should
speeding along through life
gripping the seat for the wild ride

There is...

There is so much to say
to feel
to learn
to know

There is not time enough
for all we want to do
to touch
to create
to finish

There is always something more
that lays hidden in the things
we need to see
to comprehend
to embrace
to love

a day in the life of a son

He went out into the world
To learn a thing or two
Got dirty with tinkering
Time well spent

He came home
Emboldened
Filled with knowledge
New found skills

Not just knowing things
But he arrived back
With something more
He came home with confidence

right now

breathless
waiting
wishing
heart beating
alive
more than ever
watching
hoping
creating
thinking
too much

Becoming Lovely

Frost bitten loveliness
Forcing its beauty on the world
Sun's rays are its accomplice
Pushing aside snow and ice

Blooming amidst trying times
Vibrancy beyond description
Rich and glorious in overcoming
Persistently perfect in becoming

pass it along

too much sadness to go around
so we must share it with our neighbor
take a helping and pass it along
and we can make it through together

too much work for one set of hands
so we must be the hands that help
share your strength of mind and heart
and help will come when you need a friend

my baptism day

15.

All I remember about my baptism day is that my mom couldn't come because my baby brother was very sick. I felt so saddened that she couldn't be there that I didn't allow myself to feel the happiness that should have come to me. I am grateful for the decision to be baptized, but if I could go back, I would ask my parents to postpone it until all of my family could be there together.

My life is blessed because of my membership in the church, and I invite all who would like to know more to visit lds.org that you might see for yourself. 

that little something

The glint in the eye of a mischievous child
The lingering of a hug between friends about to part
The upturn of a smile in someone you have long missed
The knowing glance across the desk from a respected teacher
The comforting warmth in the holding of hands
The spring in the step of a truly happy person
The scent found on the crook of a lover's neck


 

a wish is born

a wish keeps wanting to escape me
off the tip of my tongue
it tries to leap
toward a future unforeseeable
into the wild, blue yonder

awake and face the truth!
really look at what you can do!
and then there is a pause
but imagination takes its place
pushing the wish over the cliff

in flight

watch me breaking free

sprouting wings on which to fly

no shell can hold this

regret

The struggle seems light from this vantage point
It was all worth it looking back in hindsight
Feeling celebratory and smiling in the end
Yet, despite the happiness, I am feeling something more--
An abiding sense of regret

No regret for my actions
No regret for how things are now
Only a small hint of regret,
Better still--a haunting whisper of regret
A tangly, messed up, sharp and painful twinge of regret

Regret for the crossroads that we happened upon
Regret and disappointment in the directions we went
On our merry ways--never to cross happy paths again
Regret for the bitterness and anguish of heart
Of which I never dreamt I'd taste

Delicious Memory

happy

I could sing a song
And dance a dance
And sing a while more
For life as I've know it
Has finally ended
And started up anew
Come sing with me
And kick up your feet
And we'll dance
And sing
And be

magnificent

Gifts resplendent were laid across my path this day
Gentle words, lovingkindness, appreciation
An overflowing well of pure, sparkling inspiration

A glimmering smile lit my shadowed face
Wondrous and  unforeseen, sheer delight
Such generosity of spirit sharing its depth and height

No longer feeling the drought within this heart
Drawing upon lines of uncomplicated sincerity
Drinking from the cup of an everlasting amity

Pushing me to see with deepened vision
My priceless gift—full to the brim with felicity
Leaving no room for bleak opacity

how to love

14.

I learned how to love from them
They loved with fierce loyalty
Loving everyone, but never caring too much
Life was their business
Knowing when to make it theirs and when not
With all their faults
They knew how to love
And love is essential for life

Learning to love from such masters
Has not been an easy task
They taught by example
With very few words
Forced to read between their lines
And have loss teach the last measure
That they loved everyone
And it was enough

dance!

the rhythm hits the air
like a fireworks explosion
the feet get to the floor
faster than a bullet train to its destination

calling beckoning begging
pushing her to dance
moving sweating following
the lead that she pushes against
sliding spinning swinging
like the song will never end

their rhythm cuts through the crowd
like a knife through butter
their feet glide across the floor
faster than rocks skipping across a lake

a daydream

switchback

The paths of our lives
twist and turn
As if on a continuous
switchback
through the mountains
Climbing and waiting
for the trail to end
Waiting for
something new
Always wishing
for better
Pining for
an easier view
But it's everlastingly
up hill
Never down
If you want to really get
somewhere
Anywhere but down
Sends you through
the clouds
Of happy days
and sad ones
That make you
hope
For what is
next
around the
bend

Cinderella

Dancing, swinging, and swaying
Talking and laughing
Earrings flying, makeup sweating
Glitter and swirling skirts
A permissible peep show of sorts
The shoes, the hands, the hips
Everything spinning
The girl, the lights, the room

And then it's over

Driving home with music blaring
Wishing for one more dance
Before the clock strikes twelve
When the frock comes off
And shoes are tucked away
But not until the layers of makeup
Come peeling off does she realize
Cinderella must have felt this too

a friend

soothing thoughtfulness

piercing warmth as the sun's rays

stream through this dense fog

uncaged heart

You wrote your heart upon my sleeve
With ink which never washes out
You promised you would never leave
Forever us—without a doubt

When did always end?
Where was that road's fork?

The writing on the wall has said
More to me than you ever had
Deciphered actions broken down
Wings become her home—she has flown


related link:

Trapped

my most valuable gems

Since this was meant for inside a private journal, I will take license and interpret this prompt as a poem.

13.

Suzie Kabloozie, an Autumn-born treasure
Provided my first lessons on being a mother
Learned slower than most--seemed at her leisure
Cheerful and sweet, the darlingest ever
Accepting Autism revealed my angel full measure

My Little Buddy, born in the desert
Ready for life sooner than most
Kicked his way out
Hasn't stopped yet
A blessed run for my money

If ever there was a mini-me child
It is Her Royal Highness, my Little "D"
Temperament is caring and mild
Except when she's wild
Then, watch out--nothing can save thee

Mommy's Sweet Guy, so tender and quiet
Came down to Earth after a blizzard
A bookend who teaches me more
Every day as we strive to move forward
He leans on me to show him how far

Source: poets.org via The Purple on Pinterest