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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...


Each day has new discoveries, and sometimes a word is one because you make it up.

Divorcedness is a condition you feel when you don't think you fit in because you either got a divorce or you're a child from a divorced couple. Oftentimes divorcedness is something you can't see, and no one else can measure the height or depth of which it is felt. Even still, if it is perceived, it is up to the sufferer to overcome this temporary condition.

I'd like to share that I no longer feel my divorcedness to the paralyzing levels I once did. I see how my family is wonderful albeit fatherless in most ways, some of the most important ways. I take my children everywhere families typically go, and I refuse to stand at the back of any room to keep out of the way of the "whole" families. I don't mean to say that I don't want a father figure for my children because that's not true, but I am thankful that I have found the courage to step up and keep joining in, instead of hiding in corners.

Now, I just need to convince my children. 


  1. Good word to express what you are going through- and one that I know I can relate to. Your kids will thank you in the future for being there for them and with them.

  2. I enjoyed your post! You were honest and wrote what was on your mind, and that's exactly what we tell our students. I like your made-up word! You are not alone at feeling this way.

  3. I am a child of divorcedness. My mom did exactly what you just described. I had a loving, happy childhood and I am a loving, happy adult. You can do this. :)

  4. "I am thankful that I have found the courage to step up and keep joining in, instead of hiding in corners." Bravo for you - you've taken that first step of empowerment.


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