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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

the weather



Rushing past one another like white water in a ripping river mid summer
Or like turbulent wind whipping through a canyon each fall.
Both of us damaged by an unforgiving frost that sears the ground in winter.
Yet even still—you still were able to stop long enough
To see me. 

Turning winter to spring eternal,
You, who claims to be broken, 
You, who claims to not be able to,
Have loved me enough
To slow down and cherish me,
To cherish us.

You saw me before I showed you
All the hurt and scars.
You held me in your arms
With words and music, 
And then you let me in 
To witness your brilliant heart
Trusting me with more than either ever thought
We could share and still withstand the unrelenting weather.

You took me in your arms to dance
One starry night never to be the same—you and me. 
You witnessed the tears with love and care.
You share with me things you will not write out anymore—please begin again.

Save us from the burning coals
Of misguided gallantry
That stand to burn our bridge as we build it. 

I saw you before you showed me 
All the hurt and scars. 
I sang to you the song
You hadn't heard for too long, 
And then I let you in
To witness my stalwart love
Trusting you with more than either ever thought
We could share and still withstand the unbending weather.

Leap into the light. 
Take my hand, my darling friend.
Allow me to show you what I know
That we might have a proper chance.

Rescue your heart 
From the frostbite 
That threatens to keep you down. 

We saw each other before we showed ourselves
All the tender care we shared as it began to heal our hearts. 
We nurture and care for one another
Like we've never truly had with any other, 
And now the time is near 
For letting go of fear
Trusting ourselves—trusting us—with more than we ever thought
We could share as we prove this bond shall bring us through 
Every type of weather.






Words in italics by C.T. Duncan




you

Denver, Colorado 


I'm learning why girls hide.
Why they don't just let themselves feel.
Why love can't be let loose to simply be given in return.
Show me that I can show you.

I'm learning why trust is a gift.
To have it and to give it.
To be honest enough to deserve it.
Give it, so I can have it.

I'm learning how to live again.
To live with different pain.
To smile through new suffering.
Take a chance for us.

I'm learning how to love authentically.
Why I want to care no matter what.
To live half breathing
Because I'm missing something…









find the time


The world spins at the same rate
For everyone out of the gate.
The same hours and minutes,
For each day, something we can trust. 

How can the warmth continue
How can the smiles renew

How the days do linger as they fly.








pain




Beyond the edge of it all
I stand suspended without 
Watching the masses pick and prey
Leaving the scraps

What is leftover
Of time, care, and effort
When one is spread too thinly
Gingerly working to make ends meet

Grateful for each morsel sent my way
Not realizing I was so far away
From having something valued
Believing and valuing everything.

Pain emanating from a fresh wound
From taking for granted
The love layered and stitched 
In her heart for always planted

Cutting to the heart of the matter
Time will take her toll
It must be paid
And even still I want more

Not wanted how she wanted (wants)
On the outskirts still
Now but Forever
Rejecting the ego

Crushing damned ego
That kills the kindhearted
Breaking tender branches
Growing together

A hurricane 
A tempest
A loving soul
A mess

None of this makes sense.














is it wrong?



To want someone
to love me how I need 

To want flowers on occasion
that I don't buy for myself

To be someone 
who isn't just a nice idea

To be loved enough
that I am essential to his happiness

To wish for things 
that apparently no one wants to have with me