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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

snow!



39.

It snowed only a couple of times ever while I was growing up in Las Vegas. It was a rare treat that never stuck for long when it did grace us with its presence. I think that's partly why I love snow so much. There is something so magical to me about snow. Many people love Las Vegas because of its warm temperatures, but give me the snow!

I wrote about some things we did to enjoy the the snow here: The Snow Lay on the Ground


healthy living



38.

I don't know how I feel about these two questions! But here goes.

My secret to good health is probably to enjoy it while it lasts, and then go to the doctor when it isn't so good. I do believe in hand washing religiously. My children and I are not sick very often, and I attribute that to my demanding of them to wash hands when we come home from places such as school, stores, playing with friends, and so on. It's so simple, but I think it helps.

And now to how it is to live with me? Good grief.

I like having help from anyone who lives with me regardless of age. That expectation can get me feeling impatient, and I don't like that. So, I try to find ways to communicate what I need, and I hope things aren't too bad for anyone living with me. Well, my kids can just get over it, but you know what I mean. As of late, I have been quite the definition of a hot mess as far as my bedroom, study, and craft room go, so my disorganized state might bother some people. I am really looking forward to Christmas break just so I can unwind and get things organized! Maybe I will become easier to live with then.


uniquely talented



37.

One talent I can think of right off the top of my head that was handed down to me is being able to talk to anyone. My dad used to embarrass me so much in grocery stores and on the side of the road, but now I see why he did it, and I do it, too. He'd stop anyone who looked distressed and ask how they were doing--and really want to know the answer. I remember one time when he had a feeling about a guy walking down the street as we were driving down the road. He said that guy looks like he needs help, so he stopped and asked him if he could use a ride, and the man said yes. Long story short, the man ended up needing money, shelter, and someone to care for his daughter while he found work or something in another state. I'm not sure how long his daughter was with us, but I remember sharing my room for what I thought was a week or two.

That brings me to another talent that has been passed down to me. My parents had an open door to anyone who needed somewhere to stay. We had cousins in and out of our house like there was a revolving door, and many aunts and uncles had a turn at the family hotel. Everyone knew that if they were having a tough time themselves or with their children, my parents would welcome them with no judgment and offer all the assistance possible. Even a stranger from the side of the road could tell my parents could be trusted with his child so he could get on his feet.

These might not seem like talents in a traditional sense, but they truly are talents, and I have embraced them. I haven't quite mastered some aspects, but I believe that I was handed down the talent of being seen as someone people can tell things to, as well as someone who maintains a home where people can come to feel loved.

I'm not perfect at them yet, but these are two talents that I try to cultivate and hope to master before my life is done.


tired

I wonder sometimes about how everything will turn out. To skim the surface for so long when you have so many hopes and dreams cannot make for a very promising future. I work so hard only to barely make it. And what I'm finding out is that somehow people think I'm doing so great considering my circumstances. I don't feel so great. I feel like I won't ever be able to get out of this place I'm in. I go to counseling, and everything doesn't seem so bad, but then I have days like today when I just want someone to be by my side helping me. I'm tired of being strong all by myself, having to make all the difficult decisions alone. My heart has too many holes left gaping. I'm tired of waiting for nothing to happen, never able to take care of myself. I recognize that I am surrounded by blessings. Without them, I could not go on. Yet on days like today, I can hardly put one foot in front of the other. There aren't enough shoulders to cry on. There are not enough words to quell the flood of emotions. And only tears come. 

to stop is to live



Precious moments keep slipping past
Slipping through my fingers
Yet as I feel each moment 
Leaving quickly from the present
I reach out, stopping to grab hold
Of a glimmer of the beauty
That only living life can provide
Grasping on almost too tightly
Because I don't want to lose 
One more minute of treasured time
To the ticking of the clock