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This Phoenix Speaks
Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...
raw light
A piece of sky
I never thought I'd leave
A ray of sunshine captured
To make me sing
When I can't see
When life is dark and blurred
Blue to bring me out of the blue
That besets this heart
As my feet take me somewhere new
That sun, that glorious unfiltered sun
My anchor when I want to run
Softly going are those darling clouds
When my world waxes too loud
Raw light to burn away the tears that stain this face
puzzles
It's funny how we forget the little things
After awhile it all blends together
The details get lost in the everyday
Skills are taken for granted
And we expect everything to keep on going
What about when the everyday
Isn't an everyday sort of thing
What about when it blending together
Causes the good to stand out
I say the special ones are the most special
Life is a puzzle.
Autism is a puzzle.
But friends?
Friends should never be a a puzzle.
We should know how much people care
Because we are right there
Caring right back
The puzzle makes more sense
Life is bright
And we are making our way one step at a time
soon
Surprises coming from every direction
Lighting our way to the future
Simple things, big things, wonderful things
All pointing us toward a joyful end
Surprising is the weight some things hold
A look, a hug, a listening ear
To keep us going
Keeping us looking up
Hope can be what gets us through
Sheer hope and wanting something more
Send me some on wings of love
Packaged with a bow on top
Hoping for a good wind
To get us home soon
slipped
Days running into weeks
And so forth
That's how it happens
That is precisely how time
Slips through your fingers
And you cannot get it back
And you cannot even try
It's like a wrinkle in time
Two days slipped into one
Without even knowing
Until a glance at the calendar
Calendars are not our friends
They only pretend to be
As they document just how quickly
Time slips past us—like a thief
all I want
All I want is for my family to be happy
How does that happen?
Each person
One by one
Reaching out
With love
Understanding
Forgiveness
Tolerance
All I want is for my family to know
How much I love them
Despite my flaws
I care and will
Reach out
With all the love
Care and concern
That I can muster
Because that's what family does
never thought
I never thought I'd stop to smell the violas
Yet not have some for myself
I never thought I'd take so many pictures
Yet have so little to show for it
I never thought I'd love with such depth
Yet not have someone for myself
I never thought I'd be friends with so many people
Yet have so little returned
I never thought I'd be who I am
Yet here we are
that sky
Wrapped up in that sky
Lies every happy thought
Tied to every cloud
Is the hope of every heart
Hellos
Goodbyes
Forevers
Nevers
The magnificence is almost too much
Glorious beauty
That will make you cry
With joy or grief
Depending on the day
The circumstance
Depending on the person
You're standing with
nightlife
dance with me
save me from the cold night
twirl me across the floor
a million times
before we can't
show up for me
remind me why I love to dance
as we listen to another song
that becomes one of ours
for the long haul
come be with me
treat me like I deserve
worth more than a casual
chat now and then
but a full dance card forever—with you
perfumed memory
Caught in the details where no one wants to be
She touched every little speck of everything
To be sure nothing special was overlooked
Although in the very moment she felt that way herself
The sights and sounds and smells
Of every memory flooding the rooms
She walks through, taking pictures
With her camera and her heart
Glass and perfume create a shiny thought
To hold onto when the long days turn dull
As the time grows thinner and thinner
Making way for the renewed, only scented by the past
fog
You rolled in on a song
Like a fog that changes everything
Changing the landscape into
Something new, something unrecognizable
Something beautiful, something more
And it all looked like hope personified
You broke through the clouds
Like the sun at dawn
Breaking down my walls
Refusing to let the shadows stay
Teaching me to smile again
Teaching me to shine again
But then you evaporated like a mist
A fog that leaves when the sun comes out
how much love
Lost, misplaced, or taken from us
When you pause to ponder what is gone, you realize
With startled breath, why the loss hurts so much
You see just how valuable precious hearts are
You might taste the bitter cup of regret
But hopefully it's deservedly not too much
Hopefully—you feel the gentleness
Of velvet friendship lasting into forever
Losing yourself in joy over grief, loving double as much
potty-mouthery
Written on a dare…
Back in the day, when life was much simpler
My mother made sure she taught us good grammar
All we had to do to really impress her
Was keep away from words such as crap—among others
You surely might laugh at its simplicity
But maybe you didn't know my mother's sincerity
Words like uncouth and you should know better
Flowed like water midst trashy potty-mouthery
Giving her a real run for her money
Me and five brothers thought we were pretty funny
When all is said and done, blame it on my daddy
His sailor mouth set us up extra special chatty
And if my kids are smart, knowing what's good for them
They'll do themselves a favor and listen to their granny
…And now I need a couple of cousins to beatbox this baby.
lace
Lace me up, so I can be ready for the day
The long day that is coming on ever too quickly
Tie a bow around the lamppost to help us remember
Remember how we needed each other
And probably still do
The sky never looked so anything but blue
With a heart holding out hope constant, true
Take me on, so we might be ready for the future
The effervescent future that begins the day we start
Find your way around the bend to make it here soon
Sooner the better, darling
The sooner the better
I'll sit down now and write it all in a letter
While my heart holds on for love unfettered
where I live now
Delicate breaths, like rose petals barely clinging, are where I live now
Trying not to lose sight of the beauty all about
Trying not to ruin anything that could be good
Careful steps, like walking across a sea of broken glass, are where I live now
Avoiding taking too much from anyone
Avoiding needing too much when I can
Sleeplessness and a pounding heart, like an alarm that never ceases, are where I live now
Slowing down, canceling plans, and trying to breathe
Slowing down my thoughts and hopes and dreams
Displaced, like a cut flower wanting for a vase, is where I live now
Reminding myself this isn't going to last forever
Reminding myself that it very well could
my almond joy
Tiny blossoms to look forward to each year
Soft and fresh and delicate
Each spring when they finally unfold
Displaying their hope for the future
When their time arrives to shine
I will not be there to see this time
But in my heart, every spring, I will recall
The joy each blossom gave simply by existing
treasured relics
At great personal sacrifice
Though humbly borne
Most utterly humbly borne
Breaking down the man
Chipping away at all vice
To mould him into something more
Something so different and more
We had to get to know him again
The pain, the suffering, the inexplainable
Carving out the wicked temper
As it tempered his soul
Tempered it with pain and anguish
Regret, remorse, and repentance
Standing still—sitting still—lying still
In order to move forward
Enabled to stand taller than before
Clothespins and baskets to hold instead of hammers
Hope and a promise of purpose
And being needed more than ever
Still needed though his place
Seemed precarious after the many
Many years always
Having to stand on his own two feet
Supporting the world with his bare hands
Holding onto clothespins
With those hands
As if the world depended on it
Religiously fighting the good fight
Against the piles of clothes
And lost socks for days on end
My father showed us all how
Clothespins can be treasure when you love someone
practically magic
It's no mystery that if you save your money
You'll have something to tide you over
If—when—life gets you down
But the truth of the matter is
You might end up with holes in your pockets
Where you once believed
Security and calm
Would help you stay afloat
When emptiness is a state of being
Money makes the world go 'round
They say
Nonetheless, I say it doesn't
Except when you use it for good
In that case, it's practically magic
As it transforms a life
Changes everything
Even if you've got holes in your pockets
Where safe deposit boxes once were
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