family

31.

My greatest joy and my greatest sorrow are forever intertwined. Being part of a family and creating one of my own has been my greatest joy. Alas, the profound problems, in varying degrees, associated with family members (not excluding my marriage) are my greatest sorrow. It is all part of one whole which cannot be sorted out or separated.

Family brings joy and sorrow for me, and I believe it has been this way continually throughout my existence.

Seeking to Become: August 2013

This month marks two years of doing this Seeking to Become series, and I have to say it has been a very good thing for my personal growth. I missed a couple of months this past year, so it hasn't been as faithful of an endeavor, but the benefits have been measurable, all the same. Challenging myself amidst the difficult trials of life that I am facing has given me a positive focus, and it is enriching to have a few people here and there piping in from time to time. My hope is that, as I continue to seek to become more like the Savior, I will be able to rise above my weaknesses with more strength than before, that I might be able to get to know Christ better by walking in his ways.

As this next year of challenges arise, I look forward to more participation and reflection. 

Throughout July and even now, I have been thinking a great deal on the state of affairs in my home--how the divorce is affecting my children--and I came across these verses in Jeremiah which have brought me great comfort and focus.

Thus saith the Lord; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the Lord; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy.

And there is hope for thy future, saith the Lord, that thy children shall come again to their own border. 

Jeremiah 31: 16-17

I intend to work more diligently to refrain from weeping and worry, placing extra emphasis on the goal this month. Please join me, if you will.

For your reading pleasure, I have included links to this past year's series, as well as the introduction from August 2011:

Introduction - August 2011

Humility - September 2012

Comfort - October 2012

Replenishment - November 2012

Loving others - December 2012

Defend and do justice - January 2013

Fear not - February 2013

Love - March 2013

An epistle of Christ - May 2013

Service - June 2013

broken hearts

I walked gently into the night,
Breathing in every sound and sight
Stars glimmering through it all, unknowing
Dread fills me as I realize I am loving
Someone, you, who cannot give
What I need to keep going, to live

People, poets, speak of broken hearts,
To redundancy, in the name of art
And here I am doing it, too
Much has been said, I knew
You for so long, so long
We have been two hearts
Apart and yet still one thought
Brings it back and we are one

Momentarily

About that heart
That fractured, broken heart
With no home
No owner
Because I won't even claim it
I turn my back in utter grief
Knowing it could have been
If only...
If
If
If
If only I would not have gone
Gently into that night with you
I might still have some shred
Of nothing to hang onto

So now I see that I chose
A broken heart.
For better or worse,
I chose.

Longing for Home: Delightful!

 

Longing for Home: A Proper Romance by Sarah M. Eden

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Longing for Home, by Sarah M. Eden, begins out on a trail that takes the Ireland-born Katie Macauley to the small town of Hope Springs, Wyoming to figure out what home really means. I, too, was carried along for the ride in more ways than one.

The concept of what home is has been something I've thought about quite often, and so this beautiful Irish-threaded story struck a harmonious chord for me. The elegant stitching of Irish dialect and 1800s American colloquialisms creates a language delight that transports you into the story's world. Because of her apparent Irish flair, I wanted to get to know Katie better and see where her efforts would take her, and Eden does not disappoint. Excellent character development, intriguing plot twists, and delicious foreshadowing make for a page-turner novel you won't want to put down.

One of my favorite quotes from Longing for Home:

"When a man finds such a treasure, he doesn't part with her for anything."
     -- Tavish O'Connor, talking about his horse.

I know this is jumping the gun a bit since the giveaway on my blog doesn't start until August 6th, but I just couldn't hold in the excitement from reading this refreshingly romantic tale.

View all my reviews

overcoming negativity

30.

I need to come up with three good qualities about myself, but every time I think of something to write down, negativity comes in with a resounding rebuttal. Is it a type of sickness to believe you have good qualities but not feel worthy to voice the belief? I suggest that it is.

To combat this deplorable sense of inadequacy, I reached out to the world over the past couple of days so that I might see what they see, instead of being blinded by this omniscient perspective that keeps insisting I add qualifiers to any nice thing I attempt to declare about myself. Here are some things that other people said I'm good at or are good qualities about me: 

writing, poetry, being a good mom

smart, outspoken, kind

gorgeous

loyal, friendly, smart

kind, compassionate, empathetic

beautiful, witty, kind

diligent, hard-working, dedicated

friendly, helpful, kind

an infectious laugh, you are very beautiful, and you have a strong command of our crazy language

I purposefully highlight this list in order to place literal emphasis on these positive sentiments that were generously expressed so that I might allow myself to believe them--so I might be brave enough to make a list of my own.

And still, it proves too difficult. I blame myself for this lack of confidence. I have allowed a great deal of negativity to seep into the cracks of my imperfection, only to break my resolve to never forget my divine worth. How could I let this happen? Why would someone like me allow anyone, especially my own self, to denigrate one of God's creations? It doesn't seem right or good. And I submit to you that it is wrong to do such a thing--most especially to ourselves.

If I can't love myself, how much love do I have to give others? I should think not enough, certainly not enough required for being the type of mother I aspire to be or the type of friend I attempt to emulate as I experience friendship from others or the gift to humanity that we all truly are when doing our personal best.

That I might not be a hypocrite deluxe, I shall write this list. I will overcome the negative voices in my head, but in return for my exercise of great courage, I ask for you to be brave and share three of your good qualities, too. Share this with others who need encouragement to overcome negativity. Let us celebrate the goodness within, with nothing added to blacken it.

Three good qualities about me:

1. Passionate
2. Creative
3. Intuitive

out of the mouth of babes