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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

overcoming negativity


I need to come up with three good qualities about myself, but every time I think of something to write down, negativity comes in with a resounding rebuttal. Is it a type of sickness to believe you have good qualities but not feel worthy to voice the belief? I suggest that it is.

To combat this deplorable sense of inadequacy, I reached out to the world over the past couple of days so that I might see what they see, instead of being blinded by this omniscient perspective that keeps insisting I add qualifiers to any nice thing I attempt to declare about myself. Here are some things that other people said I'm good at or are good qualities about me: 
writing, poetry, being a good mom
smart, outspoken, kind
loyal, friendly, smart
kind, compassionate, empathetic
beautiful, witty, kind
diligent, hard-working, dedicated
friendly, helpful, kind
an infectious laugh, you are very beautiful, and you have a strong command of our crazy language

I purposefully highlight this list in order to place literal emphasis on these positive sentiments that were generously expressed so that I might allow myself to believe them--so I might be brave enough to make a list of my own.

And still, it proves too difficult. I blame myself for this lack of confidence. I have allowed a great deal of negativity to seep into the cracks of my imperfection, only to break my resolve to never forget my divine worth. How could I let this happen? Why would someone like me allow anyone, especially my own self, to denigrate one of God's creations? It doesn't seem right or good. And I submit to you that it is wrong to do such a thing--most especially to ourselves.

If I can't love myself, how much love do I have to give others? I should think not enough, certainly not enough required for being the type of mother I aspire to be or the type of friend I attempt to emulate as I experience friendship from others or the gift to humanity that we all truly are when doing our personal best.

That I might not be a hypocrite deluxe, I shall write this list. I will overcome the negative voices in my head, but in return for my exercise of great courage, I ask for you to be brave and share three of your good qualities, too. Share this with others who need encouragement to overcome negativity. Let us celebrate the goodness within, with nothing added to blacken it.

Three good qualities about me:

1. Passionate
2. Creative
3. Intuitive
out of the mouth of babes


  1. 1. Curious
    2. Punctual
    3. Loyal

  2. It is absolutely heartbreaking to me that you are going through this garbage right now, and having experienced it alongside my mother (through two divorces), I know how utterly worthless the process can make you feel. I am proud of you; though, for having the courage to break through the negativity and find the positive. And maybe you don't realize it, but you do it on a constant basis. You don't give yourself nearly enough credit, Lar. You are constantly giving of yourself when you have little (to nothing some days) to give, and you inspire others to to see the good in themselves and to overcome obstacles in their own lives. You have such a great influence on those around you - especially the ones who understand your sincerity and cherish your contribution to their lives. I personally am grateful for you and I am always here for you - whether it be a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent your frustrations. Love you.

    P.S. I know you have already read my three qualities, but here they are: http://luckbethislady.blogspot.com/2013/07/three-good-qualities.html


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