come

Come closer, darling, you. 

This heart can't rest until you do. 

Each passing day, even by the hour, 

She survives again and again

Without fail, without you. 

You are not needed to merely make it, 

Yet you are wanted—

Wanted for your love,

Wanted for your differences,

Wanted for the way that you are,

Wanted for the ways that you are not.

Come near, sweet, you. 

This life holds less savor

Without the brightness you bring.

She is warmed every day

With the fire within her heart, 

But sunshine never looked so good

As when reflected off your countenance—

Your kind smile,

Your humble stance,

Your knowing eyes,

Your way of seeing to her heart. 

Set aside the worry and the world, 

And come be with me, my friend and confidante. 

changing every day

I am looking out the window of my newly reconfigured office, and I have the word change on my mind.

People talk a lot about change: the way we don't like change and people resist change, how people change all the time, that change is inevitable, so we need to make choices to change for the better. Change, change, change. I have found that I like change, not all change, mind you, but for the most part.

As we grow older (and hopefully up), change is inherent in the human experience. Anyone selling you that trash about how you shouldn't change is full of it and ought not be trusted that they have your best interest at heart. Seek out how to change—to adapt—and life seems to be kept on simpler terms because you're at least almost ready for the next hill or mountain you need to climb. And those hills and mountains come because that is life. That is change. It is how we learn and grow into who we are meant to become. 

The one thing that I watch for amidst all the fine tuning that happens day by day is how I make sure to keep people in my life. If you don't use some of the time you've been given on them, the degrees of separation become greater. There are some people that I want no degree of separation from. I never want to lose them from my life. However, if effort isn't made amidst all the change, they won't fit anywhere. There won't be room after even a year's worth of life's reconfigurations. 

We change every day, and hopefully, it's always leading us to become our best self and bringing us closer to the people who make our lives worth living.

remembering now

As the summer progresses and the chores list gets longer and the projects beg for more time, I find myself in the midst of memory making that keeps catching my breath.

I never thought I'd stop to relish the yelling of a teen girl (when she's not looking, of course). I honestly never believed I'd be able to savor the idea and actual event of my children going off for a week of summer camp. I surely never thought I could find joy in driving around town running errands until I'm exhausted just to have some time away from the house with all its chores, projects, and problems.

I've even taken to trying to find a way to love the struggles I experience as time goes by and there's no one who wants us. I see how much I can do myself to be happy along with what is left with no solution, and I find a way to be content. This process will either teach me how to be a better companion, a more grateful and giving one, or it will harden me against the cruel world, so I believe it is a good thing.

Realizing how often I take a moment in the moment to relish, savor, and enjoy these mundane and even traumatic experiences, the only thing to do is make sure I write about it as much as I can. I want to remember these summer days when I learned the value of time spent with people I love and how to manage finding joy in every aspect.

There's this song I've been obsessed with over the past month that I'd like to share with you.  It gets me crying some days, and on the others, it's a delightful reminder that now is the time to remember. Now is the time to make sure the time is spent well and with whom I love most; tomorrow is not when we make memories that take our breath away.

This is the Time to Remember

more than a story

“Reader, be assured this narrative is no fiction.” 
― W.E.B. Du Bois


In every word I write
Poetry and prose
Between every line
Even within the spaces
Between punctuation
There is a truth to be had
A silence that speaks
An emotion of truth
And desire
And hope
All true

In every word I write
There is more to every word
I speak
Holding my breath bated
There is more to every word
I keep
Held within my splintering heart
Where I hide from the hurt
Where I save up my courage
To feel the joy I deserve
To know that I am worth it

In every word I write
Poetry and prose
You will find pieces of me
Part and parcel, lain out to dry
And if you care enough
If you look and listen and try
You will see all of me
One day
Someday
And find your way
And stay

my inspiration

I got news today that The Purple Lady of Santa Maria, CA has passed away.

While I never had the opportunity to meet her, she was my inspiration when I was having my identity crisis as my divorce became inevitable. I thought about how she lived with such gusto for this color and how she made an impression on my young mind as a child that I couldn't forget her even though I had never met her.

From the first time I heard about her, I wanted to make an impact like her. When the divorce began, I wanted to know who I am despite the troubles that plagued me. I wanted to show the world that I could make it and not have to be dragged down by lack of a name to call my own because I would make one for myself. I would write and share my journey with a nom de plume.

The only things I know about that Purple Lady personally are the things I've read on other blogs and old news articles, but I feel like if I could have met her, she and I would have gone on for hours talking about this color that stands out above the rest.

She will always be remembered in my heart for inspiring my heart as a child and then helping me make my way through the treacherous waters of divorce. I might not have my legal identity settled, but my creativity and inner self has always had a name to share with the world because of her inspiration, and I will forever be thankful for her example of celebrating life with purple vibrancy.


Related Links:

Origin of The Purple Lady

A Little Research Goes a Long Way

How the Infatuation Began