made glorious

The colors that I see around me
Tell a love story of hope and grit
Determined beauty everywhere I look
The journey of a thousand steps
Up hills and mountains we continue to climb
And through the valleys of grief we've gone
Still alive after the long winter of our discontent
Thriving as we strive toward endless summer
Made glorious by the eternal gift of the Sun
Our hearts are on the mend and blending in
With all the joy and grief intermingled
Awakening a fervent gratitude
A resilient hope
A cleansing fire of faith
Wherein our hearts may find comfort
In all the colors that we see
God is here walking alongside us
As we write our story with every step
Toward Him

to write a letter

Press the pause button on life. Take a minute to breathe. Think about who might want or need an encouraging word. Maybe someone needs to know you love them. Maybe your heart needs to communicate in order to keep going. Get out your favorite pen (or pencil for any savages out there). Find some stationery, lined paper, or notecards. Let your fingers feel the hum of the paper's texture. Choose. Choose the first word—Dear, Dearest, a name. Then let your mind rest upon the page. Write a few words or many, but be sure to write truth and love. Take a minute to breathe. Press the start button once again and put the letter in the mail.

delight

Remembering what it was like to hold you in your night
And thinking how your trust was like a bud not yet bloomed,
Affection grows within my soul
As the sun breaking across the valley floor.

Your heart was beating within your chest,
Beating against my chest,
Showing your soft humanity in that embrace
With every exhaled breath.

You gave me something I had not seen,
Something surprising and beautiful,
Something elusive I want to hold onto
Like the instant spring shares itself with me.

These passing days remain a wonder, tangible delight,
In shadow, shade, and burning light.

a taste of the glory

When are you allowed to take wishes and turn them into plans? I've been thinking about this question and a few others lately as I ponder where my life is right now. I'm pretty sure the answer has something to do with the moment everyone wants to be on the same page.

That page I speak of is a place I don't know if I've ever had a joint author for as of yet, but maybe someday soon. I look back on past relationships that have ended and realize I don't think I've ever had someone really choose me, so it is natural to believe that no one ever will. It just makes sense in a bad way. Well, in a way that feels bad. I look around me and see friends with companions, long-time companions, who they've gone through fires with and continue to make it out together. No one is left holding onto everything, barely holding up the fort like some bedraggled superhero underneath rubble. Both might be bedraggled and holding up underneath rubble, but they have someone to share it with. I don't know. Maybe I'm wanting something I can't have, yet I know I deserve that type of love and care.

There are a lot of things people deserve, good and bad, I guess. I deserve a lot of good things that I don't have, and I deserve quite a few things that I am grateful I'm not subjected to. Mercy is beautiful. So I'm pretty sure I just really want a bigger taste of what I have and more of the good stuff I don't have yet. When I think of whoever ends up being my partner in crime for eternity, strangely, I think of this quote from Nacho Libre, "Don't you want a little taste of the glory! See what it tastes like!"

And then, I literally laugh at my dumb joke and myself because who even thinks like this let alone tells everyone? Who does this? Oh yeah, I do.

surviving

Survival of the fittest
But for single people
It looks like taking yourself to a movie
And an occasional dinner
Day hikes and art classes
It looks like bona fide living
Just without the benefits
Of holding hands with someone you trust
Affection almost whenever you want
Someone invested in being their best
For them and for you

Survival of the fittest
Is more like looking at
Survival mode and being grateful
For being able to keep going
Trudging along so fabulously
Yet uncomfortable enough to
Not want to stay in it
For even one more day
If you don't have to
Recognizing that survival mode
Is no way to live

Survival of the fittest
Should look like
Blue skies and white clouds
On a sunny spring day
Dreaming of gentle eyes
Planning good things
And working through the rest
With someone at your side
Living for the smiles and through the tears
Hoping that a certain soul wants
To share life's ups and downs