in the middle forever

Playing the untuned strings of my heart
Using the music masterfully to enchant
The words within each perfect song
Say all I could want to hear in this moment
With wishful hearing I keep listening
Yet I fear it is all imagination and just nice words
 Even still, friendship now has a blurry line

When romantic hearts like ours meet
Drawing ourselves together
Then quickly apart
With inner fear keeping us
From reaching the other deeply
Like a maddening bondage
That might never be broken

The eroding canyon of our disconnect
Should not be given breathing space
It has more than its fair share
In the middle forever, darling
Build an unbreakable bridge that reaches
From each side coming together
Peeling off layers of guardedness in the process

Where does the time go?

As I reflect on this month, I can hardly believe it is nearly over. Where did October go? I must admit that I'm thankful for the time passing by so quickly. I'm not sure how well I'd be able to cope with all the stress if it lingered as if the days were more like weeks, instead of vice versa. 

The beauty of autumn time has not been lost with the passing days. I have made sure to stop amidst the crazy to snap (more than) a few photos. The crunch of leaves and the crispness of the air cannot be captured, but all the changing colors and lingering sunshine can. I'd like to share a few of my favorite snapshots from Instagram. 

Out of these three, I'm probably going to create a logo for a weekly gratitude blog challenge for November. If you care to, leave a comment with which one you like best. And then, you can come back and see which one I chose once November rolls around. 

Happy October!

Seeking to Become - October 2013

Something was said during church on Sunday about singing more, and it caused me to reflect on how often I sing casually around the house with my children. I couldn't remember the last time I sang a song just for because.

This hasn't always been the case. I used to sing all the time to my little ones--well, the first two--then, my mom died. I can pin-point when I stopped singing on a daily basis to that event. Losing her so unexpectedly knocked the wind out of me, and I guess, I never recovered in this area.

I've reflected a lot on how everything that happens in life changes us. Yet, I haven't really spent time repairing things that broke down which are worth fixing, like remembering to sing every day.

When I talk about singing, I'm not talking about the sing along with the radio sort of singing--I do that. I'm talking about singing songs that bring the spirit into your heart and home, songs that remind you of where you come from and where you're going.  Growing up in a home where music was continually either being played on a piano, blasted from a stereo, or sung from someone's mouth, it saddens me that I've let a decade slip through my fingers where this spiritual music isn't saturating every nook and cranny of the home I try to keep. So, I decided to seek out some scriptures to help remind me why it's so important to keep singing as part of my everyday life.

Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.   

Ephesians 5: 14, 19 

Over the next while, I hope you might join me in singing praises that we might seek Christ in meaningful ways.

light now dimmed

Youth cannot guarantee one more breath 

Neither can beauty of heart, mind, and body

Precious spirit, dear and lovely

Warmth taken from this bitter cold world

Life feels more empty now

The light that once shone through

Has been dimmed by loss

My heart breaks

Not for me

But for family

For the heartache 

They must taste

This grief brings

Back memories

Of the heartache

From the loss

Of beloved parents

Who left unexpectedly, too

Perhaps they are all together

Providing watch care over us

Wishing for our hearts

To know that our hope

And faith are not in vain

But the truth to which

They would have us cling

For sweet Kenslee,

You always showed me a wealth of loving kindness. 

You are missed by many. 

a slice of smiles

When my children smile, it makes me so happy inside and out. I really can't even describe it. My oldest just had a birthday, and her smiles were infectious and beautiful. We all gathered around her to celebrate her sweet and loving way by making sure she had a great time for her birthday. Watching the three younger children helping her to choose the fun gifts and playing on the playground with her gave me joy in my mother's heart to the point of overflowing.

They fight so much--not my girl with autism but the others--which makes it even more welcome of a sight to see them rallying around her together, becoming friends, and learning how it feels to get along.

I had a rough day, but my evening was better than wonderful.