Word of the Year 2015: Joyful

Word of the Year 2015

As I began deciding what word I would give focus to this new year, the only word that kept coming to mind was joyful. 

I consider myself a happy sort, but I do get down on myself more often than I should, and I can get caught up in all that is wrong with things when I ought to be looking for the good. This past year of learning to embrace my loved ones, spirituality, and all the love around me ties in with going a step further to allow my heart to rejoice more, too. Embracing the moments in time felt so wonderful, I must say. And consciously stopping to hold my children more, to ask for a hug more often than I think is welcome, and reaching out to others in love and service have been healing and helpful in my journey. So, I came to the conclusion that if I focus on the joy that is before me better as I am continuing to embrace my life, I will see more fully the joy that is in store for me. I will have room to receive it because I will have cleared out the negativity that pushes joy away. 

Then, I sat down to write this Word of the Year reflection and projection, and I have to say that I now know for a fact that joyful must be what I focus on this year. Having a few years'  worth of words to reflect on has revealed that I never accomplished my goal for 2013. 

That year was supposed to be joyful, but it was not. Two-thousand thirteen was a pivotal year in my progression; I learned much about who I am and what I can accomplish; I was introduced to one of my dearest friends in 2013; and I did not give up (That last one is a miracle in itself.). All are things to rejoice in. Nevertheless, it was a year seared with pain and hardship, tears and yet still more tears, and I hardly know how I made it through. So, no, I did not have a joyful year in 2013 even though I had hoped it would be, which means that I must strive to accomplish the goal this year. 

With a happier and hopeful heart, I am better prepared to reach into the days, weeks, and months ahead to embrace the joy that lays before me. I feel joyful just thinking about it. 

Highlights of embracing life this past year:

Caught in the Breeze

Permeating Vibrance

I Drove All Night

Embracing You

Seeking to Become: June 2014

My Legacy

A Resounding Yes

Past Words of the Year: 

2011: Broken

2012: Healed

2014: Embrace

sanctuary

With quiet words and a tender hand
You have cleared away layers of fear
Exposing what lay hidden inside
Carefully creating a sanctuary
Within your eyes, voice, and smile
I find refuge beneath the branches of your laugh
Relief enfolds me in the shade of your loving way

And so it goes that I must try
With softer patience and a listening heart
To meet you along the shoreline
Of where our hearts reach into the future
Hoping you know with each passing day
How well you deserve to be loved
My beloved and precious friend

para ti, mi amor

Pensé que se le olvidó
mi corazón y todo
pero tú no lo hizo
tú eres mi amigo
un parte de mi vida que no cambió
siempre y siempre si te quiero

crying adventure

I don't really know what to say today . . .

I've cried a river and then some. I taught some amazing things with a simple list of commonly confused words as a vehicle for discussion and learning, while I choked back internal tears. I drove home talking to myself, but actually crying to my trusty listener, the car. The Beast holds some major secrets from all the crying jags I've been on since getting it last April. Such a good car. And then crying more at home while wrapped up in blankets on my lovely purple sofa. 

The day was stuffed full with learning, feeling, listening, teaching, understanding, and coming back to myself to see that I still want what I want. Life is funny that way. We get taken on side adventures just to teach us what we already know, but the awesome part is that we have all that experience to fuel the journey further. 

Another thing I learned today is that I can teach while I am having personal issues. I was even funny during the last class of the day. Like so funny that the students said they like me in that state of mind. Little do they know what it takes to get me stupid funny—numb and broken down from crying half the day. 

Lastly, I'm all done crying, and I guess I figured out what to say. So that's more good news. 

Seeking to Become - January 2015

I became overwhelmed with all that life was throwing at me there for awhile and lost track of time. I haven't found a focus for a couple months, so in an effort to find it, I am getting back to what I know works. And this works.

There was a conversation on truth that I was dragged into earlier today, and it really got me thinking. We like to know the truth. We all would like to know what we should do with ourselves and where we are headed. There are so many philosophies out there in the world that conflict with each other that unless you're really listening closely for spiritual discernment, it can be confusing at every turn. And I don't care what they say, even the science people don't have it down to a science. Science changes with discovery. One day with one batch of scientific truth, you know one thing. Give it ten years, and then all of a sudden, you've been eating food that will give you cancer. Some things are constant, like gravity, and those are trustworthy, but not all science is like that. Some of it doesn't ring true no matter what the experts might say.

I promise that I'm not sharing these thoughts to dredge up a big fight. There is truth in science and scientific discovery. Some of my favorite classes in college were science courses (actually, chemistry and geology to be precise). But there is more to this complex existence than stark, provable facts. For example, take chemistry (the relationship kind). No one can prove why certain people are drawn to each other, but it happens. There is nothing you can quantify that would make any sense logically speaking. There are many examples of things in this life that can't be proven with evidence, but they are real and make life wonderful. Like the love of a mother. There is no way to explain that scientifically. And then the big one that is at the heart of every truth debate is faith. Faith works on an entirely different plane than science. Faith is the hope of things that are true which are not seen. Once it is proven to you, faith becomes knowledge. And that knowledge is not required to be based on quantifiable facts; it is pretty much always based solely on others' or your own personal witness of spiritual things.

I would entreat anyone who is a seeker of truth to heed these simple words:

5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.  

James 1:5-6 

For this month, I will seek out answers that I lack by exercising my faith and praying more unwaveringly. I lack wisdom in many areas of my life, so the goal is a worthy one. The promise that wisdom "shall be given" if we ask in faith fuels the hope that I hold in my heart. We just need to ask and listen for the answer.