exquisite beauty

I'm sure some of you are aware of my troubles to a degree, but I try not to say too much about the problems I have been suffering with specificity (well, unless you've read the Divorce section on here). So anyway, I want to say a little more with the hope that we can all take a moment for a big collective sigh.

I mark today as the day I stopped being chattel, the day my house of cards burned down to the ground never to be built again. Today is the first day of no longer being married and figuring out what that will mean for the future. The battle is not over—of that I am certain—but I am my own person again. And I don't know how to express the relief and empowerment that I feel in this moment. 

But, also, today marks a terribly beautiful moment for me. It's terribly sad to have loved and lost, yet the exquisite beauty found in the freedom that has been reclaimed shines brighter than any of the tears ever could. I celebrate the opportunity I now have to move ahead with deliberate authenticity. 

In commemoration of this significant moment in time, I will share with you a representation of my emotional journey through song. It is not complete but in a purposeful order, and there are seemingly disjointed songs, but each song tells part of this disjointed journey. Every song has words that have whispered to my heart in moments of weakness or strength, in moments of indecision or decision. And I share this journey with you if you'd like to pause for a space of time and remember with me my moment of heartbreaking change. 


I appreciate every single one of you who have supported and will continue to support me in this dynamic adventure called life. 



4 comments:

  1. Wow, I am so sorry. You will come out of this! You are loved and worthy to be loved. Like you said now is the time to be you. Take off all the masks and be who you are, and if a dare say now is the time to search out God. Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy, and provide us with peace, strength, and real love. You are one amazing woman, and I think you are very strong. Keep pressing forward, keep breathing, keep going. Romans 8:28 says God works out all things for the good of those who love Him. He will work this out for good, it might not look that way but it will be that way. Thank you for sharing with us your heart and your songs. God bless you!

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    1. Thank you! God does work out all things for the faithful. I know that to be true.

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  2. You are an incredibly strong person. May your journey forward be buttressed by family, friends, and love.

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    1. Your comments are of great value to me. Thank you, Casey.

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Comments are always a pleasure! Thank you!