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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

rabbit holes

My teenaged son is away for a couple of days, so I decided to give him a fresh start on his laundry. Who knew laundry could last for two days straight? Who knew that, in finding all the dirty laundry, half the room would end up getting cleared out? How much trash can a boy's room hold? Seriously. I don't even know what to think about it all. I'm pretty sure I need to start charging a monthly cleaning fee for carpet cleaning alone if he doesn't figure this garbage out soon. 

In all the laundry washing, drying, folding, discovering more trash and socks and spoons (like 10-15 spoons), I have had a lot of time to think too. I have thought about the holes I dig myself into and out of on the regular. I thought about how I've let myself care so much without regard for whether anyone else is returning it in kind. I have thought whether I should carry on or if it might wreck me. I don't want to make messes that can be not necessarily avoided but are unnecessary. I want my interactions to actually be blessings—even if it's in the long run. That's alright so long as the long run happens. Every caring effort tells me that somehow it will all work out. 

Now back to my boy. I hope he figures things out sooner than later. The long run can be so difficult. I don't wish him a life without challenges that help him grow, but I do wish for him to feel successful and capable. 

Sometimes the rabbit holes go so deep we can't find our way without a little help to get around the bends to see the sunlight. And that's okay. 


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