Top Ten Reader's Choice 2017

If you've been around me at all, either in person or on social media, you'll have heard me mention that I anticipate healing change and growth during 2018. What I didn't realize though in all my anticipation is that this year has been one of great change and growth as I look back on it.

My children reached milestones galore. I edited two novels and one textbook, so my editing skills are getting sharp! My family home was sold, and I was able to help some family members. I found more ways to serve others.

One thing that made me step back and recognize my willpower is how I got through major heartbreak stronger than I thought I would. I truly couldn't see how I would get out of that grief actually, but I did make it out.

In all of these writing pieces, you have gone through these times with me. You have all been so supportive and kind to me. I have learned from you. Thank you for reading these selections and sharing them, and I am thankful for all of the ongoing support of my many other writings. I look forward to seeing what is in store for 2018!

I hope you enjoy this look back on 2017 with me.

Top Ten Readers' Choice:

1.  Twenty People: Part One

2. To Every Teacher

3. Fourteen Years

4. Empty

5. Be Brave

6. Christmas Music

7. Working on Sunday

8. Destitute

9. Friends

10. Three Things


Honorable Mention:

9 Things

word of the year 2018: compassion

In years past, it has taken me some time to find my one little word, or word of the year, by which I place extra focus and measure my personal progress. Last year's search was pathetic! It took so much time as I pondered and sought the word I needed to guide me. Impact was a good word; it served me well, yet it seemed almost stressful to do this exercise of finding a word!

This year is very different. I have felt 2018's word coming on for a couple of months. The actual word would come to mind, and I would think to myself that it would make for a good word of the year, but I didn't want to commit to this word unless it was the one I've been waiting for.

Needless to say, the word has stuck with me.

Compassion is simple yet complex in being understood, easy yet can be difficult to show, and always, always beautiful when executed with full purpose of heart. Throughout this new year, I want to learn more about what compassion looks like and what it takes to truly have it. As I learn more, I want to implement it more. I want to create a permanent place in my perspective and heart where compassion will reside and be actively employed.

In the Unabridged Merriam-Webster Dictionary, compassion is defined as "deep feeling for and understanding of misery or suffering and the concomitant desire to promote its alleviation :  spiritual consciousness of the personal tragedy of another or others and selfless tenderness directed toward it." A couple of phrases stand out to me, "deep feeling for" and "selfless tenderness directed toward," as I consider how I will begin my study of compassion this year. 

By allowing this word to be part of my journey for 2018, it seems as if I'm opening myself up to feel more deeply as I strive to put myself in others' shoes and give of myself. This is how I understand it. As the year goes on, I might share any new understanding or insights I might gather as I take compassion for my companion. 

Here's to a year of loving people better. 

Christmas Songs: week four

Last but not least, I have found a song to be dedicated to my oldest yet youngest child, my child who has severe autism.

Her song is "Silent Night."

what Christmas means to me

Christmastime is driving around to look at Christmas lights on houses and yards. It is hot chocolate and too many treats. Christmastime means singing Christmas carols and listening to the same Christmas songs in about a hundred different versions over and over because they are just that good. Thinking of family and friends and figuring out what I might make or buy for or give away to them to  manifest my care and love, that is Christmastime. Wrapping the presents and putting up the Christmas tree and all the ornaments, sitting by the lit up tree in the otherwise dark room just being quiet, watching It's a Wonderful Life and Scrooge (1970) every. single. year. because they are just that good, these things make it Christmastime for me.

All of those delights set aside, I will tell you that Christmas would be nothing but a month-long party without the most important part—a renewed/continued/focused/improved remembrance of Jesus Christ and what he did for us. He was born that we might live again eternally despite our imperfections, our sins, our shameful acts. He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for all of our sorrows and sins because he loves us. When Jesus was born, he began the journey of saving of our souls, and that is why I celebrate so fervently with so much joy and hope and love no matter what is going wrong in life. His beginning is the beginning of our salvation. 

Christmas Songs: week three

This week is a little more difficult for me to write. I have struggled to choose a song to dedicate to my youngest boy. He's so easygoing and likes so many things equally that I am not sure. One song stands out although it is only because he was making fun of me for liking it.

making an impact

This year has been one for making an impact, and make one, I did. But I'll also add that the happenings throughout the year have made an impact on me. My life is unrecognizable today from January 1, 2017. Many changes that I have chosen and many changes that have been thrust upon me have made an impact on the landscape of daily life.

I've had house guests for five months of the year that I could never have foreseen. Roles in my job have gotten heavy on editing, and I never expected that although it has been a time of growth for me to do so much editing. My oldest son is a working machine, so he's never home, but I'm so proud of him. It's strange to not have him around for family dinners and prayer time at night. We all really miss him a lot of the time. But that's part of the impact of time marching ahead. And it's good. Progress is good.

This coming year has many changes ahead that I can already see. I don't want to go into any of it too much, but significant change will be making its mark on us for sure.

Christmastime has been a real opportunity to make an impact on my surroundings. We've tried to be thoughtful of others and give to charity and see where we can do a little something differently to help others.

Wrapping up 2017, I am glad for the experiences I've had to choose to do something more and really help people. In helping others, I have learned a great deal about what it takes to change lives for the better—including my own. With the word impact guiding my choices this year, I have put my creative powers to the test and found unique ways to serve neighbors, friends, family, and even strangers. It's been a great experiment in stretching my character and finding new opportunities to teach my children about how to effect change in the world around them.

I have no doubt whatsoever that impact was destined to be my word of the year for 2017. I'm grateful I was patient in seeking it out.

Christmas Songs: week two

Seeing as this is Week Two, you might want to catch Week One if you missed it . . .

For this week's song, I want to dedicate "Last Christmas" by Wham! And so you know, that exclamation mark was forced on me. Why do bands even use punctuation anyway? Seriously. But I digress . . .

thoughts on destitution

where do these thoughts belong
nowhere for they are homeless
as homeless as her heart
bereft of affection that she needs
left in want for the resources
that make life smooth in this society
wherein she resides and hides
divorced from the world that functions
without distress and habitual begging

an exercise in humility
humbling and good for the heart
in the long run
left without a hand to hold
empty-handed hopefulness
without even a half measure
of the attention she needs
a beggar's heart with no home
inner turmoil with no voice

robbed of expression of truth
of a full life
with someone who wants to
offer all of the attention
never having quite enough
to feel comfortable
yet always cared for by and by
by the traveler on their
way to their own homes

passersby with something to give
the puzzle pieces that make life whole
though disjointed and dejected
put together with a bit of paste
and a whole lot of prayer
while divested of love's finery
left stark and cold with nowhere to go
on this earth for shelter
from the elements of want and woe

abandoned for emptiness
left to roam and want for
more than someone to talk to
someone who is present
for her needs and support
given self freely and fully
not borrowed for the day
someone more than glad to make room
for the impoverished love she has to give

destitution defined
painted with tools of affluence
words and emotions
not only for the starving for food
yet this exercise feels like a spit in the face
to ones who have no literal home
so with a heavy heart recognizing
there is so much more
unaccounted for

Christmas Songs: week one

This Christmas, I want to dedicate a song to each one of my children. The reasoning behind the dedications will be different and as unique as each of them. I hope you enjoy it.

Two things inspired this series. The first is "Feliz Navidad" by José Feliciano, and the second is my little son who is not so little anymore.