I'm feeling that loss of words thing that I talked about on Day 1. There have been so many fun things going on, yet I just don't know how to write about any of it and still be true to how my heart is faring. I just don't have enough words right now. I am disappointed in myself for not taking better care. I want to be happy and well for myself and my family. I am surrounded by joy. And yet I can't seem to grasp it at the moment. And I feel even more destitute than ever because of it. I have wishes right on the tip of my tongue, but wishing doesn't matter. I've learned that the hard way a few times. It seems ridiculous to write about things that won't ever happen. I've often said I'm not a writer of fiction. I've also said that I don't believe in crushes. So if it isn't truly reciprocated, shared love, it is fiction. And not worthy of writing about. Kidding yourself is nonsense.
Here I am now. I've found some words. I don't like them though, but I'll leave them just the same, so I can have proof of where my mind wanders when given space.