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This Phoenix Speaks
Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...
no, fear
What love is worth throwing out the window?
What would someone trade to give away an honest love?
Is it in the pure acceptance and healthy gratitude
That they find the strength to leave?
Is it in the care and thoughtfulness
Wherein the fuel is found to run away so willingly?
Maybe it was in those loving eyes and happy arms—
Or the glad manner and truthful wishing?
Perhaps the will to leave was found in the promise
Of hope and wanting for security?
There must have been too much joy laced in every moment
Too much goodness and friendship and truth
Fear has no place, so we must make room.
Perplexed, I ask what kind of trade is fear?
Why be afraid of being wanted?
Why not look toward the sunrise with unfettered hope?
What would it hurt to let go of painful patterns?
Would it be terrible to let yourself be taken care of?
Would it be so bad to be glad in caring for another?
Wouldn't it be sweet to hold hands every day?
Maybe it would be okay to let the light in—
Let promises stick and someone stay.
Maybe happiness starts within each of us.
Maybe we have to want that something more
That keeps on coming at us in waves,
Offered with generosity as another chance
To let go of isolation, and hold onto love.
Maybe we need to finally say, Fear has no place here.
look
Looking back
Looking ahead
Looking around
I see a blanket of love
I see balloons and sunshine and lamplight
I see tunnels and avalanches and darkest nights
I see music and mirrors and me
Making my way from before the beginning
And walking, continually walking slow yet steady
To where I belong
Searching for myself and my home
Writing myself into the story
Time and time again
Making sure the hero stays on her journey
Watching for the guides along the way
Loving friends and family and strangers
As they make their way into the story
For a moment or a lifetime
They help guide her home
With divine intuition
Divine guidance
Divine love
Come find me on this path
Let this hero walk alone no more
With tenderness and light steps
Kindness and care
Patience and prayer
Look for a way
To find your way
To conjoin two stories
And look no more away
From how aligned the stars remain
Look past the sky
Look toward heaven
For angels wait in the wings
To guide the way
magical
Wherever she goes, wherever she touches
Something about her changes the world
The ordinary and mundane become new and charming
Charming in the best way—not like dirtbags
Vivacious simplicity makes up her fairy dust
A fresh and resounding everyday magic
Created from pure determination and honest faith
Not to mention a healthy pinch of relatable tragedy
There's nothing so magical as something so real
Something you can feel and oftentimes see
Someone you can touch in actuality
There's nothing quite so magical as being beloved
Wherever you search, wherever you go
You'll never find another with her magical soul
this path
you led me here, my darling
gently
in hindsight I see you knew
somehow
my heart couldn't
hurry
even though I thought I was
ready
because I heard your heart's
song
recognizing a precious
treasure
a heart that matches
mine
in highest quality and
tenor
walk with me on this path toward
forever
lead me onto our best
adventure
tenacity
Walk through the cool blades of new grass
Take me along for the ride as we climb
I know the low valleys and high roads too
I know the middle where no one wants to stay
But take me with you if you'll at least try
To choose someone other than you
To love and care for and spend some time
Considering the beauty of walking beside
Someone who cares about someone—you
Run through fields of unrelenting joy
Join me as I wander through the sunlight
Of the sweet and tender care we give
Hold my hand in yours
As we find ourselves side-by-side
Cover my heart with yours
As we learn to listen to our rhythm
Care for me with just as much tenacity
As a seed in spring finding a way to breathe
flower beds
The details of everyday life
Family and school, balancing
Gospel learning and living
Work and writing
Listening and loving
Praying every day for light
To prevail
Make a difference
Teach us better and
Guide us to our heart's home
An everlasting spring day
To abide in as we reach
For one another
Amongst the heaven sent
Flower beds of lovingkindness
We keep trying today and tomorrow
Because love keeps us going
Trying
Living
Giving of ourselves
Sacrifice turns into daily care
In the form of affection and patience
Understanding and hope
Smiling at each other
Faith beaming from each countenance
gift of grace
I can hardly imagine life without the thought
That I can rise again
That I can see them again
That we will be together forever.
I recognize the beauty of the gift
That Jesus rose from the grave
That I can experience His grace
That we will be forgiven and eternally live.
I give thanks to God for this love
That I am able to feel so much
That I have enough to multiply and give
That others might feel the warmth of this faith.
The ultimate beauty of Christ's sacrifice and death
For me and for you he gave with his last and first breath.
walk with me
Take the first step
A kiss
Then another
Holding hands
And caring
Walking in front and in back
Taking turns
Along the brook
Wondering
Wandering
Welcoming
Entreating
Dearly beloved
Helping me get through life
In happier ways
Another step
Take it
Walk with me
Out of survival mode
Up the path
Past the hills
Toward the bright
Blue skies
promise the moon
As the glorious sun
Takes time to rest
As it sets, making room for the moon
To reflect
That lovely moon
Whispers of joy to us
Joy laid up
Waiting for the day
Filled with soft words of sweet
And happy hues
Traveling across the sky
From me to you and back again
Guiding light through darkest nights
Promises of dewy dawns and noonday suns
warrior queen
Abandoned on the highway side
Left to fend
With nowhere to go
But to bend
Bending to the weather
With none to tend
Hoping for rains to come—and go
With little to lend
Lending her heart from time to time
To strangers and to friends
With hope ever smiling
Like sun shining, making amends
A warrior queen all robed in white and light
Prepared for the future, effervescent and bright
saving windows
Where do the windows go when time has passed?
Windows that are made of glass
When did these people stop caring,
Leave looking out toward the sun smiling down?
What happens to the windows through which we gaze?
Windows need cleaning and care,
But if they break and they aren't replaced,
Not much but emptiness remains.
When do we lose sight of where things are heading?
Taking time to polish what we have and keep it gleaming
Keeps the view from clouding over and losing sight.
Storing up reserves staves off the wolves in winter's breakage.
Who decides? Who decides what will happen to these windows?
Everyone, individually and collectively,
It takes everyone cleaning and polishing and working to save.
It takes choices every day to keep our windows beaming.
careful
Awakened by the light of day, they found
A hope vibrating in their souls, unchained.
To be beloved to such degree resounds
With truth and joy and peace and dreams regained.
They sat with backs against the wall so long
As friends, though taste imagination now.
A try at finding home and to belong
Has opened up a world to which they bow.
Upon the table set is careful love
Enjoined, entwined, enjoyed, entered by day
Without the walls of castle fair above,
With silent joy and peace in fine array,
Sweet love, dear love, a precious love inlaid
On hearts that pray for safety in the shade.
a dream
To burn all my words
What a dream that would be
A dream and a tragedy
To love without fear
What a world that would be
A dream sans reality
To live in moments
What a life that would be
A dream that can be costly
To write honest love
What a treat that would be
A dream I taste while writing
To burn up this heart
What a shame that would be
A dream without clarity
To care, just care
What a simple thing that can be
A dream I want to achieve
anointing oil
I wonder where to turn for peace
When the waves keep crashing down
I turn to look toward heaven, and I see Him
Anointing my head with oil
Day to day, I find myself up and down
And up again
Surprisingly, the lows keep me trying as I see Him
Anointing my head with oil
Taking moments to breathe it all in to capture joy,
Then to let it flow despite the onslaught of trouble
Because He is always there, I see Him
Anointing my head with oil
Turning for peace toward the One who saves
As He daily anoints my head with oil
gifts
Gifts fly in on paper wings
Left on the shelf by someone acting like they don't care
Paper airplanes, notes, candy, always candy
They act one way but think another
You can never tell who admires you
Or secretly hates you
In middle school, actions speak differently than words
They don't even understand why they do some things
So you can't judge any books by their covers at this age
When those smiling girls end up detesting your very breath
And the boys who tell everyone how much they hate you
Actually are the ones who leave a trail
I watch for the gifts—small ones, almost imperceivable
To let me know when a teenage soul values me
shelter
The wind blew in today, like most days really, chilling and brisk
It pushed down freezing rain in blinding sheets
Sending the world with me in it scattering, clambering for shelter
I felt so cold from my toes to my nose
Standing alone for so long, I hardly even noticed
How harsh the weather was, how harsh the world had become
And then you were there, sheltering me as we stood
Holding onto one another with hearts in our hands
My face in your hands as I realized what a gift you are
Your presence made the storm seem like almost nothing
The wind still blew; the rain still was driven, but
Because you sheltered me without a second thought
Calm made a home within my heart
Quiet began to settle in within my chest
Gratitude made a mark I won't ever forget
Even if it's only for a day, my darling
You shelter me more than I could hope
And my heart is warmed by the fire of your soul
it yearns
You help me look toward the sun
Again, for me
Not in words so much but
In the way you envelope
My heart with so much love
You have become my friend and lover
Quietly, for me
The steadiness of your pace is
An open door encouraging
My heart to grow once more
You shine your light upon the earth
Again, for me
Even though you did not mean to
Or in the way you perceived
My heart would receive yours
You have changed my heart
Again,
And I cannot see in front of me
Again,
For my heart yearns for yours
room enough
They say
If you want something different
You need to create space for it
In your life
If it requires time
You need to set some aside
If it requires physical space
You need to clean out some rooms
If what you want
Requires time and space
You need to take a good look
At where you are and make room enough
Consider where you stand
And how you spend your day
Watch how the sun rises and sets
And where it takes you
Will you make room enough for what you need?
Ask yourself, then reach for every good thing.
perhaps
she said too much too many times
yet did she
they smiled too much too many times
yet did they
he cared for her too much too many times
yet did he
they shared so much so many times
or did they
she took it all to heart—or did she
perhaps she took it all too much to heart
and forgot how simple love can and ought to be
perhaps she needs to breathe, let love make a mark
perhaps it has been too long—so long that
she forgot what these darling butterflies do...
room to grow
Standing at the base
Looking heavenward
Imagining eternity
Faith overtakes my breath
Hope instead within my chest
Charity guiding my every step
Blue skies forever are what I see
Outside and inside
On the surface and within
Brick upon brick cemented together with light
The layers of my faith
Building something that holds weight
Windows to look through
Windows to reflect
Windows to see out and in and up
Shelter me from the storms that attempt to break
Help me find my way today that I may feel His joy
Ready me for forever that there will be room to grow
sweetness
Sweetness rests like dew on grass in morning upon her lips
Through thoughts and words and actions
Sweetness tastes like icing of a cake upon her lips
As she watches with wonder at how he cares so distinctly
Sweetness spreads like hope's wildfire upon her lips
With every smile rising with each tomorrow's sun
Sweetness stays like the gentle kiss of lovers' bliss upon her lips
As she writes of the kindness she found held brightly in his eyes
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