courage to wait



I wrote that title almost a year ago. Typed it into the title box and left it as a place marker for writing something someday. I'm sure I meant to get back to it much sooner, but the time for writing has finally arrived. 

Courage, waiting, and patience have been words that keep coming to the surface of my mind. Courage in waiting, patience in waiting, not waiting but being truly patient in my living, and courage in living so as to not wait but be ready for whatever comes my way: these are the angles at which I explore this life I have. 

The past couple of weeks have been a time for reflection, so I've reigned myself in and shut out the rest of the world as much as I can manage. I have not felt courageous. I have not been waiting for anything either. I have not felt anything except an abiding desire to be patient and to step away from this sense of forever being unwanted. I couldn't even describe what I'm thinking half of the time because there is such a numbness to it that there are no words. 

Right now, I just don't have the courage to wait and see what comes next. It will come regardless, so in that knowledge I will hold on to hope. 








2 comments:

  1. I think your post is the courage you think you are lacking. Perhaps like the Lion in Wizard of Oz, you've had it all along. You've reached out and that is courageous and allows for a kind of waiting, doesn't it? I'm looking forward to seeing where you'll go from here. This is your fresh new day. This is your jumping off place. xo

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  2. Don't give up hope...Proverbs says hope deferred makes the heart sick...just keep holding on to your hope, and you will arrive at the next step.

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