A great summer day. The sun shone brightly. Yard work went smoothly and happily. The children seem to be finding their sea legs after a rocky couple of weeks. And then problems happened.
I deal with them. I'm used to it. And yet I just don't seem to be able to get used to it entirely. I think my broken wishes seem to have set me up for a raw blow. I never expect to have to deal with the same old garbage even though I typically have to.
I almost forgot to write this slice. I'd been thinking of so many fun things to write all day as I worked in the yard and with my children, but then I had to worry and talk and think and protect as much as I can.
I'm exhausted, and it's not a regular sort. My whole heart and soul just wants to find a home, a haven, a little piece of happy that I can count on no matter what.
I deal with them. I'm used to it. And yet I just don't seem to be able to get used to it entirely. I think my broken wishes seem to have set me up for a raw blow. I never expect to have to deal with the same old garbage even though I typically have to.
I almost forgot to write this slice. I'd been thinking of so many fun things to write all day as I worked in the yard and with my children, but then I had to worry and talk and think and protect as much as I can.
I'm exhausted, and it's not a regular sort. My whole heart and soul just wants to find a home, a haven, a little piece of happy that I can count on no matter what.
You sound full of strength, even when you are having hard and raw moments. I went back and read some of your older posts. I wish you nothing but the best as you walk this hard road. Thank you for sharing such honesty.
ReplyDeleteI love the last line and how writing can be birth out of anything.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as though you have been on a rough road, but I can feel your strength growing with each new day. Praying that you will find that haven among all of your pain. Hugs.
ReplyDelete