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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

Too many questions

Sorry, Captain America, about my camera not doing you justice.
I have been thinking about a lot of stuff: family, school, church, new and renewed friendships, even best friendships, movies, money, summertime. I think so much I barely take time to enjoy this ride called life. I don't really know what to do about my incessant thinking problem, but something has got to give. The situation has become so complicated I don't even know where to start except to rethink things, but isn't that a bit counter-intuitive?

The truth of the matter is I don't know what to do with myself as my entire life is in a transition state. I have proven my mad skills of breathing and near-flunking out of school. Sometimes I barely recognize myself. I have nearly forgotten what it feels like to feel taken care of--by parents, a loving spouse, and even myself. How did this happen? I don't understand how I could get this way. It is perplexing and I am left with a barrage of questions that only feed my overthinking:

Who am I morphing into and who will I be when this is all over?
Why did I not buy some chocolate when I was at the store?!
Will it ever be over? 
What is all this heartache doing to my children?
What does Survival of the Divorce turn people into?
Am I ridiculous or what?
Do people like my writing or are they just being nice?
Why do people justify judging and ostracizing me?
Why do I care so much and how could I justify not caring as much?
What happened to my friend? 
Where will all these traumatically dramatic experiences take me?

Why can't some hunky Avenger just swoop in and save me?

And just so you know, I'm not making this stuff up. I actually think like that from time to time. Well, nearly every day.

Just call me The Worry Whisperer.


  1. Sometimes we just need to pause, take a deep breath, close our eyes and then refocus. It can be so hard can't it.

  2. What a great list of questions to think about. Good that you are a thinker, Purple Lady :)

  3. Those are some powerful questions you ask. There is a plan for life, we just don't where the road will take us. Stay strong and true to your beliefs.

  4. My favorite questions on this list are:
    Am I ridiculous or what?, and, What happened to my friend?
    The answer to the first is--yes, and no. The answer to the second might be, "You may never know..." I was a big question-asker for a long time. Then I read a few books and had a few experiences--both spiritual and other--that helped me not worry so much. I think we all want to be saved from time to time, though. ;)

  5. Here is a quote that I read somewhere, "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't take you anywhere." You ask some valid questions. I'm sure the answers will reveal themselves to you one day. It sounds like you're on a journey of some kind. Perhaps a tough one. At the end of it, you'll be wiser, stronger, and happier. This is just a season in your life, and we all know how quickly seasons come and go. Be blessed!

  6. There was a time that I had lots of questions. The what ifs, how comes, why nots ad when will bes . And since I was not getting any younger and my questions ever increasing, it just hit that if continue asking myself, fay to day, I may not live long enough to know the answers.

    I hope and pray that the time will come some of those questions will be answered. Just give time a chance.


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