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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

family offenses

I don't know about you, but I adore getting together with my family. I have some seriously dynamic, achieving, fantastic people to look up to, hang out with, and call my own. When family events come around, I have such anticipation that it is nearly tangible. I just love love love getting together and spending that precious time.

My dilemma with the situation is the negative side to the whole thing-- the awesomeness brings along an ugly stepchild of sorts with it. family drama.

I am a contributor for certain. Yet, the one thing that I am working on diligently is becoming less of a contributor. Never was there a worse guilt trip alive than the one I get after blurting out some insanely blunt comment. My poor sister-in-laws have had to figure out the unfortunate reality that even though I love them to no end, I might say something offensive--every time I see them.

The situation cries for reform and I try hard to stay even keele and be a peacemaker. Gotta keep on working on that one. I am thankful for all the patience afforded me by my family, as well as all those who actually, truly, and completely love me. If feels amazing to be so accepted.

I am wondering something:
What are some things you do to avoid offending family?

Suggestions are very welcome!


  1. I don't know what you said, but having witnessed several past altercations, I think your best bet is to stop trying to problem solve other people's problems. Sometimes you just need to listen and empathize instead of telling them how to get over their junk. I know when I complain, I'm usually not looking for solutions. I just want to vent and it bugs me when people don't get it and try to tell me what I should do to make things better. I just wanted some dang sympathy...Gosh! ;)

  2. @Melissa: I totally did not try to problem solve. You would be proud of me for that part.
    Actually, I said a couple swear words and was absolutely unfeeling. I apologized for sure, but I still feel like a jerkasaurus.

  3. You can choose to be offended or not.

  4. It is tough for sure. I just think to myself, "Is it necessary? Is it going to uplift someone or bring them down?" Filtering it through that criteria usually keeps me from saying things I shouldn't. I also try and take a step back and not get too involved as well. Listen more, talk less usually helps. Good luck. It's always a balancing act when having relationships with others.

  5. @Jen: sage advice. muchas gracias

  6. Man, after I put my foot in my mouth a few times at our Mother;s Day celebration - I may never speak again! That being "said"... Maybe I would have done better to actually just shut up and listen to others more. So many times we all get together and we can't wait to just chat and chat, to laugh and tell dumb stories about silly things that have happened. Maybe we can just learn to listen a little more and talk a little less! Ask others questions and sincerely listen for their answers.


Your comments are appreciated!