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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

Laura and Oscar: Week 15

A Crossroads continued...

There is a middle school built atop some leveled foothills hugging Sunrise Mountain, then a parking lot and long stretch of stairs ascending to a tennis court that overlooks an unfettered view of the Las Vegas Valley with all of the glittering lights on one side, and on the other, there’s the mountain. It is at the highest point in the Valley without hiking up the mountain as far as I know.

She is simply amazed as she twirls to catch both views in her spin. I revel with delight witnessing her experience as I was when I discovered it on a lonely night riding my motorcycle trying to out run my thoughts.

I stumbled upon this little gem while broken hearted by a woman who stole and abused my heart. Although we were done, my heart refused to believe it and it pined for her still. I pulled my bike over when I saw the stairs and raced to the top to enliven my heart. I’ve noticed sometimes if I increase my heart rate it lessens the pain it didn’t work this time. Now my heart was pounding like a kettle drum, only amplifying  my pain. I slumped over in defeat at the top of the stairs and let the feelings come to the surface of my mind and wept.

However, this night was not for sorrows but for celebration, and as the song says “living the life” that is really the secret to everything--not to ask the meaning of every detail.

So there we are. I park my truck in the parking lot and we make our way up the stairs, she steadies herself with my forearm and admits “I could use the rail but I like it better this way”, and I agree. We make it to the top and we look out over the glitter and shimmer of our town and we spend time reflecting. Trying to explain to her my experience of our night and reconnecting she sums up the words I’m looking for…”surreal”. It truly was. Even now, as I remember the night so vividly, I feel that sense of wonder and mystery life has to offer us if we pay attention. I ask myself why now of all the times in my life, why tonight, and I remind myself to simply experience this moment and enjoy it. So I do. We laugh and poke fun at one another. I listen for that unmistakable laughter I heard a million times as a boy. I watch her throw her hair back in excitement and marvel at the childlike wonder she has maintained in all of the confusing and harsh experiences life has given her. Her inner light has not dimmed from these experiences; on the contrary, it is focused and pure. I show her a star map on my phone and we try to match the constellations with the chart. She falls back while gazing up into the night and I support her with my hand. This is the first and only contact I had with her that night with the exception of a hug as she hopped out of my truck back into her family home, but she was close enough for me to fill my lungs with her effervesce and it was magnificently satisfying.

...to be continued next week. 

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