questioning madness

You floated back into my life--for what?
So I could show you what strife looks like?
So I could cry and complain and make a display
of what is entirely wrong with the woman race?
So I could see how wholly wonderful you are,
how put together and decidedly amazing you are?
Just so I could recognize how utterly ridiculous I can be?
Just so I could feel—even more so than before—lonely?
So I could get so close to love that is not reality
that I torture myself quite fitfully?
Why would you be my friend?
Why now? Why ever?

Why?