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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

Eleanor Roosevelt and My Inferiority Complex

No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent
Eleanor Roosevelt

When considering others...

The truth of the matter is that Eleanor is right, but sometimes you don't realize you were being made to feel inferior until looking back with hindsight. I probably need to think more critically whenever I don't have my normal sense of confidence. That might be a little tip-off that I am giving permission to someone inadvertently.

Another angle on inferiority complexes...

This moment in time is pushing me to my limits of confidence (or lack thereof). I hardly know what to do with myself, having barely a shred of confidence that doesn't fizzle out within the hour of feeling the spark.

For instance, I can't comprehend instructions in my classes--Spanish AND English classes. Just yesterday I had to turn in an assignment, but I did it 100% wrong because I read the instructions with absolutely no regard to the ENGLISH words actually on the page. I assumed a lot and, in my anxious state, had misunderstood my teacher's verbal directions about the assignment. I tried so hard to do a good enough job even though I truly did not know what was expected of me. If my teacher had not been so kind when I explained my mistake, I think I might have left and never returned with how ridiculous I feel right now.

I wish I could fast forward to the point when I am not acting like a freak show and can actually be the effective, intelligent woman I have known and loved and am accustomed to putting my confidence in. Whether or not I should, I realize how I am consenting to make myself feel inferior. Now what the heck do I do with that?! I already feel dejected and alone. I get away from people who try to make me feel inferior, but what to do with myself, right?

The only things I can think to do are pray and keep on keeping on (for lack of a better term) no matter how badly I fail or how stupid I might feel while doing so...


  1. ((hugs))

    I have been there. I'm so sorry. You are amazing! I know it's hard to believe, but you can get through this. :)

    I can't wait to hang out with you on Friday. It'll be so much fun!

  2. Yes to "keep on keeping on." I find myself doubting myself a lot. I know now that I am older, there is a lot to sticking to it. You learn more about yourself if you stay and certainly make more, lasting friends along the way.

  3. Laura, I don't know you personally, but you have a lot going for you. I appreciate your insights through your posts. You notice little important things in other's writing. Your comments are uplifting. I challenge you to keep a notecard in your pocket and begin noticing what you can do. You can fight your "thinking" with what you are good at. Ruth Ayres wrote a post recently on TWT that was about being good enough. Look it up. I think you need it. Be encouraged. I appreciate your honesty on this post. Many of us feel that way too. (Oh, Eleanor is one of my heros.)

  4. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was this: When you do that 'self-talk' that we all do, make sure that what you say is exactly what you would say to your own daughter. What would you tell your daughter if she came to you and said, "I lack confidence. I am confused. I made mistakes today." Be gentle and kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you would your own daughter.

  5. That is a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. Keep on keeping on! I bet you're appearing self confident to the world, even if you aren't feeling it all of the time. We are our own worst critics. Be kind to yourself.


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