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This Phoenix Speaks

Seven years in the making, my first published book, This Phoenix Speaks , is now a reality. The tireless and tiring work invested to ma...

the gift of words

My Writer's Notebook - Front
Writing is so much more than words on a page or a blog or wherever. Writing provides me with an outlet for expression which can have no price attached to it. There are days when my writing is lacklustre. Some days, it is sincerely pitiful. These sorts of days discourage me from writing more than I do and can even get me so disheartened that I begin to believe I can not write and should not write out of concern for the welfare of my audience. That thinking pattern is precisely why I took a week off in February. (see My Slice is Poisoned)

I didn't want to expose myself in such a way that would show how bad things have become--inside my head. I didn't want my writing to turn into how I have been feeling: burdensome and bothersome with squashed ideas and trampled hope.

The reason I haven't completely quit writing is because, even during my period of silence, I was forced to continue writing due to school and my ponderous nature. I just didn't share my writing with anyone except when necessary (school assignments). It pained me to write during that week. It evoked tears of the bitterest sadness. I ached, and still do some days, like Grief personified. Writing about how it felt is salt in my wound, even though it has been a month since I first entered my quiet place. Tears come so easily now.
My Writer's Notebook - Back

I admit to feeling blessed about how it worked out--now--because in the midst of the quiet, I gained something. I gained the knowledge that my writing makes a difference. It holds value for more people than just me. I received numerous messages of
concern and encouragement. Friends and strangers made a point of letting me know they want to hear what I have to say, that what I say matters to them. I guess, when one writes (and talks) as often as I do, people might get a bit caught off guard by silence. But what can not be assumed is the depth and breadth of the kindness shown to me in my period of muted existence. My heart overflows with gratitude for each person who offered words of support. Thank you for taking time to write, what I should have already known, onto my heart.

Writing anything proves difficult for me still, but my whole heart is invested now. Every word I write comes as a gift. I remember how many words are to be had because of the words given me by others.


  1. Loved your post and your notebook!!! Writing is challenging for me too even though I like it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    1. Glad you enjoyed the read. I used stickers that either describe me or would be good writing prompts if I feel like writing but don't have any good material to work with. (plus it is just so fun!) Hope you keep on joining in the conversations on All Things Purple.

  2. Your writing was certainly not lacklustre today! I could've written that first paragraph- been there many times. It's so hard to put yourself out there for the world to judge, but just imagine what would be lost if we didn't share our stories! Very thought-provoking slice!

    I love the songs playing in the background, how did you get them on your blog? I'm not much of a techie.
    : )

    1. What a compliment! I appreciate it very much.

      Music Player Instructions:

      Scroll down to the bottom section of my blog.
      Click on Get Free Playlist
      This will take you to the website.
      Set up a profile.
      Read Directions ;)
      Pick Songs.
      Then follow directions to embed player and bam! They give you an html code to stick on your blog and music plays!!
      This is my fourth version. I needed to have some girl power. I don't need you. I love you but I'm leaving kind of music. I am sure some people might find it obnoxious, but it's part of my healing process. And every once in awhile someone, like you, says how much they love the music... so there we are!

      Hope you are able to get it going. I'm not very tech savvy either. I learn by making gobs of goofy mistakes.

  3. I really enjoyed the word choice you used in this post. You made the writing vivid and I could feel some of what you are feeling. The music helped too ;-) How did you do that? I like the idea of adding music....wait, my wife just pointed out that you explain that in the post above. SWEET. See you tomorrow!

  4. What fabulous feedback! Enjoyed word choice and vivid writing are music to my ears. (no pun intended) Always feel free to join any conversation--new or old. Tell your wife thanks for reading too.


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